Total ECLIPSE of the heart! *singing of course*

Kara was at my house by 5:30, at which time we headed over to Liz's to meet up with the rest of our crazies, and while we were stoppped at a light, this is soooo cool...I look over and see a construction light stand in the road next to us, and low and behold....what does it say on it....

ECLIPSE! ( Oh baby-I knew it was going to be a good night! Bring on the fun!)

We head over to the casino for dinner, and we totally rocked that 65 and over buffet crowd!
Oh yeah! We were the youngest people in there by a good 20 years!



It was nice to be able to sit back, chew our food, and swallow without getting heaping piles of food stuck in our throats because we were so paranoid about old ladies secretly being twihards and possibly getting in line before us that we rushed through dinner. Not so this time.

We were not bent on being the first ones there. We were more along the lines of the 50th in line, so not too shabby. It did sting just a bit not having the mantle to tout that we were the first in line again this year. But ah well.

So we cozied up with our lawn chairs in the back of the hallway, made ourselves comfy, met some new friends, talked Twilight of course, I totally made a t-shirt with the picture of me and Carlisle that I had taken with him the other week. (you can't see it so good in this picture-but it's the bomb.)



We played Catch Phrase and quickly realized that out of the whole crowd of noisy teens and tweens, we were louder than them all! Especially Liz! By the end of the night she actually had some copy cats in the audience. Whenever she would laugh, they would copy in their best Liz impression. Gotta love friends who know how to cut loose. :)



we were having a blast! I totally sneaked in a whole tin of treats disguised in my New Moon trivia game box. No one was the wiser! I would have shared some with the employees, but we had some nazi's patrolling this time and I didn't want to risk losing my goods.


seriously, check out my loot!......and Kara's pocketed macaroons from the buffet!




our token husband. Isaak stayed home this time, so Jason came with Brandi. And he liked it.


One minute before the movie....I was a little, ugh, excited. :) (dude, check out my shirt! flippin' awesome!)


we were nearly the oldest people in the crowd this year. There were a few, and I'm talking a few older than us in attendance, but not too many.....it was packed with younglings. And might I add, not nearly as hard core as us!

Cheers ladies! It was a blast!

me, Alexis, Sherri, Brandi, Kara, Liz


Favorite moments.....
all of us getting carded going into the casino
feeling so young at the buffet
feeling so old at the theater
our waitress being mesmerized with Liz's phone
Liz and Kara stealing desserts like a couple of old ladies :)
being serenaded by Liz to Justin Bieber songs!
talking to Holly in line
laughing hysterically
Brandi's ta-ta action
being louder than everyone else there!
Liz's contagious belly laugh
getting 'cryogenic' in Catch Phrase
making fun of the 'Tool'
strangers coming up and asking to borrow my magazines (how did no one else think to bring Twilight related reading material?)
being called "Ma'am"...a lot.
the kid behind me asking, "excuse me, what is the last name of that Beatle who's first name is George?" Dude. For real? Apparently he thought I looked plenty old enough to know the answer, which of course I did.
hitting our 20th wind and getting louder and louder
the movie, or course
sitting on the edge of my seat, literally
spying on Kara's reactions
listening to Liz giggle like a tween


....and just pretty much in general the whole.entire.night.

Goin' to....

ECLIPSE TONIGHT!!!!!!!!

*screaming like a tween!*

Seriously can't wait, and not just for the movie, but the company of great friends!!

Gotta go....I need to go prep my bag and stare at my outfit!

The Crisis Center

This is Beccy.


Me and Beccy met in a random way last year through a friend, and soon after that she joined our bible study group.

It was truly the hand of God that brought us all together.

I love those moments....ya know, the moments that you don't know are moments at the time, and then you look back and just stand in awe of how God arranged it all.

That's what this was.

Well, back in April Beccy asked me to accompany her to a United Way volunteer luncheon downtown. Beccy was being honored for her work as a volunteer at the Crisis Center. Out of all the volunteers in the Omaha area Beccy received the second highest honor. A.mazing.
(Did you know? Nebraska ranks #2 in the country for volunteers! Because we totally do!)

