Reflecting on our first month back in the U.S. with words....

I started writing this while in the hospital with Steven last week. When I started writing this we were at 21 days back in the U.S., but I didn't have time to finish this post then....so now it's eight days later, and here I am, still trying to update on our life's events here this past month.

And what a month it's been so far. Life has been moving fast since we returned. We have found ourselves in many stressful situations but also benefited from some moments of rest in the midst of it.

For that we are thankful.

While I was at the hospital I wrote this one morning....

"We are still at the hospital, which is pas bon. But we should be leaving soon...which is bon. Also on the upside, Steven has gotten two nights of really good sleep so he is well rested and in good spirits. I, on the other hand am feeling quite tired, which is also pas bon. I tried sleeping on the pleather rocking chair last night in hopes of it offering a better nights sleep than the pull out chair...but I was mistaken. It did not. The vent pushing out icy cold air on top of me all night long didn't help either. Nor did the distressed little girl scream crying for hours in the middle of the night right next door to us. Poor thing. I felt so bad for that family last night...while also very selfishly feeling bad for me because I was tired and again couldn't sleep because of her screaming. The tug of heart that happens when you are feeling both compassion and irritation simultaneously...Romans 7:21-23 comes to mind right about now...I think Paul can relate to my struggle.....

But I was reminded last night when I was tempted to complain and get frustrated and throw a rockin' pity party due to my less than ideal sleeping accommodations...is that this cold room and this reclinable rocking chair is more comfortable than sleeping on a nat on the ground of a dusty mud brick home. It is more comfortable than sleeping on an airplane seat. It is more comfortable than sleeping in a hard back chair in a clinic in Ouaga filled with mosquitos. I may have been shivering cold but it's more comfortable than the 14 hour power cuts and water cuts affecting almost the whole city of Ouagadougou currently due to lack of fuel and power. All situations that many many people I know are at this very moment having to endure."

Perspective is a great antidote for self pity.  (I'm just gonna give myself an "Amen!" on that one.)

I am not perfect. I don't act perfect or think perfect, but I've learned some things along the way in this life of mine...and this one has been key. Like I said, perceptive is a great antidote for self pity, which I am very prone to indulging in at times. =) So having some good proper shifting of perspective has served me well these last few years and definitely since returning back stateside. Keeps me focused on the right things and helps keep me from becoming overwhelmed by life's challenges and stresses.

Speaking of life, here is a rundown on our first month back....

-our first night back the hotel informed us they messed up our reservation and could not give us a pet friendly room that we requested and said we'd have to kennel our cat the duration of our time on base. Umm, nooo. I will not kennel my cat because of your mistake. So, we've had to be super careful about keeping our cat's presence here a secret (making me a bit worrisome because if they find out they'll kick us out.) Which means not allowing housekeeping into our room the entire time we've been here! I think they are growing suspicious, as I've had the "do not disturb" sign in place since we've got here. I heard (and saw through my peep hole-I may be slightly paranoid when they're outside my room that they are going to try to come in anyways or look through my garbage and discover the kitty litter in there....what can I say, a part of me still thinks I'm in Burkina and people are going to go through my garbage). Anyways, two workers were outside my room saying, "think we'll get in there on Monday?" "I don't know, she won't take the card outta the slot." They know somethin's up. Thankfully only three more days to go until this stress is gone and they can come in here and clean to their hearts content! (for the record, they will be very surprised to see that I have maintained a very tidy and clean space without their help. Thankfully we have a washer and dryer to clean all our stuff, and also a vacuum (that we ordered and shipped to my brother while in Burkina, that we expected to use for our new house...but is now serving us well in the hotel!)

-speaking of our home....upon returning to the states we realized the home we were under contract to purchase, the one we were buying site unseen from Burkina (*note to self-don't e.ver try to buy a home site unseen again...too risky)......was in fact not going to work for our family. Major major major disappointment.

-after a lot of thought and prayer we decided to terminated our contract on that home (five days before closing, yup, we did that) and start the house hunting process over. We lost money (no one likes to forfeit money) which was a downer but it was ultimately the right decision and we had complete peace.

-due to the fact that we were initially so sure about this home and since it was so close to our closing date we started using this address for mailing purposes (*note to self....don't be this dumb again!)...and had Steven's citizenship certificate mailed there (major DOH! moment right there). We may have to go stalk their mailbox now to retrieve that incredibly important piece of paper...in the event they don't rip it to shreds out of spite...which is a real possibility....

