Il fait chaud

It. is. hot.

This has been our forecast for the past month. Every. single. day over 100 degrees.

And I'm told it won't be cooling off any time soon.

Lord have mercy.

I think my eardrums are sweating at this point.

*(For the record...I still do not miss the snow. I don't care how hot it gets I will never be so desperate that I wish to be back in the horror of Nebraska's winter. I could settle for a 99 degree day as opposed to 105....but if it's frost bite or heat stroke....I'll take the heat stroke thanks.)

Our Adoption Journey Round 2- International.

It was on November 15th, 2009 that we took our very first tangible step in the long process of adoption. I say tangible step because leading up to that Monday over three years ago we had taken many other steps just to get us to that point. We had slowly and progressively been taking a years worth of steps just to lead us to that first meeting with Nebraska Children's Home Society.

Over three years ago we started the process of a domestic open adoption to bring home a son.

And it was with heavy hearts that we decided to walk away from a child that would have been ours had we stayed in Nebraska and not moved to Africa.

We knew, that in following God to Burkina, we would be sacrificing the child we had waited so long to receive. All those years of waiting. All the paper work. The time. The interviews. The meetings. The dreaming. The classes. The thinking that every time the phone rang it could be our case worker with news of a child. We had invested so much emotionally. And had we stayed in Nebraska....had we kept waiting, eventually, a woman would have chosen us. I am certain. Our long awaited son and brother for our girls would have graced our family.

But we left.

We left everything behind, we dropped our nets, to follow the Lord to Africa....including the son we waited so long to have.

But the dream remained. The longing remained.

After everything we went through in Nebraska, the idea of starting over again seemed daunting. Especially since Isaak didn't even want to adopt internationally.....at first.

The whole reason why we began pursuing domestic adoption in the states was because Isaak was not interested in pursing it internationally.

Funny though....before moving to Burkina ever entered our radar and we were living in Nebraska engaged in our domestic adoption, Isaak started making comments every now and then....about adopting again. Randomly he would just say, "next time we adopt, maybe we can look into this county, or that country." Or "Such and such might be an option next time."

My ears would perk up but I wouldn't say anything. I just stored up all those little comments in my heart. Quietly taking note that despite Isaak's initial lack of interest for international adoption....the Lord was beginning to slowly soften his heart to the idea.

And then, when we began the discussions of moving to Africa, all of a sudden it wasn't just a "maybe" but a, "when we move to Burkina we will adopt a child from Africa." He was certain.

So, with both of us being certain, with both of our hearts still settled on the plan to adopt, with the desire still intact and the will to press forward...we committed our hearts to bring a child home during our time here.

If we thought that adopting domestically was challenging....doing an international adoption, turns out, was going to be even more complicated.

And it was shortly after leaving Nebraska and while in DC that we came to our first challenge.....

Challenge #1-Burkina's off limits.

Right before we moved to Burkina Isaak started inquiring about the requirements for adopting internationally while doing the job that he's doing. Isaak has a very different job from what he did in the Air Force, and we soon discovered that they had a number of restrictions for adopting internationally. The first thing we were told is that we could not adopt from our host country.

That was disheartening to hear. Obviously adopting from Burkina was our first choice, seen as how we would be living there, but if the US government wouldn't allow it then there was nothing we could do.

And then, that whatever country we decided to adopt from (so long as it wasn't Burkina) we could never work in after that. Then they told us that the adoption could not be finalized no earlier than six months prior to the end of our assignment. And both parents had to be proven to be deceased.......Eyeyeyeyeyeye. Freakin'. aye.

We had so much going on just to get to Burkina, we couldn't really process that and since we had no idea what the adoption process would look like, all we could do was just surrender all that new little information to the Lord, throw up our hands and say,  

"okay God, it's all you...lead us! Africa's a big ole continent and our son is out there somewhere and we're gonna need you to direct us where to look to bring him home if it can't be from Burkina."

So, we then arrived in Burkina. And it was now...

Challenge #2- To extend or not?

With our domestic adoption stretching on for three years, there was no telling how long it would take to bring home a child internationally. And with our assignment in Burkina only being two years...we were nervous that that might not be enough time to start and finish all we needed to adopt. Having walked the path of starting an adoption and leaving before we saw the finish....we did not want that to happen again. We did not want to get stuck in the middle of the adoption process only to have our assignment finish and not have a child. And the only way to help ensure that didn't happen was to extend for another year.

But, if we extended for a year we would then be leaving Burkina in the summer of 2015. Isaak would have been in the Air Force for longer than 14 years at that point...officially disqualifying him from ever applying to the Air Force's PA program. His pursuit of becoming a PA and working in medicine would halt. And Isaak has been working towards this goal of his for as long as we have been in the adoption process....which is years. He went back to school while in Nebraska, taking night classes to meet all the prerequisites needed in order to apply to the program. He would leave for work at 6:30am and not get home until 10pm, and then still had homework to do on the weekends. He never complained. He worked hard. He got amazing grades. But then every time he prepared his package to apply the board would release a statement notifying everyone of recent changes to the program...and Isaak would have to delay his application to the following year in order to meet the new requirements. He took off a semester while we lived in DC to concentrate on his training and shortly after arriving in Burkina he started back up his studies again, doing his courses online.  (He is actually at the table right now working on his accounting class).

So there we were, stuck between the choice of two dreams.

Extend for a year to better our chances of bringing home a child?

Or,

Stay for only two years, take our chances, still leaving room for Isaak to become a P.A when we leave?

The dream of adopting vs. the dream to be a P.A.

What would it be?

For Isaak, there was never a choice. There was never a debate. He was not stuck. He didn't hesitate. He didn't even have to think about it. It was a very easy decision for him. I mean, it was really no decision at all. He was so willing to lay his dream of becoming a P.A., something that he, I feel, was made to do....at the foot of the cross. He sacrificed his dream in favor of another. He was sure....it was only me that wasn't. I did not want to see Isaak lose out on the opportunity to follow his dream of working in medicine. Something that he has been working towards for so long. It seemed like such a huge sacrifice. He is made to work in that field. I believe that with all my heart. But, but but but....he was sure. And so we extended for another year.

Jesus never said that following after Him would be easy. It comes at a great cost...of this we know well. But, it has also blessed us in more ways than we ever could have imagined. Despite the sacrifices...He is worth it. Always worth it. Which is why we follow Him.

After that came...

Challenge #3- Finding an agency.

Did you know that there are over 3,000 adoption agencies in the U.S.? Holy. freakin'. cow. 

With all the adoption agencies to choose from....how would we ever sift through them all and decide on who to work with?

I really didn't know where to start looking....so when I don't know where to start....I start at Google.

In my vain attempts I started doing some research on the web and looking up different agencies to see what countries in Africa they worked with, knowing that if we couldn't adopt from Burkina we wanted to adopt from close by or neighboring country. But, my research wasn't getting me anywhere. It seemed like the only agencies I found worked with Uganda and Ethiopia. Every now and then I'd come across an agency that worked with Ghana or Liberia but there was never any peace about even sending an inquiry to those agencies.

And some were just straight up shady.
 
So, I started asking around from friends in the states who have more experience in this area than I do. But again, most of the agencies didn't even work with countries in N. West Africa. And the ones we found that did....well, you had to be Muslim in order to adopt from them.

Yeah, well that's not gonna happen, thanks anyway.

Dang. Does it really need to be this hard? I mean really. We couldn't even start because we couldn't even find an agency!  Why can't there be one adoption database with all the 3000 adoption agencies listed and the countries they work with, that way when newbies come along they have one place to go and look. I don't think that's an unreasonable request! Makes a lot of sense actually. That way you don't spend weeks upon weeks wasting your time only to come up empty handed!