Sitting in the hotel, listening to the stories of the other volunteers being honored for their work was truly humbling, to say the least. Stories of teenagers spending their spare time every week in nursing homes praying with the elderly, a 'cowboy' single handily raising thousands of dollars, getting sponsors, and trucks worth of toys to donate to our local Native American reservations. Big HUGE stories of people, young and old, doing BIG things. As we sat, listening, and applauding each volunteer....Beccy quietly whispers to me, "what.I.am.doing.here?" ( Feeling small in comparison to what others around her had done.) I turn around and the look on her face was complete.humility. Humbleness to the core. And it was in that comment that my heart said, "that's why. that right there."

And it's that that God is seeking. A humble heart. With pure, selfless motives.

Only one other gentleman received a higher honor than Beccy that day. A middle school teacher, for his 'ordinary' 'non-huge' 'everyday' work in the lives of his students.

Ya see, every week, Beccy goes downtown, and spends time with kids at the Crisis Center.
(The Crisis Center is a temporary emergency shelter for kids who can't go home -either due to abuse, neglect, trouble making, crisis, ect. and have yet to be assigned by a judge to a foster house or group living home (like Boys Town)). These kids are in need. They are literally stuck. Stuck in the system. Stuck living in the confines of a locked down building, no place to call home except the room where they sleep. No parents to love on them, encourage them, and tell them how cherished they are.

So Beccy brings projects to do, makes snacks to eat, arranges outings, talks to them about nothin' at all, or talks to them about meaty stuff when they let her. She just goes. With an open heart. To be used by God in their lives. Whether in a big way or a small way. She shows up to show them they are not forgotten, and they are cherished.

Before the volunteer luncheon two months ago Beccy approached me and asked if I could do some senior portraits for one of the kids who has been there for over a year, graduated, and about to age out of the system. After we started planning the specifics of it all, there turned out to be two other kids who were also seniors and wanted portraits done as well.

So, rather than just show up, take pictures, and go home, I thought it would be a fun idea to throw a little 'Graduation Party' at the center for the seniors. After a lot of planning and prep, (we had to get special permission to even be there and photograph the kids since most of them are wards of the state.) We brought a load of snacks and drinks for all the kids in the unit to munch on, complete with gift cards to Target for all the seniors. We didn't want to just show up and take pictures, we wanted to show up and celebrate those kids.

And then.... we arrive..... to find that none of the seniors are even there! (they are out on day pass, and the one senior who is there decided she did not want to be photographed)

ughhh, what now?!

Some critical information fell through the cracks at the last minute. So we sit there. And wait. Not sure whether to leave and reschedule or stick around and hope for a little miracle.

Glad thing we stuck around, because God pulled through a little miracle.

As we sat in the common room, waiting and watching, a young man sitting at the counter asks what we were all doing there. We tell him we're there to do senior pictures. Turns out he is going to be a senior this coming school year (and this is typically when senior have their portraits taken, the spring and summer of). I tell him, and a staff member we'd be happy to photograph him (though we didn't have permission) so he hops in the shower, and starts to get ready.

For a moment....I quickly asked myself, "do I set everything up to only photograph one kid?"
I heard a quick response say, "yes. set it all up just for him, you never know what will happen."

So, I set up. And in the middle of photographing the young man, Beccy comes in and says that one of the seniors was back early and getting ready, and the other gal who was already there but changed her mind, changed it again and decided to have her picture taken after all. There were also two other younger gals who requested to be photographed as well. And then the senior who originally requested photos at the very beginning came back too.

So glad we stayed. :)

I'm not sure how to adequately describe my time there.
It was hard,
and eye opening.

I feel that with each Portrait Project I do, God is steering me towards a world I'm unfamiliar with.
Showing me a different,
hard,
bitter,
very real reality.
A reality that is desperate for Him.
Desperate for Love and Mercy and Grace.

The moments that stick out to me the most from this day.....

as I photographed one of the gals (she started out wearing a big baggy sweat shirt, pony tail, jagged bangs covering her face) she "uncharacteristically" mentioned that she liked the country song that was playing on my ipod. After admitting she liked it, she quickly cautioned me not to tell anyone, because she didn't want the other kids there to know she liked country music. A few songs later a Toby Mac song played, and she again mentioned that she liked Toby Mac. And again cautioned me not to tell anyone. As I watched, and listened, I couldn't help but be grieved that in her world, she doesn't even feel safe and free to be her. Safe from ridicule and scorn. Free from contempt and mockery. Her hard core identity is not her identity. It's her mask.
But gradually, as we talked and laughed, she eventually took out her pony tail,
took off her baggy sweater to reveal a cute t-shirt,
swept the bangs away from her face,

...stripping away the mask....

and stood before me confident and free.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there.is.freedom." 2Cor 3:17

After I finished photographing the gal above another girl came in. Baggy jeans and tucked in button up shirt. Wearing the slightest hint of make-up.