-since we wouldn't be living in that home we had to inform the school district the girls were zoned to attend that they would no longer be attending that school

-without a home in the works we could no longer register the girls to go to any school, which was a problem as there was still six weeks left in the school year and they needed to enroll in a school in order to finish the year and move onto the next grade

-started looking into alternative means of schooling for the girls but neither private schools, homeschool, or virtual schools were not an option at this point

-we've had many appointments at Walter Reed for Steve already (driving in D.C. is for sure gonna make my hair turn gray)

-we started house hunting again....this time in person. We toured many homes and found one that we really liked in a great neighborhood and a great school district and put an offer in on it

-a week after we terminated our contract on home #1 we received a call from our realtor saying the owners of home #1 refused to sign our termination contract and were threatening us with a lawsuit if we didn't move forward with the purchase. That was stressful. Less than two weeks of being in the U.S. and someone was already threatening to sue us. Freakin' sue happy Americans.

-the day after we received that unfortunate news we were informed that the bank accepted our offer on the new home (it was a foreclosure...diamond in the rough style foreclosure....but it can definitely be a sparkly diamond again. Renovation here we come!....*cue nervous laugh....*)

-I was informed the following day that we would be allowed to enroll the girls in school if we could provide documentation with our future home address to establish temporary residency...hallelujah!

-that weekend we traveled to Delaware to visit Jordan and Becca! It was also Isaak's birthday!

-when we returned from Delaware on Sunday Steve got very very sick

-the following day me and the girls spent a few hours getting them enrolled at their new school (holy mother of paperwork!)

-when I returned that afternoon Steve's health was getting more concerning and his doctors advised us to take him to the emergency room, so off Steve and Isaak went to the ER

-Steve was transferred that night via ambulance to Walter Reed with Isaak in tow.

-the next morning I took the girls to their first day of school, met our house inspector at our hopeful new home for the four hour house inspection ( I said it was a diamond in the rough...there's just a bit more rough than diamond at this point)....and then on the way home from picking up the girls we drove straight to Walter Reed so I could stay with Steve and Isaak could return to work

-Isaak took care of the girls for the next few days and went to work while I stayed at the hospital with Steven

-while in the hospital I found out that the owners of house #1 signed our termination contract and re-listed their home, so we should not be hearing from them again about a lawsuit....that was a welcome relief

-the day after Steve was discharged from the hospital we drove to Richmond to spend two days with family for Memorial weekend

-since we're staying on base but the girls are going to school in the town we're set to move to, I have been driving 2hour20minutes every single day to transport the girls to and from school....that is a lot of driving....and gas money

-this week we were told that our hotel on base did not approve our extension request to stay here longer so we have to leave on Monday, as our standard 31 days is up (and since the home we're buying is a foreclosure the bank is making us wait 45 days instead of the standard 30 until settlement) so on Monday we have to move somewhere else.

-trying to find a short term one month rental in this particular area near the girls school this time of year has proven impossible. They are all booked clear until September or cost $3000 a week as this is a recreational/resort area

-on Wednesday Isaak found one place available to rent until the girls finish school mid June. That's a huge praise. Downside is there is no internet there (I will survive. I hit up the library this morning to stock up on some books.) Another downside is it's waaaay further south and my driving time will increase to 4 hours (deep breaths) every day to bring the girls to and from school... (there may not be any money left to bring the sparkle back to our house because we're going to deplete our bank account on GAS! Holy moly.)

-at least it's only for 19 days though. Because once the girls finish school we're going to have to find someplace else to stay until we close on our home. I don't know where that will be yet. I am not thinking about that yet. One day/week at a time right now.

-That will put us in three temporary homes in two months. Wowzers.

-also somewhere in all of this we bought another vehicle, minivan #2

-rewind to minivan #1 that we bought over the phone while still in Burkina (*note to self-stop buying stuff like cars and houses while living in another country!) Turns out when we went to register it a couple weeks ago, we couldn't, due to problems with the paperwork and then the tags ended up expiring, so we couldn't drive it, so when we drove to Richmond this past weekend we tried to schedule an appointment with the dealership to rectify the situation, but they were closed for the holidays, so they sent us the paperwork this week to our PO Box on base (thank goodness we have some kind of address) and thanks to some handy forgery on my part of my mom's signature on the title (permission received) we were able to register minivan #1 today! and get non expired non temporary plates for it.