The process was not starting out on a really encouraging note. In fact, I was starting to get really discouraged at this point and we hadn't even started yet. Not a good sign.

And then all of a sudden seven weeks after arriving in Burkina we received some news.

As in very God fashion....He sent a ray of hope, He stretched down His hand from Heaven and planted our feet on the path that would set us on the course for our journey.

On Monday October 1st Isaak received word that we could in fact adopt from Burkina Faso after all.

Wha what??!? I'm sorry, come again?!?! Ah! Sometimes, there is no point in asking how...you just need to stop and worship the Lord for only something He could do!

I mean, all we knew is that before the US government said we couldn't. And now we could. So whatever happened in the in between of that reversal we are giving all the credit to the Lord!

God's plan will. not. be thwarted by man.

After praying months ago for the Lord to clearly direct our paths to the exact country where the specific child God has set aside to be apart of our family would be waiting. After weeks and weeks of searching for a different country and an agency and coming up empty. To then all of a sudden receive word that we could adopt from Burkina when we couldn't before!

Jesus Jesus Jesus!!!!

I tell ya, as soon as I got off the phone with Isaak he emailed the headquarters of the orphanage that some dear friends of ours work at here. I then emailed a missionary friend I very recently met here who had adopted a Burkinabé child a number of years ago, to get with her and find out anything she could tell me about adopting from this country.

I had new life in my weary bones!

Another couple of weeks went by, and as God would have it again....on the same Saturday I would have a coffee date at the house with my friend Heidi who adopted from Burkina to hear her story and pick her brain, later in the evening Ruth Cox came by the house, the founder of Sheltering Wings Orphanage in Yako, to discuss with us the prospect of adopting from here as well.

After months of trying to get started and wanting to figure this all out....it seemed like we were finally getting somewhere.

In the morning Heidi shared with me her story and I left feeling encouraged that this could be done.

In the afternoon with Ruth I learned that Burkina Faso very recently joined the Hague Convention and there was only one adoption agency in the entire U.S. that was authorized to do adoptions out of Burkina Faso. And the country had very specific guidelines for prospective adoptive parents...and it appeared that once again, before we could ever even get started...we were already disqualified. 

Challenge #4- Disqualified.

Ruth told me that Burkina Faso does not permit parents who have two biological children permission to adopt a child from their country.

I heard that, and it took everything I had not to start crying in front of her.

No Lord. No. NO!! This was it. This. was. it!! And now we can't again?! What kind of twisted game is being played with our hearts?!?!?

Ruth told me that she was actually in town for an adoption conference this week and while she was there she would mention us to the Director of Placements for all Burkina adoptions and see what she says, just in case. She was very straightforward though, and told me the likelihood of her allowing us to adopt was not good. She told me she would be in touch in a few days and then we parted ways.

I could feel myself starting to crumble. The weight of discouragement was weighing heavy on me.

There were no words. Not really. Just a crying and a groaning to the Lord from deep within for all the hurt and pain and discouragement. For wanting what always seemed to be just out of reach.

The days that went by while we waited for Ruth to call seemed to drag. But in the dragging, somewhere in the midst of the discouragement...I came to peace with the Lord. It was not easy...but I finally surrendered to His will. Whatever His will would be.

I prayed that if for whatever reason we were not meant to adopt from Burkina that He would obviously shut the door. That if this was not His plan, the Director of Placements would deny us the opportunity to adopt.

Then one afternoon around 5pm my cell phone rang, and it was Ruth. She told me that she talked to the director of placements like she said she would, and that the lady said she would, "100% deny placing a child in our home."

This was one of those moments where time ceased to move. It was like I was hearing her in slow motion. The words coming in slow and precise. After she said that, time just kind of paused, like I was suspended in that moment....she stopped talking for a second, and I said to myself, "okay, I guess that's God closing the door." I said to Ruth that I understood and had been praying for the Lord to close a door if this was not His plan for us, and even though it hurt to hear, we were glad for obvious closure.

And then Ruth said to me in response, "She said she would deny placing a child in your home in the context that it was healthy. There is still a possibility if you're open to a special needs adoption. If that is something you and Isaak would be interested in I could ask her specifically about that. In my experience the Burkinabé government has allowed for couples already having kids to adopt special needs children. "

She went on to tell me about the profiles of a number of children in the country who are currently up for adoption and the needs that they have. She told me to discuss it with Isaak and if we were interested she would place more more call to find out one more time if they would allow us to adopt a S.N. child.

As she talked I was frantically writing down everything that she said. When we got off the phone I just stood there. Frozen. You know when you can feel when someone is looking at you. In a crowded room or alone in your house, you can just feel eyes focused on you. I felt that in this moment. Even though I was totally alone in the kitchen...I could feel God's eyes on me. And I could feel the smirk on His face.

He said, "What? You told me to close a door, so I did. But then I opened up another one right next to it."

When Isaak returned from work a little bit later I unloaded on him everything Ruth told me.

And may I say, thank God for Isaak. His calm balances out the basket case that is me. For real, my poor nerves. In a matter of mere seconds I went from thinking our adoption journey had ended to it being open again. My emotions were just all over the place. The first thing Isaak said after I told him the new news was, "We were willing to adopt a special needs child in Nebraska and almost did. Why would here be any different? Nothings changed in our hearts. If we were open to it then, we're open to it now."  He was right. Our hearts hadn't changed.

I waited a couple days to call Ruth back. I spent some time praying, just to be sure that this was what we were suppose to do. But the peace that I had when I first heard the news never faltered. It never left. Despite my ravaged emotions, there was peace. It just made sense, deep down inside, like this is exactly what we were suppose to be doing. This was the path we were suppose to be on.

So a couple days later I called back Ruth and told her we were open to adopting a special needs child and to please contact the government again and make sure they would allow us to move forward before we signed on with the agency.

A few days later we heard back from Ruth again. And we were a go. The door was open wide. Now all we needed to do was submit our application to officially start the adoption progress. Ruth came by not long after and gave us a dozen profiles to look over of special needs children currently ready for adoption. We started reviewing the profiles. Looking at faces. Talking. Dreaming.

We were into November at this point. 

At then when we were given the go ahead Isaak printed off the agencies application paperwork from work and brought it home. And then, again, right when we were on the cuff of starting, all of a sudden, everything stopped.

Challenge #5- Frozen solid.

We were both on the same page. And then suddenly, we weren't. Satan dug in his claws and planted doubt and uncertainty where peace once was. And all progress, overnight, came to a stand still.

It was during this time that the Lord gave me a word. He said, "If Satan can kill the dream before it ever starts...he's going to. Because it's a whole lot easier for Satan to do damage control on a dream that has yet to begin, than on one that got started and God got His hands into."

And it's true. If he can stop the dream from ever happening, by golly he's going to try. Because the last thing that Satan wants is to see God take our dream and expand it to God size proportions. So he sets out to stop us before we ever get started. Satan is cruel and will exploit our fears and hangups to keep us from following after God.
Here we were, on the verge, the cusp, of officially beginning the process to bring home a child...the dream on the brink of becoming reality once again...paperwork in hand....and we can't move.

For two months we went back and forth on one major issue in particular.

Isaak had some major hang ups with the idea that we were paying for a child. That someone was getting rich and profiting on the selling of that child. With the horror of human trafficking ever escalating and the exposure finally reaching a greater audience...Isaak couldn't help but feel like a participant in what he considered a form of human trafficking. He couldn't reconcile his conscience with that. He knew that God had called our family to adopt, he knew that, but all of a sudden he couldn't get past this hang up in his heart. He couldn't see that we were rescuing a child from a life of living in an orphanage with no hope for a family or a future. He couldn't see that the money we were spending would be saving him, as opposed to exploiting him. I could see where he was coming from. Adoption, in many places all over the world has become a very lucrative business, with governments pawning off children to the highest bidders. 