Liz and Beccy strolled in behind her with a little grin curling up on both their faces.

This girl has never been known to wear make-up, because that would go against the image she's painstakingly labored to portray. An image that requires her to wear baggy masculine clothes she frequently borrows from the boys in the unit. As she was getting dressed down the hall Beccy asked if she wanted any make-up for her pictures. An uproar of mockery and disapproval quickly started bouncing off the walls from the other kids and staff members. Obviously, the girl declined given the response of such a request.

Well, not five minutes later, Liz gently and casually asked her again if she would like a little bit of make-up on. And this time....
she said yes.
Yes.

When God sets out on a mission to show His love and He uses us to do it, there is nothing that can stand in the way. Not fear of scorn. Or ridicule. Or mockery. Liz gently asked her again knowing she had already said no, and got a totally different response. And the girl that I later photographed was not the same one who got ready down the hall.

She was unashamed.
And she was free.

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there.is.freedom." 2Cor. 3:17

We showed up to do three senior shoots, then thought we were gonna get to do zero, and ended up doing six sessions after all was said and done. We brought junk food and gift cards. Took pictures. Did make-up. Talked danced and laughed. But everything that we did and brought to those kids ranks low in comparison to what God did that day....
He broke through walls,
restored confidence,
offered hope ,
and helped reestablish their identities in Him.




But God didn't stop here....from this project, and Beccy's involvement with the Crisis Center and constant talk of need for male volunteers...God sparked an interest in Isaak, he then boldly rounded up four guys from his work, and they all went through the training together to become mentors and volunteers at the Center. Five more guys than they had last month. Five more men God is going to use to show these kids they are not forgotten. And they are cherished.

Our God is simply.amazing.



the team (Liz, Brooke (another simply amazing friend who came along and photographed the kids outside, Beccy, and myself.)

OH.YES.I.DID.

He was five.minutes. from my house.
A celebrity, in little ole Nebraska.
And not just anywhere in Nebraska, five minutes away from my house in Nebraska.
And not just any celebrity.

Yes I would be there.
Yes I would wait.
Yes I would go alone.
Because I'm hard core. :)

It was sooooo worth every minute spent in the heat and humidity.
It was sooooo worth the money.
And it was soooo worth the hours spent waiting in line.

Because I got to meet Peter Facinelli, Dr. Carlisle Cullen!!! Whoop whoop!!!!!


*doin' a little dance, breakin' it down, oh.yeah!*
(It's okay, you can be jealous.)

I was surprised, there weren't as many people as I expected. :)




here he is arriving, fashionably late, and addressing the audience. He said in addition to donating the proceeds to the Nashville flood relief fund, he would also be donating a portion to flood relief in Omaha...SAWEEEEEET! (before he arrived security was going around to all the ladies telling them to keep their shirts down because he was married.with five kids.and was a family man. so no flashin! ha ha! who would do that?!)


signing autographs. one of which I got for free, unexpectedly. As I was leaving he said, "hang on a minute, let me sign that......" CHA CHING!!

Seriously, I can't shut up about this! It's just so awesome!

I don't care if it's silly, I don't care if it's 'tweenish', or doesn't make sense......

Life is too serious to be serious all the time. So I went. Because it was one of those once in a lifetime moments...and, it was just.simply.fun.



here it is one more time! What up! (I'm totally having this printed on a shirt for the Eclipse premier!)

(that's not actually what the sign said, but it's a surprise for someone else so I changed it up to not ruin the shock value.)

another seizure

Came home from church this morning (flew solo as Marvelly got a fever yesterday). And not ten minutes after I got home, I had Marvelly laying on my lap, cooling off with a damp cloth on her head, and she has another seizure, in my very arms again.

I know that febrile seizures aren't as serious as 'regular' seizure, if there's such a thing....but I will never ever get used to seeing my babe completely stiff and flayling about everywhere. Scares me silly. And I hate to see it.

Thankfully I wasn't alone this time when it happened, Isaak was with me. Soooo thankful for that. It was more intense this time, lasted a bit longer and her shaking was more violent. So we called for an ambulance, again. And of course the air force does everything big, so an ambulance, a fire truck, and four cop cars or so come blazing down the street. At least this time a young, nervous first time airman wasn't the first to respond...whatever cop got there first just burst in the door, "where's the emergency?!" came over and got right to business looking over Marvelly. Now that's how a momma likes to see things get done!