This is the latest in the whirlwind of crazy we've found ourselves in since returning. All of this while dealing with a heavy dose of reverse culture shock (which is very real and I have no shame and no pride in admitting that I have struggled with this since returning).

Not all of it has been stressful. Lots of it has...just trying to juggle all the details of life and living and housing and paperwork and school and sickness and dr.'s appointments and how to function here again in the midst of it all.

But we're doing okay. We're making it. Trying to keep a good perspective on our circumstances. We're hanging in there and making the best out of life and finding moments to laugh and smile and rejoice. But we are more than ready to settle and find a new normal and not be living out of suitcases anymore. We are ready to figure out what life is really going to look like for us here when the crazy starts to mellow out and life becomes a little more predictable and we have a routine that doesn't involve spending heinous amounts of hours in the car driving every day. =)

But in the meantime we're just kinda riding the waves...waiting to reach the shore.....

Steven's in the hospital....

Our poor little guy got pretty sick Sunday evening after we returned from visiting Jordan and Becca in Delaware. He had been battling some cold/allergy type symptoms for a few days with watery eyes, runny nose, sneezing and cough. But by Sunday evening he spiked a pretty high fever and that night and following Monday morning his fever had failed to reduce lower than 102.5 and respond to medicine and by mid afternoon Monday morning it was at 104.3 and climbing, so we were advised by his specialists to bring him to the ER right away. Steve was feeling pretty bad and him and Isaak were kept at the ER as they ran tests for ten hours until they eventually transferred him to Walter Reed for closer monitoring and additional testing. 

Poor guy in the ER....

Thankfully Isaak was able to stay with him Monday through Tuesday afternoon, and then I arrived and relieved him so he could go to work. 

Tuesday late afternoon when I finally arrived Steven was feeling a bit better. I brought a few more toys to help occupy his time. So I let him out of his bed for a while and we kicked a ball around the room and played some soccer, and then had an impromptu dance party on his keyboard. We had a good time. I think he was glad just to be out of bed! It's not easy for a five year old to be confined to bed all day. After two nights of feeling terrible and a fit full nights sleep, Steve slept the whole night through and got a great night's rest (I wish I could say the same but that pull out chair was painfully lumpy and by 4:45am I gave up on trying to sleep. There is a rocking chair that I have my sights set on for tonight though, hoping it will offer a bit more comfort!).

Me and Stevie boy will be up here the next two days while the doctors await the rest of his tests to return. He has an infection of some kind, somewhere in his body. But they have yet to narrow down exactly what and where it is. So hopefully they will be able to determine exactly what is going on in the next day so we can get home soon!

Mother's Day today

I celebrated a very happy Mother's Day today. I woke up to flowers, chocolate, and cards waiting for me at the kitchen table. The kids helped with a few chores around the hotel room afterwards and then we headed to a matinee showing of....Cinderella! Happiness! We had been waiting to see this movie since we first saw the teaser trailer many many months ago and it was everything we new it would be! So beautiful. I love Disney. These awesome recliner chairs in the theater were pretty spiffy too.

We followed the movie with yummy $5 Little Cesar's pizza, my fave!

And then I took some time to go to the gym (felt so good!) and then we went to a nearby playground for a while where we found this little bridge and spent some time throwing sticks into the water and just enjoying the greenness of it all and romping and climbing all over the equipment together.

I ended the night getting a "bananacure" from Marvelly as she painted my nails with water and toilet paper, applied excessive amounts of lip gloss to my lips, and squirted water on my head with a plastic tooth syringe and then combed it out.

A great day being a mom. Honored that I get to do life with these kids! They bless me and I thoroughly enjoy their presence and company so very much. They make this role of motherhood so wonderful and surprising and stressful and joy filled each and every day. =) It is a great privilege to be their Momma (Marvelly), Mom (Sydaleigh), and Mommy (Steven.)

Saying goodbye to Yako

The little city of Yako, a very small town about two hours northwest of Ouagadougou was a favorite place of ours while living in Burkina Faso. Oh, how we have loved traveling there! I am really going to miss our time there. For so many reasons.

Yako is a very special place to us. In addition to that being the city we met and spent time with Steven prior to bringing him home, we would also go up there to spend time with Mike and Amy who developed into such dear friends of ours these last few years. And going up to Yako to visit with them and partake in their ministry serving the people of their community was the sweetest joy for us during our time in Burkina.

