Adoption-ISM

(ISM standing for Information Sharing Meeting. )

There were not really any expectations leading up to Monday's meeting.
It was mandatory.
If we wanted to proceed with the adoption process we needed to attend.
I did as much background homework as I could so that I didn't get blindsided with the unexpected.
So we drove an hour down to Lincoln for what would be the first in a long line of hoops we had to jump through.

The room was full as we got there right at 7pm. I tried not to noticeably stare at the people already seated so I did a quick scan of the room as we made our way to the front.
There were between 15-20 other couples in attendance, ranging in age from what looked like early 20's to late 40's early 50's.
No one spoke above a whisper and only to the partner next to them.
This was clearly not a crowd that intended on being social.
So we took an empty seat and did like the rest of the group, sat quietly, looked over our paperwork we picked up on the way in...and waited to start.
The feeling as we waited was somber.
Deafeningly quiet.
The one thing I kept thinking is how different this is from having a child the conventional way, with privacy.
There is not much privacy here.
You are exposed.
raw.
vulnerable.
Whether you are battling infertility, or simply hope to give an unwanted child a home like me and Isaak, you're all there with the same intention.
We all desire a child.
And that alone makes you vulnerable, regardless of the circumstances that brought each of us there.

The meeting was exactly what is sounded like, an information sharing meeting.
Our first formal introduction to the Nebraska Childrens Home, their history, programs, run down of what the adoption process entails in Nebraska, that kind of thing.
We received a ton of information, some we knew already, some we were hearing for the first time.
But the process is very long.
The next step after Monday night is paperwork,
then an interview with a social worker,
then a two day 16 hour parenting workshop (geared towards couples with no kids, but me and Isaak still have to attend)
more paperwork
being assigned a permanent case worker
starting our home case study which entails 5 background checks,
more interviews,
more paperwork,
references,
more interviews...

and then once that is complete, which could take as long as 6+ months,
we are finally put in the waiting pool.
And then......only God knows how long we wait.

It seems like a lot to go through.
Well, no, it IS a lot to go through.
And if I'm being honest, I'm not looking forward to any of it.
However; we are looking forward to the day when all the paperwork, interviews, and background checks result in a baby being carried through our doors.
That's why we're doing this.
That's what makes all this worth while.
Knowing that somewhere out there, there is a soon to be mom, about to get pregnant, scared, alone, not sure what to do- she is going to make the hardest decision of her life, and trust us with her baby to love as our own.

That's my motivation.

I'm praying for you, whoever you are, wherever you may be. I love you for the sacrifice you are going to make, that you may not even know yet. I pray that you would not feel helpless or overwhelmed during this time in your life. I look forward to meeting you, and God willing, getting the chance to know you, hold your hand, speak love and encouragement into your life...not because you are going to trust me with your child, but because you too are a child of God, valuable and important, and worthy to be loved, just like your baby. Blessings and prayers being sent your way sweet momma....

Getting back on track

I have been so incredibly bad at updating my blog!
I have so much going on right now it's hard for even me to keep track.
Seriously, if I do not write down what I need to get done, on a 'to do' list, it will never get done.
It will completely slink away from my consciousness as if I never thought to do it.
It's gotten so bad that I have to remind myself just to write a 'to do' list.
Thank goodness vacation is coming up!
My family needs a break, to regroup, get refreshed, do nothing but have fun and spend time together. We are looking forward to next Saturday so much. Not so much looking forward to the drive out to Hilton Head, but, we will survive it.
This upcoming week is crazy busy.

Monday we have our first adoption meeting down in Lincoln. I'm excited, but it still doesn't feel real yet, so the excitement is still somewhat at bay. I am fully expecting to start crying as we pull into the parking lot, being hit with the reality of what we're about to do. We are both looking forward to Monday. Isaak told me yesterday that a girl in the clinic brought in her new baby boy for everyone to see, and he had an overwhelming urge to pick up the baby and hold him. Of course he didn't, but that touched my heart in such a huge way. Isaak went from being a man who was dead set on never having more than two kids...to wanting to adopt a third...to seeing a baby in a car seat that wasn't his and wanting to hold him. God has done a work on that man! And I've got to see it all play out.

Thursday is my BIRTHDAY! Whoop whoop! I am probably looking forward to this birthday more than any other...because it's not just my birthday, it's the opening night of New Moon! I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. And I had to start rereading to first two installments before the big day, which lends to the reason why I can't stop thinking about it. Of course I already have my birthday/New Moon outfit all planned out, all the final plans for the night are coming together, and I get to go with my favorite leading ladies. It going to be complete madness and it's going to be FAB.u.lous!

And then Saturday night at 3am, which is technically considered Sunday morning, although, I have no clue how 3am could be considered "morning" in any way shape or form, we are headed to Augusta for 1.5 days, then over and up to Hilton Head for 4 days, and then down to Disney World for another 6, followed by a three day trip back home. It sounds like a lot, but I'm telling myself it's not to avoid the hysteria that may come from realizing what we are about to embark on over the course of the next 17 days. So it's better if I just tell myself, "it only sounds like a lot".

I have managed to nearly finish all of my work projects before I leave. I busted out a ton of work this past week so that I didn't have anything lingering while I was away-so now I can truly vacation in peace. Ahhhh.

But before Monday rolls around and I have to get serious about packing and all the mayhem that will accompany it, I am going to take tonight to sit on the couch, catch up on the past two episodes of Project Runway, while finishing our Operation Christmas Child presents, and then sink into New Moon to finish off my night.

Fall beauties

I photographed some beautimous girls yesterday, mine included, for a little Fall photo shoot.
Check out www.mjsphotoshoppe.com for some seriously adorable pictures!

kind of Senoritas

well I tried.
We were eating at Guaca Maya for dinner the week before Halloween and Sydaleigh was enthralled with all the beautiful waitresses in their senorita garb. So I figured that would be an easy enough outfit for Halloween. They turned out....so so. I'm not a person that puts a considerable amount of effort into costumes because, well, it's Halloween. But Sydaleigh adored her skirt, because it was a skirt. She is into anything long and flowey right now, and probably forever. :) We met up with friends before the kids hit the streets for chili and had a ball. It was a fun night and we'll likely be bringing the remaining candy to Hilton Head-only three weeks away!!