It really stinks that we live in such a broken world where children are exploited to fatten an already rich man's wallet.
Sometimes it really stinks that there are no easy answers.
But, we shouldn't always be quick to surrender to easy answers.
Sometimes we have to wrestle.
It was in Jacob's wrestling that He met God face to face.

And for two months we wrestled, with each other, with God. It was not an easy time. Or a pretty time. It was full of pain and frustration and mounting discouragement.

For two months, we were frozen solid. Unable to move forward. God won't move a couple in opposite directions. And until we could both come to a place of agreement or compromise, there would be no progress.

So we wrestled. And I cried. And I yelled at God. In anger. In disappointment. In exhaustion. In relentless determination. In the refusal to be defeated even though I felt defeated.

I am not ashamed to admit that we struggle. I'm not ashamed to admit that I yell at God either. There have been more times in my life than I could ever count where I have been on my knees banging my fists on the ground, yelling at God inside, crying and screaming out to Him.

God is the closest relationship I will ever have.

And I know that He can handle any and every emotion I have.

Because if I can't be real with Him...who can I be?

Scripture tells us to.....

"Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you, he will never let the righteous be shaken." Psalm 55:22

"Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
  
Well, cares and anxiety and burdens don't come all wrapped up in a neat and tidy package with a pretty bow on top. They are messy. And ugly. They leave us cracked and broken. Splintered and bleeding. And if He is inviting me to cast my cares onto Him and lay my burdens at the foot of the cross....then I am going to. But that's not always going to be done with a smile. Or laid down softly with a little pat on top. I have been known to throw my burdens at the cross. And then collapse on the ground in the shadow of the beams stretched wide pounding my fists into the dirt.

For a long time I was very polite in my approach to God. I said what I thought I was suppose to say. We had a very cordial relationship. Like meeting an acquaintance at a business luncheon. You shake hands. Smile nicely. Nod your head in polite conversation. Laugh a fake laugh at little jokes. 

And then God was like, "Who are you kidding here? I don't want to be just an acquaintance. I don't want to be the stranger you are polite to in passing. I don't want to be like any human relationship you have. I am God. I am more. I am more, have more, can take more, will give you more...than anyone in your life. Don't hold yourself back from me! Come to me, just as you are, and I will show you just who I am!" 

It was over twelve years ago that I learned there is no sense holding back from God. He sees my heart. He hears my thoughts. He knows my pain.

And He showed me a long time ago that He can handle it.

He is the only one who can. 

And so I let Him handle it. 

Everyday...after the tears found a home in His hands....I would let Him handle it.

And then on Saturday January 19th we took a drive out to Yako to spend the morning at the orphanage and visit friends. And it was there that a child was placed in my lap. A child who was suppose to be napping, lay awake in the toddler room, crying. One of the tauntes brought the child outside to the baby enclosure where I sat and placed the precious one in my arms. We spent the rest of my time there together.

I went home that day with that child heavy on my heart. And we just so happen to have the profile in our home for this particular child. But I didn't say anything to Isaak. We were still at am impasse on moving forward. So I just quietly talked to God about things. He was my sounding board of thoughts, for "maybe's" and "what ifs", for "possibilities" and "one days."

And then, on Wednesday January 23rd....four days after our visit to Yako, Isaak came home from work and told me that he filed our adoption application and on the form he mentioned that we were interested in that child. Without ever having discussed the possibility of adopting this particular child together...God swooped in and brought our hearts to the same conclusion.

"And the two shall become one." His Spirit ensures that.

Never underestimate the power of Jesus. Never underestimate His ability to move and work on our behalf. Never underestimate His ability to heal and mend. To bring unity. To cast out doubts. To drive out uncertainty. To bring peace and assurance. He is bigger than any burden. He will overcome every challenge!

We tackled our paperwork after that without delay. A few weeks ago we made another trip up to Yako and were told that the home study is near completion for the child we hope to bring home and it won't be much longer until that precious one is officially cleared for adoption.

And in four days our case worker from Washington state will be flying out to Ouagadougou to stay at our home over Easter to conduct our home study.

This hasn't been an easy journey. But He's faithfully walked with us through it all. In the midst of every trial and unexpected twist, He has been ever present. And we are confident that regardless of how the rest of this story plays out...He will walk with us to it's completion...and beyond.

They say much in Burkina Faso...Dieu est grand.

God is great.

That is a truth I will gladly testify to for as long as I live.

Dieu est grand.

Indeed He is.

A Twilight Tribute

After many years of reading and watching and celebrating the stories that have become a household name all over the world...the Twilight movies are finally over.

I have watched the last.

Four months after it premiered I was able to watch the final installment last night. And having watched the last I think it is only fitting to pay tribute, to the stories that have inspired some of the funnest memories in my life over the past 3 1/2 years.

So, to Twilight, thank you for your ability to make grown women unearth their inner 16 year old selves. I say unashamedly.....you are awesome. For your books that have been the focal point of many of my conversations. Despite your bad make up, horrid special effects, and cheesy as all get out acting....you will live in infamy. For the countless hours of conversation over this story as if it were real and somehow actually affected our lives in some way. Thank you for the opportunity to get lost in a completely unrealistic, totally inconsistent, utterly ridiculous but oh so lovable story.

I will treasure it forever. To many years worth of memories.....

New Moon Midnight Premier-Nov. 2009, Nebraska

back-Amy, Holly, Brandi, Me, Kara, front-Liz and Becky

-Running down the street to Holly's house at the butt crack of dawn in my pj's to watch the newest New Moon tailor on her computer.
-Me and Holly planning our premier outfits because the right clothes only enhances the movie experience. That's true by the way.  
-Waiting in the 'Burb stalking the movie theater parking lot for other twi-hards who actually thought they were gonna succeed in getting in line before us, before us?!?! You crazy. And then making a run for the doors when it was time to open so that no one would get in line in front of us. Oh yeah. We were the first in line. Because we care the most.
-Sneaking in my Bella birthday cake by bribing the security with a slice. 

To Isaak for humoring me. "Real Men Watch Twilight". It's true. For their wives they do. And they read the books too. To Liz and her contagious rip roaring laughter.

To waiting in this line in the dead of summer by. my. self. My friends totally abandoned me. Apparently there was a line. And I crossed it.
But dude, on the other side of the sanity line that only hyperventilating tween girls cross, was this guy, who I was determined to have my picture taken with. I will not be outdone by tweens. So despite the horrendous line and heat stroke imminent summer temperatures I willed myself to stay for the four hours it took to inch my way to the front. I will be hardcore. I will endure. I'm coming Carlisle!!!!

And I scored a picture with him. We are friends by the way. And, as any non obsessed girl would do, I turned it into a t-shirt so I could wear it to the Eclipse premier! I know. I really am awesome.

Eclipse Midnight Premier-June 2010, Nebraska

Me, Alexis, Sherry, Brandi, Kara, Liz

 -To late nights spent in long midnight premier lines with teenage girls who you know were eyeing us enviously because they could only hope to be half as cool as we are when they are grown ups. That's what I tell myself anyways....

Eating at the casino buffet for dinner. To screaming like a bunch of banshees. To Brandi and her hilarious comments any time a wolf bared their chest. To Kara's erratic breathing during the entire Eclipse premier! Passing the long night playing Twilight trivia. And acting in a generally ridiculous manner....

