"When the darkness closes in-still we're gonna say"...

...."Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your glorious name!
Our heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be your name!"


(rewind: Saturday 5:15pm)
We just got home from eating dinner at a favorite spot of ours, Moe's, and I went into the house to feed Marvelly while Isaak and Syd stayed outside to play.

Bam.
The call came.
No warning.
No time to think.
Isaak's dad had died.

Like getting hit by a speeding car.
You don't see it coming.
Disbelief.
A sudden onset of pain and grief begins to grip you.

Life comes at you fast-with no warning.
It's all I could think.

I felt lost in how to console Isaak or how to make sense out of what he had told me.
We've never had a loss like this before.
Isaak's dad was so young.
Isaak is so young to lose a parent.
So I did all could think to do, and that was to sit by Isaak and pray, while he desperately tried to get in touch with family.

Our phone rang off the hook during the day that followed, preparations got under way, tickets bought, on and on and on it went. No time to think.
Not having time to think during tragedy is both a blessing and a curse.
It's nice to have something else to occupy your thoughts away from the sadness.
But then when do you have time to deal with all the emotions that are inevitably building up?

Two days later, on the brink of Isaak heading to California in the morning, emotions have calmed a bit. He is dealing with the loss of his dad pretty well.
As well as one can I suppose.
We've talked a lot this weekend, about death, which is usually a topic that is pretty off limits in this family.
Isaak is always hassling me to prepare a will, tell him about my last wishes, all that stuff, and I've always dodged the questions never being comfortable with answering them.
Until this weekend.
Something in me and Isaak changed when we heard the news of his dad.
We have two girls and don't want to be totally unprepared, if life comes at us fast, with no warning.

I know and am confident that God can take any circumstance, even tragic ones, and bring goodness out of them. It has been my prayer these past few days that God's love will be evident, His goodness will reign, and that we too will use this situation to show His love, especially to those in such desperate need for it. And that no matter how bleak the situation may be, we never stop praising His wonderful name....

...."though our heart is torn, we will praise you in this storm"...