We first got acquainted with Mike and Amy before we ever moved to Burkina Faso. My sweet friend Kelly was actually instrumental in connecting us. While Kelly was on a trip back to S. Florida to visit her parents she was at church on a Sunday morning and Mike and Amy happen to be there giving an update to the church while on a break from the field. When Kelly heard that they were missionaries in Burkina Faso she lovingly stalked them after the service and obtained their contact information and sent it to me straight away. Gotta love good friends. =) I'll be forever grateful to her for following the Lord's leading and approaching them that day.

I love that before we ever moved to Burkina Faso God was orchestrating people to be a part of our journey here. And also connecting us with others who not only have a heart for Him but people who we could foster relationships with while living overseas. What an amazing blessing that is!

So, needless to say, upon receiving Mike and Amy's contact info I contacted them immediately. We emailed back and forth for quite a while before we left the States, and upon arriving in Ouagadougou we met them just three days later.

And that was the beginning of a very wonderful friendship with two people we've grown to love over these last few years.

Upon getting to know Mike and Amy, we came to find out they are actually from the same city in South Florida that me and Isaak lived in while stationed there, and we even went to the same church at one point. Small world for sure!

All the little villages dotting the landscape as we drove through the country to get to Yako.

Inside the guest house 

The local church they attended

Les Ailes de Refuge was a totally different place when we arrived in Burkina in 2012. This small "baby cage" was the only place all the children at the orphanage had to play and spend their days. The cooks had a small place outside to cook up meals for the kids, and the children would sit on a wooden bench at a small table with only room for eight, while the rest sat on the ground to eat their daily meals. But Mike and Amy are motivated, intentional about their work, and absolute visionaries. They have transformed this property and their ministry here, improved it and expanded it in every capacity.

They now have this fantastic area for the older kids to play, complete with a built in slide and play house as well as room for bikes and toys of all kinds.

     

SO many people partnered with us these few years so that we could serve Mike and Amy and their ministry here. Many friends and family sent us toys, cloth diapers, wipes, hygiene products, clothes, you name.

And through our affiliation with Mike and Amy in Yako we were able to invite other people living and working in Burkina Faso to partner alongside them as well.

Through a simple introduction at an embassy event we were able to connect Ruth with a group of military guys serving in Ouaga on TDY. They came to Yako many many times to do hard manual labor as well as play with the children. They were a HUGE blessing to Mike and Amy!

So incredible what God can do! Through a simple introduction and an invitation to friends He was able to not only bless Mike and Amy and their ministry but also use others to serve Him. Never, ever, ever underestimate simple obedience to the Lord. What seems small to us can have far reaching effects for His kingdom!

Mike took us fishing one day. It was really sunny. Really hot. Really windy. And really dusty. But I didn't care. I was happy to be out here, watching the kids try to fish with bread for bait. Watching Mike cast his net into the water over and over again. Watching Steve and Moise dump water on themselves to stay cool. Listening to the crowd of kids behind us laugh every time the girls ran up with a fish.

always being watched....always. 

Steven and Moise playing.

This fantastic baobob treee. Eleven people stood inside that tree at the same time.

Here we are inside the tree to prove it! 

And through our initial relationship with Mike and Amy we soon became acquainted with Ruth, the founder of Sheltering Wings who was also living in Yako at the time. She has since relocated to Kimini in southwestern Burkina to expand their ministry further. Ruth has also become very near and dear to our hearts. She is so wise and full of experience and love for this country. She is tender but tough as nails. This woman lives in the middle of a remote village with no electricity or running water at an age where many of her peers have entered into their "retirement". But not Ruth. She's still out there working for the Lord, advocating for orphans, starting new ministries, running sponsorship programs, making herself available to be used by the Lord to make a great as impact as possible for His kingdom and glory. She has taught us so much and walked with us and advocated for us during our entire adoption process. It has been such a joy just sitting around our table getting to talk with her and know her better. She is an incredible person, and I am blessed to know such a godly woman and call her friend.

This town holds a very special place in our hearts and we will miss it dearly. 

Re-entry thoughts...five days back

I used a dishwasher yesterday, for the first time in over four years. And I was immediately reminded of why I stopped using a dishwasher when we lived in Nebraska....because they do not clean. So, it is now serving as a nice drying rack for all the dishes I'm accustomed to hand washing.