Febrile seizures, I'm told, as I was told last time this happened...are not uncommon in children with fevers. Well, I don't care how 'common' they are....they scare me. I will bring my child to the doctor every time. And did I mention they scare me. Isaak was great though, very calm. And Sydaleigh too, she just sat next to Marvi on the floor, praying Jesus would help her. The doctor told me when I got to the hospital, as I was asking questions, making sure she was sure this was consistent with a febrile seizure...she said, "yeah, we're sure, Marvelly was back to her normal toddler self by the time she got to the hospital...telling everyone to 'go away' and 'leave me alone', no worry about neurological damage." Love her. And her sassy toddler self. :)


Well....wasn't expecting this today. Hopefully the rest of the day will be uneventful...

(Marvelly is doing much better. Her fever finally came down around 5pm and she's in much better spirits. )

shoot

I was playing around with the new 'design templates' and accidentally applied one!
I like it and all,
But it won't let me change my layout back to what it was!
Shoot.
I need to either get use to the color peach real quick, or figure out where they hid my old template.

our 3 hours at camp

(this is realllllly looooong....)

A couple weeks ago I was asked if I would like to come back to Royal Family Kids Camp this year to help all the little girls with hair and make-up for their very special birthday dinner.
I yes said, of course, and was glad for the opportunity to go without all my photo equipment and just really be able to connect more one on one with the girls.
Isaak is also there all this week and was really excited for the chance to see the girls.

So, yesterday afternoon, I loaded my girls up in the car (minivan) and drove us two hours to the middle of no where to spend the evening in the company of some truly wonderful people.

Before yesterday came...I thought one time, just once, that I might be going temporarily insane again, driving two hours each way to offer a few moments of our hands. But, I felt the Lord, most definitely the Lord, confirm to me that I was not going temporarily insane, and that He was the One urging me to go. So I went, we went, only because I had overwhelming peace in feeling like the Lord was going to use us, in some way, to shed some light.

So away we went.

Marvelly had been up since 5:50am that morning, had slept for 20 minutes of her nap before I woke her to get in the car...going into this drive I was assuming each girl would sleep the whole way, and I would be alone with my thoughts for two glorious hours. It didn't happen that way of course. Marvelly never went back to sleep, but she was semi-quiet on and off, so it wasn't so bad. Sydaleigh did take a little snooze which I was grateful for knowing she'd be up late.

Isaak calls around 4:20 and I tell him we only have about 10 miles left to go. He asked if we passed an ambulance on the way here, and I say no. He tells me that one of the workers from the camp fell off the very top of the climbing wall, 40 feet up in the air, about 4 stories, all the way to the ground, where he started convulsing, and was likely broken in every which way.
(more on this later...)

So we arrived at 4:30pm. The girls wouldn't be getting ready for the dinner till 5pm so we had a little extra time. Isaak met us out front, and took the girls with him down to the lake to play in the sand for a bit. I meander to the activity area and get this sudden sense that.......

I'm totally out of place.

and then...

what am I doing here?

I'm not a counselor, I haven't been here invested in these little lives all week, I don't know them, I have no relationship, I dragged my two girls with me two hours to help do hair and make-up, thinking that God wanted to us to be here as a family...and here we are, the girls are playing in the sand with Isaak, and I'm standing here not knowing what to do.

So I settle into a picnic table and start making small talk with some of the girls doing crafts. Isaak brings the girls back a little while later, heads back to the lake to paddle boat with one of his kids, and I slowly make my way with my girls to the lodge where the 'big girls' will be getting ready.

I didn't have any specific expectations going into this part. After all, last year during this time I was photographing the boys and only Kara and Holly went back there to help the girls with prep work. So, I didn't know what to expect. My only thought was that I was going to get to help a lot of girls get ready. And that's what Sydaleigh thought too. The whole way there, and days before, we talked about what we would be doing. And Sydaleigh was overwhelmingly excited about getting to help the girls with make-up, and brush their hair, and tell them all how beautiful they looked.

We get in and the girls are slowly making their way to the common room. There are tables and chairs stretched out in the middle with make-up samples and nail polish scattered on top. Along the walls are table and chairs with curling irons and flat irons. And there are a lot of helpers, like me, all waiting to help. And there comes those thoughts again...

what am I doing here?