To sneaking in loads of treats disguised in my Twilight game tin. Like I am about to pay $5 for a 1oz. box of candy, please.
To talking with Holly and Becky on the phone while they too sat in line for the premier in D.C.

Breaking Dawn Part 1(not the premier, me and Holly made a pact to see it together when I came to town)

 December 2011-Washington D.C.

Reesa, Liza, Becky, Holly, Me

Getting to watch #4 with Holly and Becky in D.C! The theater was nearly empty because the movie had been out for a few weeks but we willed ourselves to resist watching it until we could be together as I traveled home from SC.

And now, in Africa, for the finale. Seen as how I could not watch it at it's premier, I had a little premier of my own when the movie finally arrived at my house four months later. 

With new friends to share it with this time. And there was all the laughing and good times and poking fun at the awkwardness and loving every minute of the cheesiness.

Breaking Dawn Part 2-March 2013, Burkina Faso

Nathanja, Megan, Me, Rebecca

Thank you Twilight, for over three years of hilarious memories.

I salute you.

(and I'm glad you are done so that I can properly focus on my next obsession which is Hunger Games.)

A Beautiful Anomaly

"Where words are restrained, the eyes often talk a great deal."- Samuel Richardson

My first visit to Tabitha House

There is this place called Tabitha House. It is located in Sector 30.

Ouagadougou is divided into "Sectors" or neighborhoods, or areas of town, like in the States.  

Sector 30 is considered the poorest neighborhood in Ouagadougou.

When I first heard that I was dumbfounded. Truly. I mean in a place that is so severely poverty stricken, to actually have a neighborhood that stands out as being the poorest, out of all the other poor neighborhoods is saying a lot.

Sector 30 is like a little village in the middle of the city. One minute you are on a nicely paved road lined on each side with street lights and little businesses...the next second you visibly cross the threshold into where Sector 30 lies. The paved road ends. The lights stop. The businesses stop. And you enter into an area where there is absolutely no electricity or running water. Little homes made of mud and bricks. Just like in the villages. Except you'd think that in the city, especially the capital city, all people would at minimum have access to electricity and water. That is not the case here.

 

The poorest of the poor...in a city already marked by poverty.

My mind can scarcely comprehend.

And then there is Tabitha House...a little beacon of hope that sits in the heart of it all....

Tabitha House is a building, a project, that was started many years ago as an opportunity to teach skills to some of the neediest women. The women of sector 30 are already poor. And then there are the widowed and abandoned women of sector 30 who are among the poorest of this poorest neighborhood. In enters Tabitha House. A place where these widowed and abandoned women can gather 3 days a week to learn a trade in hopes of earning money for themselves and their children.

Sadly, over the years the project fell to the way side and the once thriving establishment now had just a handful of women who devotedly still came each week to make products.

Until God led a woman named DeeDee to Burkina to overtake this ministry and do a complete overhaul on it.

As God can only do...the once barely surviving ministry is once again thriving, going from just 8 women to over 40 each week.

It is here, at Tabitha House, that these women work to earn an income making dolls, bracelets made out of rolled up magazines, earrings and placemats.

The women who come here to work and earn a respectable income are from diverse religious backgrounds....Muslims, Animist and Christians. But despite their religious differences DeeDee leads the women in a bible study and prayer time every morning before they begin work. And at the end of the work day they have another time of prayer for the sick among them, where those suffering or needing specific prayer gather at the front of the building and everyone, as is Burkinabé culture, speaks prayers over them out loud all at once. 

Until recently all the women would come to work with their kids in tow and the children would busy themselves at their feet playing or running around the property. And then DeeDee had a little gated children's area installed for the children of the women who work there. Now, they have a little area where they can go each work day and play in a safe environment while their mommies work. One woman is responsible for sitting in the gated play area to watch the kids, but she still gets credit for working and is paid accordingly.

And it was today that I had the privilege of visiting Tabitha House with Marvelly and my friend Joanna, whom DeeDee is living with during her stay in Burkina.

DeeDee had mentioned that she has a need for more interaction with the kids during the women's work time. So we drove down there today and spent the morning hanging out with the kids, playing with them and entertaining them while their mom's worked.

A mission team that just came out brought some toys with them to donate to Tabitha House so they had a small pile of Legos, some styrofoam alphabet floor mat puzzle, and some other miscellaneous toys, along with two rocking horses that Marvelly just loved.

So we sat and we played and made new acquaintances. As all the kids there spoke Mooré, before I knew it I was teaching the alphabet to the kids around me in French. I would say the letter in French and they would repeat it. We'd go back and forth through the numbers and letters. I found it quite comical, that me of all people, in my limited French speaking abilities would be sitting there teaching it to kids who knew less French than I did.

At Tabitha House the only kids allowed inside the gated play area are the ones whos moms work there. However, there are dozens of other kids from sector 30 who stand outside and around the gate staring in.

And this is what it looks like. It is not easy, to see so many kids in need, and longing to be a part of something more than what they have and deny them the opportunity.

It might seem cruel, but the gated area is just a small cemented slab and if they let all the kids in to play it would be an absolute madhouse, quickly getting overrun. It would become unsafe, and so out of necessity boundaries have been established.

The cool part, and what this picture doesn't show because I wasn't fast enough with my little point and shoot camera...is every time Marvelly rocked forward on the horse she would reach out her hand and tickle the children's arms. And they would smile big smiles and reach back out to her and she would do it again and back and forth they would go. And I would sit with my back near the gate and turn around quick and tickle tummies and they would touch my hair, and we would shake hands and say hello over and over again. And what I love is that despite the very visible barrier, we still found ways to connect through it.

With simple touches and words and eye contact we were able to tear down the fence unseen, the fence that is covered with graffiti telling them they are inferior, unworthy, forgotten, inadequate, less than....that's the fence we succeeded in tearing down a little more today....even though the visible fence still stood between us.

I tell ya....Jesus is in the little moments.

Behind this fence there is a concrete wall, this one seen here, that divides Tabitha's property with other residents of sector 30.

The wall sits maybe four and a half feet high and runs along the back of the Tabitha House...creating a little alley way. This is where these kids stand, in the little alley between the wall and the Tabitha House. 

As I sat near the fence, playing, Joanna sat next to me on a bench. All of a sudden a little girl came up behind the kids, having climbed on top of the wall and sat straddling it, crying. Kids are always crying here, so at first I didn't pay it immediate attention. But I turned my head around again, as her crying continued, and I noticed a boy standing below her on the ground pinching her legs really hard causing her to cry harder. As I looked from the boy to the girl I then saw that her nose was bleeding. In an instant I yelled at the boy in half french, half mooré, "vous la! Ayo!" (You there! Stop!) and the boy takes off running. I look at Joanna as we both stand up and notice that the girl's face is now covered in blood. We start heading towards the gate and right at that moment DeeDee is approaching the gate to say hello to us and I tell her a little girl has been beat up and is bleeding badly and ask her if she has a towel. DeeDee runs back inside the main building and grabs a first aid kit and runs back out ahead of me and we all take off after the girl. The girl, scared, was running away but one of the women from the center was already running after her, caught up to her and was leading her back to the buildings steps. We sit the girl down and I give DeeDee my water bottle and she pours it over the girls face in an effort to wash some of the blood away. Her face, stomach, back and shorts (the only clothes she wore) were all stained with blood. DeeDee takes out some gauze and I lay the girls head back and she applies pressure to the nose to help stop the bleeding. Many of the women from the center have come out at this point and formed a circle and start inquiring as to what happened and send word for her mother. The little girls grandma shows up and then her mother and after a few minutes the blood has begin to slow down. Joanna grabbed some tissues out of the car and we put some in her nose and told her mom to keep her head back until the bleeding stops.