I went to the commissary on base today, my first grocery store, for the first time. I couldn't quite think straight. All that food. Grocery stores are hard for me. I don't really know where to start, or what to look for when I'm in there. Because there's just so much. It's a lot to take it. I don't understand how there can be this much food in one place. There was over 12 different kinds of Ego waffles. It's just, all there. So much of everything. So much cheese. So much food. Six days ago I was back in Burkina and there was no bread at Bingos. Now I can buy twenty different kinds of bread. How did I get back here? Just like that. A plane ride. And we are here. I had to turn my mind off and just get what I came for. I bought exactly twenty one items. They all fit nicely into a little basket. Except it was one too many items for the express lane. So I had to use the regular lane. And when the gentleman helped me push my groceries to my car he waited with his hand out for me to tip him. He wanted a tip. Huh.

I went to the library this morning too. I took the kids to get some books. And I happen to arrive at story time. So the place was filled with mommies and strollers and lots of kids. I was looking for a video to rent and a mommy standing next to me was gushing to her friend about how fat her baby is and how she is growing so much and is wearing 24 month clothes already. She wowed back, clearly impressed. I didn't tell her that my son is five and wears 24 month old pants. And afterwards when we were walking to the car there was a group of mommies with their kids and their strollers huddled under a tree by a picnic table. I watched them as I walked by. Feeling nothing.

I drove to the gas station. This big gas station with lots of pumps. It was nice and clean. No one was loitering outside and jamming their hands inside my window trying to sell me minutes or asking me for money. It was very quiet. Very clean. No motos trying to maneuver their way in front of me to the one working pump. It was very tame. Very.....quiet. It's so different here.

I had to drive through D.C. traffic yesterday. I drove 26 miles and it took 1 hour and 40 minutes for us to get home (very thankful I won't have to deal with D.C. traffic often!) There were just so many cars. A sea of cars, as fas as the eye could see. There was no getting away from it. But despite the congestion and massive amounts of vehicles on the road...driving here is orderly. People drive three feet away from each other at 70 miles and hour. There are white lanes and shoulders and off ramps and HOV lanes and sidewalks and working traffic lights that everyone obeys. So when the crotch rocket blasted past me with the rider doing a wheelie at 70 miles an hour and started zig zagging in and out of traffic....it's no wonder why driving here makes me anxious. It's so orderly. You don't expect people to act crazy and drive however they want here. You can let your guard down a little bit, turn on the cruise control, turn up the music and relax.  In Burkina you can never let your guard down. You have to be ultra observant all the time. Taking into account cars, motor, bicycles, bush taxis, walkers of all ages, donkey carts, cows, chickens, goats, sheep, pot holes, no working lights or signs at intersections. The roads are crazy and people drive crazy and you go out and expect it to be crazy and you drive accordingly and you don't get mad or anxious ( I didn't) when you are surprised or someone or something does something unexpected, because you are always prepared for the unexpected. As best as one can be. I liked that. I did well with that. I don't like the driving here.

Isaak made eggs for dinner last night. I think those were the biggest eggs I've ever seen. I don't remember eggs being this big before we left. Maybe they were? I didn't want to eat them, though, because eggs should not be that big. I mean, these were unnaturally big. I really don't think it's normal for eggs to be so large....I miss normal sized eggs.

I couldn't figure out how to turn the windshield wipers off in our car yesterday...so I just drove around with them on. Front and back. What can I say, it's a new car (new for us). Thankfully Isaak showed me how to turn them off so that I don't look like a weirdo driving around with my wipers on when it's not raining. I also plowed over a median with the car right before I realized I couldn't get my wipers off. This freakin' van....the front is so gosh darn big I can't see anything! How am I suppose to drive a minivan again? Ugh, I miss my Jeep.

It rained yesterday, for a little bit in the evening. We were walking to the hotel and it was raining, nice and soft. Except I didn't care. I wanted to care and be excited and jump for joy like in Burkina. But it doesn't feel the same.....

We had to drive to Richmond on Saturday, the morning after we landed to bring my mom to her car. We got on the road shortly before lunch time, and everyone was hungry, so we pulled into a Taco Bell and had food in two minutes. Two. Minutes. Like, literally two minutes......the fact that you can get food that fast and can show up at any restaurant and get food whenever you want is just crazy. We ate at a McDonald's that was open 24 hours. Food is available twenty four hours a day. I can just, not wrap my head around the luxury of it all. It's so convenient, so easy.