After a few more minutes, girls were coming in but the other helpers were quicker to the punch of getting them sat down with them. Sydaleigh was starting to get antsy, wondering when she would get a turn to help, me wondering the same thing.

And then a girl walked in. She was wearing glasses, a fancy green dress, with green feathered boa, complete with a green feathered fan, and silver tiara. She made her way over to us, finally, someone to help!

When she sat down Marvelly was standing next to me and the girl asked if Marvelly could sit with her, on her lap. I said yes, and there they each sat, Marvelly looking over her outfit, and the little girl, content as can be with her on her lap.

Sydaleigh got busy straight away peeling back eye shadow samples for me, and watched in anticipation as I dolled up her eyes. Finally, after a couple coats of eye shadow and blush, I let Sydaleigh apply her lipstick.

She was nervously thrilled and composed. I can't imagine what it must have left like for her to be able to put lipstick on a 'big girl.' I watched, wondering if the 'big girl' would have any aversions to a four year old putting on her make-up, waiting for her to object, and to my surprise, actually, she had none. She sat there perfectly still, letting Sydaleigh slowly paint her lips, not fussing that she was slow, or wondering if she would mess up. She just let her help.

While Sydaleigh was busy at work I asked the girl what her favorite part of camp was so far, expecting her to say the rock wall, or swimming...and again to my surprise she said, "this."

*smile*

Once we were done I told her to go to one of the tables and a lady over there would help with her hair. She walked away, and I watched her as she stood by the one table where no adult was helping. She scanned the room, waiting for help, walked in circles for a few minutes, scanning the room some more, no one noticing she needs help with hair...no one but me.

So I gather us up and head over to the corner and decide to be the one to help her.

All the while thinking....I am sooooo unqualified to be doing this.

And by unqualified and this....I mean that this 'big' girl' was African American and her hair was done up in the tiniest little braids and pony tails I've ever seen! I've never in my life worked on African Am. hair, and this girl wanted it flat ironed!

*gulp*

I had no idea where to start, I just looked at her hair, totally intimidated but she she helped me along and said to start taking out the braids first.

So that's what we did, and did, and did, and did some more and I didn't even think I was doing that right. These were the tiniest braids known to man, plus they were semi-wet from playing in the water....hence, the hardest things in the world to separate! I was trying to do it all gentle not wanting to hurt her...but then I see her just grabbin' a piece of hair and rippin' it apart! I figured she had done this few times.

While we sat on the couch separating hair Marvelly was bouncing all over the place, in her very two year old fashion, and the girl just played with her, tickled her, placed her on her lap, over and over again. The question begged to be asked..."Do you have younger brothers or sisters?"

"No." she said. "I have two older sisters and a 9 year old brother."

Wow. For not having younger siblings she was surprisingly good with kids. Gentle. Fun loving. Patient.

A few leaders walked past us and stopped, eyes wide, as they surveyed the task I was undertaking. Eventually a young, maybe late teens counselor came over to assist, with experience in working with this hair. And after 30 minutes or so the two of us were able to style her up pretty good.

And that was it.

45 minutes. One girl helped.

I spent the next two hours trying to get Marvelly to sit nicely in my lap while we ate dinner and waited for cake. The girls were getting even more antsy by this point, wanting cake, wanting to walk, wanting to see Daddy. I was growing more and more frustrated over these two hours as my legs were being used as a trampoline, my face was being continuously squished together, telling "wait please" "it's coming" "we're not here for us, we're here for them" "wait your turn". By 8:00 I was ready to call it a night, but I still had two+ hours of driving in front of me. At least I could take comfort in the fact that the girls would sleep the whole way home and I would have some time to myself. Right. Again, not the case. Not even close. Sydaleigh sobbed for the first 30 minutes because she missed Daddy, and when she finally calmed down, Marvelly picked up for her, crying and screaming and yelling for an hour and a half straight. She didn't stop scream crying till 9:50 when she finally passed out from sheer exhaustion.

I was frustrated beyond belief. And in my frustration with the girls, and my tiredness from driving and just 'being'...I started to think....

why did I even come out here? what was the point?

I drove 4 hours for 3 hours at camp?

And I only spent 45 minutes of those 3 hours helping.

and I only helped 1 girl.

I was unraveling as those thoughts got bigger and bigger.

