(I don't do short and brief-this post is long and detailed...so I don't forget)
What started out as an idea, a very far fetched, never gonna happen, but fun to think about kind of idea-turned into
this last Saturday...
I finally succumbed to tears Friday afternoon. I looked around my living room, knew there was nothing else to do, practice, plan for, it had all been done, covered a million times, prayed for a million times-now, it was time to pack up, and wait for tomorrow. Saturday was only one more tomorrow away, and that in itself brought me to tears.
"Let my life sow seed to You Lord"
That phrase has been heavy on my heart and the song Lifesong by Casting Crowns was my anthem going into this project....this Portrait Project is a testimony of what God can do with a willing heart...and from a (finally) willing heart God made this project more than I ever imagined it would be.
Originally the Portrait Project was only going to be offered to families living in shelters, battling homelessness, as an opportunity to shed some light in the dark areas of their life, a little 'pick me up' blessing, nothing needed, just a little bit of extra.
From that
original plan, God took the reigns again, did a little tweaking, and now the project was going to be offered to men, women,
and families living in shelters; battling homelessness, poverty, abuse and addiction, who are in rehabilitation programs fighting to turn their lives around.
God never lets us bite off more than we can chew.
I was
suppose to photograph around five people graduating their rehab programs on Saturday but that number more than tripled and turned into 18.
Again-God never lets us bite off more than we can chew.
Saturday arrived, cars were packed, we're on our way....
As we drove up the final road to the mission on Saturday I had my eyes on the building and Kaycee asked me, "Are you nervous?"...
Looking straight ahead I replied, "I feel like I have to go pee, so yeah, I'm starting to get nervous." (I always know when my nerves start to creep in because I feel like I have to pee, but I know I don't because I went before we left...some people feel sick, I feel the pee coming on (??????))
Ronda the assistant director (love her!) met us in the parking lot to help unload and was taken aback by all the stuff we brought (two SUV's worth). I don't know what her expectations were for that day, but she told us we surpassed them. Praise you Lord.
As soon as I walked into the chapel where I wanted to shoot, I stopped, looked around for a minute, and there it hit me....
"ahhhhhhhhhhh", that good ole peace, there's nothing like it in all the earth-it blanketed me like a warm fur coat had been draped over my whole body.
I had my peace. Nerves vanished.
I unzipped my 50lb bag of equipment and immediately plugged in the Ipod, put on some tunes, stood for a minute watching Becky break it down, Holly and Kaycee were zipping to and fro, and there He was again, at my ear this time,
"Look, you're not alone",
I had to smile, and say Praise you Lord.
It was time to set up.
I got out my lights and was preparing to attach the flash head unit to the light stand.
Couldn't attach it.
Wouldn't screw in.
I could feel myself start to get flustered internally...
Tried over and over, couldn't get it right, couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong this time...
"If I can't set up my equipment, I can't take their pictures!"...
Then came His assurance,
"Take a deep breath, try again...You can do this, all of this"From that moment on I was home.
I just love the homey feeling that you get when you know you're exactly where God's called you to be.
It's like an old shoe that fits
just right.
A few more minutes and we were good to go. My support was all there. Kara, Kristine and Becky were in the side room prepping the women and kids, touching up hair and make up, chatting it up and connecting with the families; Holly and Kaycee were with me, taking names, moving props, adjusting lighting, posing, and making everyone feel comfortable.
Everyone cooperated, was patient and polite.
Everyone stood out to me.
Some were comfortable, some timid, some laughed, others wouldn't, some were playful, others serious, old, young, black, white,
Each person was unique.
Each person had a story.
And at the end of the day when we started packing up, was when the stories started coming out...
stories of thankfulness-
a mom being reunited with some of her kids for the first time in
years, just for today, for this portrait session,
pain-
a mom lost all access to her kids just prior to Saturday, she showed up alone, what was suppose to be a family portrait turned into a single session,
recovery-
a man had a band aid on his forehead and boils on his face, he'd been through the wringer, but was on the road to recovery.
Five friends came out with me in support of this project; it wasn't originally their dream, but they came out and supported me in mine (thank you Lord for friends who care and sacrifice-it's not unnoticed, and unexplainable appreciated!)
A final really cool aspect that I could have never predicted was the work God was doing through my friends, and in them. They got to connect with the families, engage and cheer on the men, and at the end of the day, this project belonged just as much to them as it did to me.
Each individual I photographed worked hard to stand here today and hold their heads up high. They've worked hard to free themselves of the chains of addiction, poverty, abuse, and homelessness...each was a slave to something, and each person, with the help of the Open Door Mission, and our most faithful Lord, have cut those chains loose and can now look forward to a life of freedom.
"Lord, may these men and woman look at these pictures and may it serve as a reminded of where they came from, the past that you delivered them from, and the promising future that lies ahead."
can't wait till the next time!!!!