It must be said, that during all of this as I stood over the girl, and we cleaned the blood off her body with my water and I held her head back....Marvelly was standing right next to me. It was well over 100 degrees already and Marvelly was sweating up a storm and as she saw our water poured out onto the little girls body...she became very concerned that there would be no water left for her. So in the middle of caring for the girl, I had to stop and care for my little girl and speak truth over Marvelly, 


"Marvelly, this little girl needs our water more than we do. So I am going to give her our water because she needs it, and I know that by helping her God will provide more water for you to drink. Miss Joanna has a water bottle and I bet she will share her water with you, just like we are sharing our water with this little girl."

Marvelly, at just five years old, has seen, and will continue to see more than most kids her age. And I do not wish to shield her from it. She is sensitive but very strong, and by talking to her about the needs and suffering she sees around her....it makes her less afraid of it. She will grow up, prayerfully, not shunning and retreating away from what is hard to see...but rather running towards it. I don't want my girls to run away from the pain in the world around them. I want them to run to it, like we did this day, because they are confident that God is running with them and will equip them to help.

As the girl, her mother and grandma started walking off towards home I still had about a 1/3 of my water left (it had 1.5 liters in it) and so I walked over to the grandma and handed her my remaining water to take back with her. She stopped in the dusty dirt path, with her daughter and granddaughter behind her, and looked at me, with curious eyes. She spoke no French, and was struggling to speak Mooré because she didn't have any teeth left, and with her toothless smile she looked at me, held her hands together and brought them up to her mouth to show "to drink". I nodded my head yes many times as she stared back at me, continuing to bring her hands up to her mouth, and finally she understood that I was giving her what was left of my water. I have no idea what she said, but she was so excited she started shaking and smiling and we hugged and her eyes spoke of the deepest gratitude.

For what was but a few cups of water.

I stood there for a few seconds, and let the reality wash over me that there is a deep level of suffering and poverty here like I haven't seen before. And I have not even scratched the surface of what life must be like in Sector 30.

As I walked back with Marvelly to the children's area we sat down again to play and one of the kids brought me the only book that was there....it was a children's book with three stories from the New Testament, and the very first one was about the Good Samaritan.

If that's not irony for you.

I sat with Marvelly and one other girl and read the story and after the other girl got up I told Marvelly this story is exactly what just happened. We saw a girl who was hurt and needed help and we stopped to help her, just like Jesus told us to do in the story. There was even a picture of the Good Samaritan using his water to wash off the hurt mans wounds. I mean truly, I still stand here, in awe. That moment was scripture in action. And for that book to just so happen to be there, to read to Marvelly right after we got done helping the little girl....I don't think God wants her forgetting this day. Or me for that matter.

As we prepared to leave I asked DeeDee what some of her needs were for the center and she told me that someone had donated a huge stack of felt Bible teaching materiel with all kinds of bible characters and backgrounds and she needs someone who would be willing to come once a week and lead the children in the play area in a bible lesson. The kids just sit around playing as their mothers work, and since many of the mothers who come are not Christian their children are not hearing the gospel either, so this is a great evangelizing opportunity for the children. Then, as their mothers are  hearing the gospel during devotion time before work, their children will now have an opportunity to hear the gospel as well. She even has a translator lined up to come and interpret to Mooré.

She asked if I would be willing to do this.

And since Marvelly started asking me in the car as we were driving away if we could come back every Monday....I think I just might. :~)

It helps that she made a little friend during her time here.

So, that was our first visit to the Tabitha House.

It was good. And hard. And I am finding that that always seems to be the case here in Burkina. It is always equally good and hard. Filled with joy and pain. Hurt and healing. A filling and an emptying.

Life happens fast here. You can't hesitate. You must be ready at all times to take action. You must be ready at all times to stop and serve. You must be ready to reach out and take a hand. You must learn to find light in dark places. You must be willing to do the small tasks. To go where you are needed. To serve in humbling and subtle ways. You must learn to carry Jesus with you everywhere. You must learn to see beauty in the raw and unrefined. You must be willing to surrender all.

Lessons that I am, of course, still learning.

But learning I am....we all are. 

It rains.

I lay in bed, having just opened my bible to read before sleep. I look at my ipod and it reads 9:38pm. A moment later I hear Isaak finally arrive home on his motorcycle after a long day at work. I listen closely. It sounds as though the guard is closing the gate. But the loud rumbling lasts too long. Funny, I thought. The sound resembles thunder. Isaak enters the room another moment later and says, "Do you hear the thunder? It's just started to rain."

I listen for a moment, and indeed, I do hear the rain beginning to trickle down onto our metal roof. 

I rip off my covers, leap out of bed and run for the door. I stand on the patio.....

it rains.

I step outside and Isaak joins me. We stand together in the rain. We look up to the sky and watch the lightning illuminate the distance. We watch the trees and branches sway from the wind. We let the coolness wash over us. We stand on the back step, just watching, totally in awe. 

And I say, "this is for someone. From everything that we've been told from all our friends who've lived here for years and years and years...it doesn't just rain in March. This is for someone, or someones. "  

I could feel it. God was moving. God was displaying His power. Someone needed to see it. Someone's life, either physical or spiritual, depended on it. God is still in the miracle business. He can still part that Red Sea to save His people. He can still stop the sun from moving in the sky. He can still heal the blind. He can still make the lame walk. He is still just as powerful today as He was back then! And He can surely open up the sky and bring forth rain in the middle of the driest time of the year in Burkina...just. to. prove. He. can.

After Isaak went inside I stood by the patio screen for a few more minutes, praying. That whoever needed this rain or whoever challenged or doubted His power and might...would be on their knees praising Him right now.

May we all find our knees in praise to Him right now....because He is worthy. Oh how He is worthy

 design by Ashley Pyeatt

 "He will come to us like rain." Hosea 6:3

Marvelly is 5.

Marvelly celebrated turning the big 5 here last month. She is officially a whole hand's worth of age. Her birthday was technically on a Monday,  but we had her party and celebration on the Saturday before. She woke up bright and early that Saturday morning, came into my room and stood next to my bed and told me today was her birthday. I playfully shoo'd her back off to bed again telling her I had to get her surprise ready. So off she ran back under her nets to wait....

...moments later we carried in her breakfast tray with cereal and mango juice and her family gifts. She lay perfectly still pretending to be sleeping to make the surprise more authentic. At once me, Isaak and Sydaleigh burst into our traditional Happy Birthday wake up song and she sits straight up and smiles from ear to her with her beautiful crooked Marvelly smile.

She has been eagerly counting down the days until she turned five. Last year on her birthday we had just arrived in D.C. so we celebrated her turning 4 sitting on the floor around a rubber maid container for a table, with a cake Isaak picked up last minute from the Commissary. No friends. No party. Sadly no homemade cake. Just a very modest gathering with the four of us.

This year we have been discussing back and forth for a while what she would like to do. At first she wanted a Strawberry Shortcake party, so I bought some S.S. decorations (including a pinata that still hasn't come.) Then she changed and wanted a cat party. Then she wanted a mermaid party. In the end we compromised on a Strawberry Shortcake Cat party. Really all that consisted of was a few S.S. banners I hung in our patio and a cat cake. Luckily there is a cat named Custard in Strawberry Shortcake, so I fashioned my cake after her.

Each night before the girls birthday, after they go to bed, I stay up late finishing their cakes to surprise them in the morning. I have very limited talent when it comes to making cakes, but it has become a little tradition for me to make their cakes anyways...just like my mom did for me for so many years. I love that it doesn't have to be perfectly made, it just tickles their heart knowing that I made it for them. And mine too.