Isaak called at 9:30pm thanking us for coming out, and on the verge of tears I asked him why we even bothered coming out there....we helped one girl. That's it. He said it was worth it, but I couldn't see it that way yet.

I was expecting God to use us more. I couldn't understand why He would urge me and give me overwhelming peace to drive 4 hours out to camp....to help one girl!

I thought He was going to use us more. To help more girls. All the girls.

But that's not what happened.

And after thinking, and being frustrated (never mad...just frustrated) all night....it was in talking to my Mom this morning that it sank in......

"because He knew you wouldn't have gone."

*sigh* I love it when God uses Moms to shed some much needed light.

And He was right. I probably wouldn't have gone there. I wouldn't have driven 4 hours for 45 minutes of help to benefit one girl. So, He gave me the most overwhelming peace, washed all my cares leading up to yesterday away, and replaced them with assurance, a vision of serving as a family, peace in driving out there, the anticipation of quiet time....He gave me everything I needed to get us there. Knowing, that we would only help that one girl.

He wanted us to do all that, for one girl.
Because to Him, she matters that much.
To Him, she was worth the 4 hour drive.
To Him, she was worth the scream crying tantrums.
To Him, she was worth every aggravation we went through to be there and stay there.

I'm glad God doesn't always give me the big picture. Oh am I glad.....because if He did....always give me the 'big picture'....He knows it's a lot less likely I would follow. There would be no needed for faith, or trust, if God always gave us a life plan.

God only gave Abraham a day plan. That's it. "The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your native country, your relatives, and your father's family, and to to the land that I will show you."" (Gen12:1) And that's what Abraham did. He packed up his stuff and got ta walkin'! He didn't know where, how long they'd be traveling, he didn't know the hardships he would endure along the way, the famine they would face, the conflicts between family, the war he would engage in to save his nephew...he didn't know any of that. And would he have gone if God had told him?

Would I have gone to camp if God had told me I'd only help one girl?

"For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD. I will search for my lost ones who strayed away, and I will bring them safely home again. I will bandage the injured and strengthen the weak. " (Ez. 34:11-16a)

I feel like I got to see this....this verse, this truth up close and personal yesterday. I got to see God in action use us to look for His one. God will move mountains to bring even one of us back to Him. He will move mountains, literally, if He has to, to show one person they are important. And loved. And worth it.

Like my Mom said....if Jesus had lived those 33 years, died on the cross, and only 1 person came to know Him as their savior....1 person, out of the history of mankind....HE still would have done it. He still would have died. He would die for 1.

Because one is worth it all.

And I'm glad He showed me that.


*(remember that guy I mentioned at the top somewhere who fell 4 stories off the top of the insanely high rock climbing wall....they announced during dinner that as the doctor was evaluating the man...he looks at him and says, " I just don't believe that you fell 4 stories...I can't find a thing wrong with you." Totally baffled. A.mazing. He could have been killed, and yet was fine. As Mark said, "I bet there's an angel somewhere with a bruise." Isn't God grand?!)

RFKC

Isaak left for Royal Family Kids Camp on Sunday. He is there as a counselor and paired with him is another male leader and they are each assigned to two kids. The children arrived around lunch time on Monday. I get a call from Isaak at dinner time...he says,

"wow, this is such an amazing and difficult experience so far. I over heard one of the kids in my group ask the other leader, "can you adopt me?" "

break.

there went his heart. just like that. not 6 hours into camp.

simply heartbreaking.

Bloom where you're planted

We took the girls to our favorite little farm about 20miles south west of here a few weekends ago. It was the first weekend they were open since winter so they waived the entrance charge.
Gotta love that.
We just love this place in general.
It's perfectly situated out in the country (although everything kinda is here, but this place even more so)
It's called Bloom Where You're Planted, which is the cutest name ever...and it's just a very small, family owned and operated farm.

It doesn't boast anything fancy.
It has a swing set for kids to play on.
Horses to watch and feed grass to.
A bean bag toss.
Huge hay bails to climb on.
A corn kernel pit.
Walking trails.
An old school house converted to a kitchen to buy homemade, or locally grown food in.
Nice, and quaint and quiet.


the girls loved the horses by far the most. all they wanted to do watch them...



rip up grass and feed them...


pet them...


walk next to them...


it's better than a playground. a mall. a park. a bouncy house. a whatever.
Because they can be free.
Children need times to feel free.

places like this are why we love Nebraska so much.