We visited our house on Monday. We got to walk though it in person for the first time. And after we left both me and Isaak started having some serious doubts about whether this was the house we were suppose to buy. Not exactly great timing since we're suppose to close on it in seven days. So, we are spending most of the day tomorrow looking at different houses with our realtor, just to be sure we're making the right choice. To say this is stressful would be an understatement. I can't get the kids registered for school until we know where we're going to live. Time's a tickin'. It's hard to deal with this, on top of the jet lag, and readjusting to life here. And not feeling qualified to drive a minivan anymore apparently.

Isaak started work bright and early on Monday morning. No time off. No break to get situated. It's how the military rolls. Gotta love it. Also, Steve had his first doctor's appointment yesterday...which is why we were driving back from D.C. during rush hour. Isaak set us up with a po box temporarily until we get settled, somewhere. We got Steve registered for a SSN now that he is recognized as a legit American...thank you immigration.

It's been busy. Very very busy. And stressful. It's just so different here. Life is so different. Hardly the same at all. I need to keep reminding myself that different isn't bad, or wrong, it's just different. The same advice I spoke over myself when adjusting to life in Burkina. It's just gonna take a while to adjust back, to how things used to be. If they ever do. 

I will say it has been really beautiful watching the girls rediscover simple joys about America. On Sunday they rolled down a hill over and over and over again (grass!) and roamed through a little patch of grass picking up dandelions. They haven't seen dandelions in a few years. And then Sydaleigh found a "helicopter" in the grass and picked it up and said, " hey! I remember these!" And threw it in the air and watched it spin back to earth. We've gotten to roll the windows down in the car and breathe in the cool fresh air. It feels so good to ride in the car with the windows down again. Driving with the windows down, grass, dandelions, "helicopters"...simply pleasures to find joy and peace in....I'll take it. Sometimes the simplest pleasures are the greatest pleasures. That is a big lesson I have come to learn. And one that I'm holding tight to in the midst of adjusting and the stress of re-entry and figuring life out and all the details that go into starting over.

But we're doing okay. I just feel like I'm in this weird twilight zone right now. Neither here nor there. Not connected to either place I used to live anymore. Just, floating somewhere in the middle.

But it's only been five days....I'm confident that I won't be floating forever. I just need some time to figure out where to land......

Not finished yet...

I still have things to say that haven't been said. I still have photos to post and memories to document. I tried to carve out time in our last weeks in Burkina to post everything about our lives there before we left, but in the chaos of moving, I didn't have the time I thought I would.

For some reason, I thought that I had to write everything I wanted to say about Burkina by the time we left. Because once we left, then it would be too late. That's what I kept telling myself. How silly. Not sure why I make up these silly rules for myself.

But, when it came to sitting around on the computer writing posts or spending time with the people we care about in the short amount of time we had left....well, there was no question what I was going to be investing in. The posts could wait....our people couldn't. No regrets there. =)

So now that we are back in the U.S., I am faced with the task of sharing the rest of our stories and moments for memories sake.

Hopefully in the next ten days we are in this hotel before we close on our house (!!!!) I will have some extra time to document some more stories.....

We are back in the U.S.

We left Burkina Faso yesterday. We are now resting comfortably back in the U.S. after 27 hours of travel. We left our home yesterday at 5:15pm to head to the airport and made it to Air Force TLF lodging tonight at 8:30pm. I think we encountered every single delay possible in getting here. But alas, we are here. 

Its been a very long, hard, and emotionally draining past two days for everyone. This has not been an easy goodbye....definitely the hardest we have ever had to make.

I found this note in the bathroom tonight as I was getting ready for bed......

Sydaleigh wrote this. I know girl. Mommy knows. I want to go back too. Trusting God to carry us right now as we all begin the long process of adjusting to our life away from Burkina Faso and begin to learn new normals all over again. Im trying to encourage them that while we will always want to go back, and those feelings are normal and may never go away and it's okay to feel that way...we won't always be this sad. They're not buying it though. Everyone is pretty raw right now. It's too soon for them to be convinced that they will feel any different someday. They just keep telling me, "we want to go home. We want to go back to Burkina. To Africa. To our home."

Oh my heart. This is not an easy goodbye. Trusting the Lord right now to heal all our hurts and mend all our sadness and fill us with joy as we look to the future.