And then we invited all her little friends from church and the embassy over for swimming and slip n' slide!

She had a great time.

She loved celebrating with so many of her favorite people.

And after her party was done most of us walked down to the Rec Center just a few blocks from our house for their annual Carnival party.

How fun that is was also on the day of Marvelly's party because the kids got to go play games and have a horse ride! Not a bad way to spend your birthday!

Still can't believe my Marvi girl is five years old. She has got the most interesting personality....

-She is feisty. 
-And emotional. She can go from happy to screaming sad in two seconds flat. But she has a very quick recovery time. If she is angry or upset about something, she can go back to being happy again in two seconds flat too! She's quick to give into her emotions but just as quick to recover from them. She is a deep feeler this one.
-She is quick to offer apologies and quick to extend forgiveness.
-She still, never stops moving.
-She seeks out my lap whenever I am in a ten foot radius of her. If we are sitting on the floor together coloring, within about 5 seconds she will have scooted onto of my legs. I love that my lap is still, her first preferable place to be. Close contact is definitely very very important to her.
-She is learning to draw people now.
-Her imagination is more alive than ever.
-She is singing all the time.
-She copies Sydaleigh and mimics her phrases and tone of voice without even knowing it.
-Her favorite game right now is when I "copy" her.  So everyday we play the "Moooommmmy, will you copy me?" game.
-She thinks she is really funny and is always laughing at herself.
-She is really into burping right now. She likes to drink water just so she can make herself burp. And then she laughs at herself.
-She loves to color, that's another one of her things right now and is quite good at it.
-She will still make believe a family out of anything. I can find her with sticks, rocks, marbles, you name it...and they will be imagined as a family.
-She is very reluctant to learn french or talk to anyone who speaks french. The biggest adjustment for Marvelly since moving to Burkina has definitely been the language difference. But despite her reluctance to speak it she has an incredible memory to retain what she hears and learns. Including Mooré. Every now and then she'll bust out a word in French or Mooré that she has heard and it just makes me smile. I pray that one day she will be more open to wanting to use the new languages and not resist it so much.
-Her hair is as crazy as ever. It is growing quite long and is almost to the bottom of her back, though you wouldn't know it because I frequently have to pull it back to keep the crazy out of her face.
-She is still my mini me. Every week I still have people come up to me and tell me how much we resemble each other.
-Despite her growing maturity she still has her two year old voice. It sounds so cute listening to her speak in a more mature way but having it sound so young still.
-She still loves on her pink blanket every night and puts it over her mouth and nose like she did as a baby. She is getting less attached to it though, every now and then telling me she doesn't need or want it. It is then that I thrust it upon her and say "You have to have your blankie!!!" Just kidding. Deep down I'm doing that. I'm not ready for her to not want her blanket anymore.
-Burkina's pure mango juice is her favorite drink.
-She has finally taken a liking to cheese pizza. 
-She has finally learned how to take her own shirts off!
-She likes to wear socks to bed at night.
-Marvelly is learning to read and has a growing number of words that she can pick out in our story times and her handwriting is improving every day.
Sydaleigh is by far her favorite person, even though they fight like cats sometimes they love each other deeply.
-Her favorite night is "Friday night" when her and Sydaleigh get to have a sleep over in Sydaleigh's bed.
-She is always asking questions about Jesus, and heaven and Satan. She is very intrigued with Satan right now and frequently discusses how he hates us and God and how he used to be an angel in Heaven but only wants to trick us now. She is a deep thinker. Loves to talk. Especially about matters pertaining to the Bible....and princesses.
-She is learning how to serve kids younger than her. With Marvelly being the youngest there has never been anyone in the house younger than her to take care of. She has pretty much always been the one taken care of. But now that she is serving at the orphanage with me she is having to learn how to take care of others.
-She still gets car sick requiring us to not leave home without her "throw up" cup still.
-She loves to wear her hair "high" on her head like our friend Miss Megan.
-only eats the frosting off the top of her cupcakes
-talks about getting married almost daily.
....and of course so much more that could never be fully written down.

She is special. So perfectly unique. We love what her life has added to our family. I love watching her grow though it pains me to see her getting older. She will always be my little moonchka (some totally random and weird nickname I started calling her a long time ago). Just love that kid so stinkin' much.

Our weekend in Nazinga. A memoir.

We went to Nazinga last weekend. Nazinga is a game ranch on the southern border of Burkina Faso just about five miles from the Ghana border. We went with a big ole group of dear friends that we have come to know and love since moving here. We piled into two cars and headed south to spend the weekend gazing at incredible creation and just enjoying time outside the city.

But seen as how this is Africa ( I'm learning there is a reason why people say that expression so much)...our weekend wouldn't be complete without some unexpected adventure rolled in. I'm figuring out, that try as you may, you can just never fully prepare for life here. You can do your best to be prepared, but you always have to leave a little wiggle room, because something is almost certainly bound to happen that you did not prepare for....and such was the case this weekend.....

After everyone arrived at our house on Friday mid morning we loaded up and strapped down all of our luggage and pulled out of town. From the capital city of Ouagadougou where we live it is about 100 miles to Nazinga, which should take less than 2 hours of driving time. But here in Burkina, where most of the roads are dirt and filled with potholes that will swallow up your car...it took us 5 hours. Five hours to drive 100 miles. The roads are that bad. When you can only drive five to ten miles an hour, it takes a really really long time to get any where.

We set out at 10:30am and knowing we wouldn't arrive till late afternoon we stopped off on the side of the bush for some lunch.

I cooked a mammoth turkey before we left for everyone to eat during our trip (first time making a turkey, and it was pretty tasty from what I hear! Go me!!) so everyone chowed down on turkey sandwiches and Lays chips, French style. :~)

I kept having those moments this weekend where all of a sudden I'd be struck with the fact that I am. in fact. in Africa. While sitting on the mat eating, I just looked around and thought, "I'm eating lunch on the side of the bush in Africa!!!" Still cool. 

Culture lesson #279- there's no "rest stops" or McDonalds to pull over in to pee at... here, nature is your bathroom, so if you gotta go while driving you make like the locals and pee in the bush, ladies included. You just need to take extra precaution for any snakes or scorpions before you squat.

After lunch we continued on our journey and finally made it to the ranch entrance. From there it only took a little over an hour to arrive at camp. But it was an hour well spent....

...in no time at all we spotted our first elephant. But he started charging us, so we left.

Not too long after that, we spotted this group of elephants even closer to us on our left. I didn't realize till after I took the picture that there was a little baby elephant between them. Isn't he cute all tucked in between his family?!

As soon as we stopped to take pictures the elephant on the right (this guy right here) started charging us and ramming the trees and branches in front of him to display his dominance. So...we left. We figured it best not to stay and get bulldozered :~) Plus the girls were totally freaked out by their eyes. But it was SO COOL!! Elephants in their element!!! These guys are not docile like at the circus!

We continued, and after a long and very bumpy ride, we arrived at home for the next two nights. Never having been to Nazinga, I didn't know what to expect. Everyone kept calling the accommodations on the ranch site a hotel. So naturally I envisioned a cracked out ghetto style Motel 6 type accommodations. But then they would say that we needed to bring camping chairs to sit on? Why would we need camping chairs and a propane stove if we're staying in a hotel?? That's what you bring when you're going camping......ummm....is that a hut?

Oh. my. gosh. we're. camping.

Do not let the facade of the hut deceive you...that is nothing more than a tent with a toilet. 