Isaak's birthday (last month!)

Gosh I'm behind! Oh well, better posted late than never....

Sunday morning we all shuffled downstairs to open gifts with Isaak before heading to church.
We bought him Top Gun Special Edition on blue ray. (this man's favorite movie of all time...he had been celebrating Top Gun day since Friday, when he found out there is an actual annual Top Gun day)



he had been waiting to open up that big one since he saw it stashed in the closet. He had no clue what it was, I didn't either when it came in the mail! I played it up like it came from us, he had no clue we didn't even buy that for him....but he was thrilled to see that he got a brand new fire pit...thanks Jake and Holly! (our old one was fine. I know you ran over it with your Jeep but we still used it, in true ghetto fashion!)




We finished the night having a sitter come over so we could go out to see Iron Man 2.

Happy 28th birthday!

sweet relief

Finally, finally finally.....after I don't even know how many weeks....I've lost track, I finally finished our profile letter, and actually got it stamped AND into the mail today!

That is huge!

I can procrastinate like no other....
generally, it takes me a good while to simply put a stamp on something once I finish it.
And then it takes me even longer to walk my lazy self all the way across the street to the mail box to send it off. So sad. :)

But today was a different story.

I somehow found the motivation to sit down at the computer yesterday and finish this letter that has been plaguing my thoughts for weeks on end. I thought writing this would be the easy part, but found that every time I sat down I just couldn't find the right words. I knew that there were right words somewhere, but I couldn't muster them out.

This letter is the first, and only deciding factor these pregnancy clients are given to make a choice. The ultimate choice. Who am I going to trust to raise my child? That choice leaves me humbled every time I think about it. Knowing that someday, someone will pick us. Someone will actually trust us to give us their child to raise as our own. My mind can't yet wrap itself around that concept.

So off goes our letter to our case worker-to review before it's sent to all their offices around Nebraska. Such sweet relief knowing that this part is done. We're in the home stretch...I think?!

go do something useful

I took the girls to a semi-new playground in new housing today. We go there every now and then. It has a basketball court that we bounce bouncy-balls on, and a volleyball court that we use to dig in the sand. So, there we were, sitting in the sand on the volleyball court when a man in a car pulls up next to the court, gets out, starts meandering around, mindlessly picking up stray garbage....eventually making his way over to me and the girls.

It was Chuck. Chuck from housing maintenance.

He starts talking about nothing.

I knew he was there for a reason...I was just waiting for him to get to it.

After a few minutes he tells me that the property manager (Dora) drove by and saw us sitting in the sand and wanted to know what we were doing.

"Oh goody, here we go," I start thinking....

"We're playing." I said flatly, looking at him like he was crazy.

"Oh! yeah, there's not any sandboxes in base housing...this court is the only place to play in sand...but, well, it's probably not a good idea for kids to be playing in this," he finally says, not directly asking us to leave, but indirectly telling us to get lost.

"Really. Why not?" (can't make me go anywhere)

(Sydaleigh found a little box car on the border of the sand and grass and he saw it and picked it up, as if he needed another reason besides Dora's constant interference to ban us)

Holding the car in his hands he starts shaking his head back and forth,
"look at this right here, those darn kids, somebody could get hurt if they stepped on this in the sand."

He bends down to pick up a pebble in the sand and notices a few sticks nearby...
"yeah, look at all this. Look at all these rocks and sticks. Those kids are throwing stuff in the sand. It's really not a good idea for kids to be playing here."

Alright, that's it....

"Surely you can't blame children for throwing rocks and sticks in the sand. It's Nebraska, it's windy! It's much more likely that the rocks and sticks got blown in here!"

"Oh, well, yeah, there is inclement weather. But it's still not a good idea for kids to play here," was all he could say, again, for the third or fourth time.

"Hmmm." I smile at him, sitting back down, because I'm not leaving.

So he turns to walk back to his car and drives away.

I am fully expecting a sign to be put up by tomorrow banning children from the volleyball court.

Maybe they should focus more of their efforts on maintaining their property. Like, oh I don't know, by picking up the sticks and rocks that get blown around due to the weather. Filling in the pot holes from the work trucks that my kids are constantly falling in. Replacing the rusted broken swings at the playground by our house. Repaving the smashed in sidewalks that we can't walk on. Picking up the garbage that the workers they hire leave all over the property they manage.

Just an idea. As opposed to blaming it all on "those darn kids".

Ridiculous.