God help me. I don't do camping. No no. Not me. Nay nay I say. Not anymore. I have camped, many times in high school and once with Isaak in the twelve years we've been married. But I permanently concluded about 11 years ago that camping was not for me. You see there are two kinds of people in this world....those who are deranged and enjoy camping. And the rest of us saner folk. I would much rather be holed up in a Hilton thank you very much than cookin' weenies over a camp fire.

God knows this.

But yet there I was....camping. (I mean, as close to camping as I've gotten in over a decade)

Apparently hut and hotel are interchangeable here. Now I know.

They did say that it was rustic, which I was expecting. I was prepared for rustic. But everything is rustic here. Even the real hotels. There is no five star anything in Burkina like in the States. There is not even a two star. How about we just chuck the whole "Star-ing" system out the window, mkay? There system here consists of whether or not you have electricity and running water and for how long.

Our huts did not have electricity....

...but they did have a bathroom with a working toilet! Holla!! Hooray for running water! 

...and we were told that the beds did not come with bedding so to bring your own. Again, rustic. But these actually came with bedding. Granted the pillows were black (b-lack!) with years worth of dirt, dust and bugs, but it was bedding nonetheless. Ah, what a perspective shift in the past six months! Oh, the nerve we used to feel if our hotels had a stray hair on the pillows, the rooms smelled musty or the carpet had a stain on it, now we are grateful for simply having a dirty flushable toilet. Only God can take credit for transforming the snobbed out entitled girl I used to be (true, she hasn't been fully excavated out of me yet but she's on her way) and turning me into someone who is wholeheartedly grateful for running water and dirty pillows.

The last hotel we stayed at in Bobo (that really was a hotel by the way) did not have any running water the whole weekend. The staff brought us buckets of pool water to flush the toilets, unsuccessfully, and we just had to make due with being dirty. So the fact that we had running water was a gift. A huge gift that we would be exceedingly grateful for as the hours ticked by.....

...especially since there was no electricity and the temperature was creeping towards 110 degrees. That gift of running water turned into our only way to find relief from the heat.

We passed our first evening setting up camp. We had the four huts closest to the watering hold and outlook and the huts were situated in kind of a cross shape. So we had this whole area to ourselves which was great with a fairly large common area for a camp fire and playing in the middle.

We played botche ball, the kids did a variety of crafts and games that Nathanja brought, and we just sat around snacking and talking.

The kids had the greatest time!

Every now and then someone would get up and walk into their hut and come out a few minutes later with wet hair. When the heat would get unbearable people would just retreat to the shower to cool off under the water real quick and then come back.

Our huts were literally a 30 second walk to the watering hole. So we would take walks down there and sit on the benches overlooking the water and let the breeze wash over us. The water was teeming with alligators and along the banks would pop up deer, warthogs and monkeys. I am a water girl. I could have sat there all day long just looking out over the water at nature letting the wind carry me away. While we sat we noticed that big stormy looking clouds were gathering in the sky off in the distance. But alas, this is dry season. It doesn't rain this time of year. We have a couple more months before we can expect clouds like that to pour out water again.

But later that evening as we were having dinner in the restaurant, it started lighting. I was satisfied with the lighting, not expecting more than that. But Matt, who lives out in the bush for two weeks of every month drilling wells, knows African nature better than the rest of us, and he quietly mentioned in passing that it was going to rain. He spoke it with such certainty. Years worth of experience living on the land. And I knew he was right...I just didn't think it would rain here, where we were, I just figured it would rain off in the distance somewhere. But as we walked out of the cave-like viewing area near the watering hole after dinner, flash lights in hand as darkness had settled over us, we heard a noise.

Rain was falling through the trees and pounding down onto the dry cracked ground.

It was raining.

I can not fully describe what it feels like to stand in the rain and let is wash over you when you have gone without it for so long. I don't think I will ever look the same at rain again. And boy did it rain. It wasn't just a sprinkle either, but a full blown outpouring. And I stood in that rain until every last drop had finished falling to earth over me. We danced and screamed and hooped and hollered and jumped for the joy of God's goodness to gift us with such a treat as rain in dry season. I will never forget that moment, and the rain that fell that night. It was the sweetest gift.

That night the staff turned on their generator and we actually did have elecricity for four hours. Two of those hours was spent at the restaurant eating and when we came back and got the kids ready for bed there was but one hour of fan time (no a.c., just a ceiling fan) left before it turned back off.

I have never in my life felt heat like that. I have never in my life been so uncomfortable in my own skin. The girls finally fell asleep after a few hours of tossing and turning. We damped some wash clothes and put them on their foreheads to help with the heat and that helped lull them to sleep. Me and Isaak just lay there, counting down the minutes until morning. There was not even a faint breeze that blew in through the screens. The breeze must have moved on with the rain, because in its wake was the most lifeless suffocating air. I found myself imagining that the wind would rustle in through the window, trying to trick myself, but it didn't work. There was nothing to do but endure it. At some point I did fall asleep, around three in the morning. Isaak retreated somewhere around 1am and slept outside not able to stay inside the stifling hut any longer.

But alas, morning came. We woke early at 6am to get ready for our morning safari. The morning air outside the huts felt so good!

We got dressed (Isaak was very spiffy in his shorts and knee high socks...remind me to never let him pack himself again!!), we had coffee, dry cereal and bread and then we set off into the savannah!

Climbing up to the roof of the van!

Here we all are (minus Isaak, Fred and Rhyan who rode inside) piled onto the top of the van bright and early in the morning for our safari! Don't try this in the U.S....you'll get arrested for for child endangerment!

Off we went.....we had to make sure to hold on pretty good because as bumpy as it is driving on these dirt paths buckled into a car...it is even bumpier when you are sitting on the roof. There were also some close calls with trees and tree branches wanting to decapitate us. But we came up with a good ducking system to make sure we kept all our limbs in tact!

We traveled onward, deeper and deeper into the wilderness....we saw a couple baboons and some antelope like looking animals. We saw hornbills (Zazu from Lion King) flying all about. We were having a great time. It was an incredible feeling sitting on top of the van, with the savannah spread out before me, gazing into a world most people never see. I just kept screaming to myself, "you're on a safari in Africa!!!!" So surreal.

And then came that moment. You know that moment in Mamma Mia where Meryl is on the yacht lounging in her silk dress being fed grapes having her Titanic I'm king of the world moment, and then next thing she knows reality comes calling and her far away fantasy evaporates in a smokey mist and she's got all these Greeks all up in her face needing money for bills she can't pay. That was this moment. One minute I'm gazing out into the land, ahhh, this is great, look how beautiful....

And the very next minute Africa came calling....she wanted reality back.
Our van drove down a little blip in the path, just a blip, and KABOOM!!!!!
It sounded like something exploded, followed by a sizzling sound, followed by smoke. I'm no car expert...but I'd say that's not a good sign. I'm also no African expert, but I'd say breaking down in the middle of the wilderness is also not a good sign.

We all just kind of sat there for a minute. Not sure what to do. Rhyan tried gunning the gas to climb out of the little pit, and then in reverse to get out. But to no avail. The van was stuck. Then reality sunk in that we were in fact really broken down. And the next thing I know Isaak and our guide get out of the van and take off into the bush to start making their way back to camp to retrieve our Jeep. No time to hug him once last time and offer advice on how to escape an approaching attack by a pact of hyenas.  Uhhh, bye honey! Good luck with that!

We slowly start climbing down off the roof and as we crowd around the busted van we see this....

 ...purple radiator fluid seeping into the dirt. The guys get down and start poking and prodding and before long they are holding and inspecting a big ole piece of car that got ripped off the bottom. I'm gonna venture to say in my limited car knowledge that radiator fluid leaking out and parts falling off the car is not a good thing.

So there we were. Stuck. In the middle of the great big African plain. Nothing around. Just us and the animals and the sun.

Now, some people caught in this situation might have a tendency to get alarmed. To worry. They're the ones that are creepily eyein' you and subtly circling around and you just know they're about to get all Lord of the Flies on you. Thank goodness not this group! Deep down I was shouting...."Our car broke down in the middle of the African savannah!!!!! Wha hoo!!!!!" Sometimes you just have to embrace the adventure. :~)

While the men were busy actually doing something useful like trying to fix the car...we ladies thought it was a good time to reenact Jurassic Park...."and she reached into the dinosaur's poo and pulled it close to her face to inspect the feces. What has she been eating?" And of course we were already scouting out ways to make a bow and arrow, deciding on the best trees to climb to hunt, feeling the urge to get our inner Katniss on.

After a while Isaak and our guide returned with our Jeep. Hooray! They weren't attacked by wild animals along the way! And then all the men pitched in to push with every last morsel of their might to get the van out of that divet and turned around to tow. Then eleven of us piled into the rear of our tiny Jeep and rode back to camp with Isaak driving like he was on some Top Gear episode and our poor guide hanging on from the roof rack, legs dangling and swinging back and forth the entire way.

 Never a dull moment here.


Isaak dropped us off at camp and drove back to the bush to tow the van. Ironically, even though our safari was cut short, as soon as we returned to camp there was a group of elephants at the watering hole!

So incredible to see wild animals interact in their natural environment.

Magnificent creatures.

After hanging out watching the elephants for a while Isaak, Rhyan and Matt had to go into town, two hours each way, to buy parts for the van in hopes of being able to drive it home on Sunday. As they drove off with the AC blasting in our car, we were left to endure another long hot day. Another 108 degrees with no relief. Being outside in heat like that for over fifteen hours has a way of making an alligator infested watering hole look inviting. For reals. You're so hot all you can do is sit there like a blob of slowly melting flesh.

So, instead of tempting fate with the alligators I opted to make a homemade swimming pool of our own. Nicole happen to have an extra tub so we stuffed it in my shower and filled it up for the kids to play in. Thanks to Sydaleigh's preparedness she "just in case" packed a swim suit for her and Marvi and they were all able to play in some water and splash each other to beat the heat.

And then wouldn't ya know...some elephants just so happen to come walking through the trees right next to our camp on their way to the watering hole!!

Seriously, that is the top of the blue chair I was sitting in next to the "pool" the kids were playing in. We are right in the middle of nature here.

(*photo credit to Joanna for snapping this shot of me and Nathanja with an elephant strolling some thirty feet behind us!*)

Just an African elephant walking along.....oh my gosh, pinch me that was SO AWESOME!!!

That night we enjoyed dinner together at the restaurant again and ended the evening with smores over a fire....

... and one last trip down to the watering hole at night. The first night we went down there with our flash lights and shined them across the water to see if any eyes would glow back at us in the darkness.

Sure enough...the banks were alive with eyes. Kind of unsettling to know that there are unseen animals moving about all around you and you can't see them. But we couldn't make out what was at the water as the flash lights weren't strong enough to light the land. So this was all we saw, just pairs of red and green eyes scattered all around us. I was determined to figure out what was out there though. I didn't have my tripod so I balanced my camera on the viewing areas brick ledge and used my remote to take some long exposures. With it being pitch black all around and only a small flash light to dimly light the area directly across from us, and the animals moving back and forth, this was the best shot I got.....

From what I can tell those appear to be either some kind of deer, or a type of hyena. Or both. Or neither. That is definitely an alligator walking into the water.

It was an eventful day to say the least. And despite the fact that it was hot, the girls fell asleep quickly. It helped that we soaked one of my scarves in water and laid it on them to help keep them cool. But with all the excitement they wore themselves out and slept pretty soundly.

On Sunday morning as we were packing up the cars to head home, someone noticed a money in the trees above our car.  No doubt scouting out prospective goods. After a few minutes he jumped down as many more of his companions joined him. So Nathanja grabbed a banana and threw one onto the road and another onto the watering hole path. This little guy was brave to venture out close enough to grab the banana! He's so cute! And probably totally viscous!

Before we left I walked back to the watering hole one last time to revel in the beauty of my surroundings and reflect on the last two days....

It was a very humbling weekend in every aspect....

....just seeing animals in this state filled me with so much awe. It was glorious. And humbling. God is so creative. I would just look at the elephants and think, "What an amazing creature. Look at those eyes and massive ears! What is up with the weird trunk?! What a creative God I serve!" I mean, all the different species of animals and reptiles and birds gathered in one place....it was a constant "wow" moment. Constantly filled with awe. Constantly standing in amazement for the creative mind behind their Maker.

And the accommodations. Speaking with Rhyan who has been on safaris in other African countries I inquired if this was typical living conditions in his experience. The short answer, no. This is Burkina's conditions. When he traveled to Namibia he stayed in a beautiful resort and was greeted with champagne. Not the case in Burkina. This country is poor in every physical way. Even at one of the top tourist destinations in the country, the reality of this land stricken with poverty is there to greet you.

And then the heat. Maybe one of the most humbling aspects of this weekend. The fact that I live in a home provided and paid for by the Embassy with a generator and ac units in every room is not lost on me. We have a pool in our back yard to jump into. I know what we have. I do not take it lightly. I know that it's a gift. And I know that most of the people in my life here do not have the luxury of having a working generator when the power gets cut and they must endure the oppressive heat for hours on end in a home with no a.c. or fans. I know what God has blessed us with here. And when I was laying in bed that first night, staring up at the ceiling in the dark room, so hot, no relief in site, the Lord just spoke so much truth and encouragement to me in those hours. Because the reality is that there was relief in site. Come Sunday I would be traveling back to my a.c. filled home. But the other 99% of people in this country have no such reality. They live day in and day out expected to suffer through the heat. They live in huts or little brick homes with no electricity. No running water. Most people have to walk quite far each and every day, in the heat, to bring back water. They don't have a shower to turn on to stick their hair in to cool off. I see them working outside. I see them standing by the road for hours on end selling brochettes and phone cards. I see them pumping water. I see them walking. I see them peddling on a bike with kids fastened to their backs. I see them huddled under trees with the shade being their only form of relief. And for two days and two nights....I felt the weight of what that feels like. And it's not easy.

It's actually really hard. But I was grateful for it. To be stripped down once again and be given a taste of life here for most of the people in this country was a really good humbling. Which, after living in a constant state of humility since moving here I'm finding I don't mind so much. I'm finding that it's good for the soul to be taken low. And I've been taken lower than I ever have been since moving here.

It was an incredible weekend. Just incredible. I feel so blessed to have made so many memories. To have enjoyed so much. To have seen so much. Blessed for the time to experience the up close, unhindered, in your face, life in the wild with my family. For the relationships my girls are making with new friends. For the magazines I brought that Bekah sent me in the mail. For the monster marshmallows that Aunt Lisa sent that we were able to use to roast on the fire. For the memory of the unexpected animal we spotted in the brush at night and thought was a raccoon until it stood up and walked away and we ran back yelling because raccoons don't get that big and hairy. For the opportunity to bring Chloe here before she returned to England. Getting stranded in the bush. Seeing God's provision to help to bring the busted car home. For the games played. For all the hilarious conversations around the campfire. For the laughter. The food. The rain.

But mostly just feeling blessed beyond words to have gotten to spend it with these amazing people.....

 (Megan and Matt, Isaak, Fred and Nathanja with Jake and Jonah, Sydaleigh, Rhyan and Nicole with Gannon and Harrison, Marvelly, Chloe, Joanna, and me- March 3rd, 2013, Nazinga.)