Cheerio! Brooke is going British!

It was a girl's night last Friday. A girl's night to celebrate our Brooke and send her off to England with a heart full of laughs and love and sweet memories of her time here. And, in our usual fashion, her final shindig turned out to be a gut bustin', peein' in the pants, knee slappin' laughing so hard ya can't breathe kinda night....ya know...the usual when we get together. :~)

We started the night by heading over to Shops of Legacy to get pampered.

(this salon was huge. I've never been in one this big...those chairs wrapped around the entire stinkin' place. )

Followed by dinner at Roja's.

 

Cheers!!

Uh-oh...ladies getting their happy faces on..... :~)

I got Brooke some absolutely essential reading material for her long flight over the pond....I will make a Hunger Games fan out of every.last.person I know! With a custom bookmark covered in all our faces to make it impossible to forget us. And some British notecards I assembled with lots of British sayings for her to start practicing...like, "Bob's your uncle" "I'll put the kettle on" "Gobsmacked" "full of beans" "Cheerio!" " Keep calm and carry on" "cheeky bugger" and "keep your pecker up".

Fried cactus.

A perfectly placed faux fascinator that I expect to see Brooke sporting next time. Texas doesn't do small so I expect to see you in a big ole gaudy mammoth sized one...mkay?!

 

Geesh we have fun together....

 This is Poncho. 

I thought he was looking a little lonely all alone up there on the wall so we made friends with him. 

Aaaaand...then we got a little too friendly and ole Poncho boy was feelin' a little violated  :~)

To a fun filled night and even more fun friends. England's not gonna know what hit 'em when this Yankee gets to town! Seriously, it would take Brooke's southern self going to England to ever be called a Yankee! This girl makes me laugh harder than probably any other friend. She has more accents than I've ever heard come out of one person, and they are always spot in, which makes it even more hilarious. Her stories and delivery and expressions make me buckle over with laughter every time. Oh, how I am going to miss laughing with my friend. So many great memories and time spent together. She is genuine, authentic, compassionate, and giving, she loves the Lord, is fiercely funny, makes some killer cupcakes, loyal as all get out, as Southern as they come, down to earth...I could go on and on. So so so blessed that our paths crossed during our time here and that I have the pleasure to call her friend. I can not wait to see where the Lord takes her on this new adventure....but I bet Tripp will be sportin' a British accent when it's done and over with! And just remember, no matter what happens...."Keep your pecker up girl!"

random memories from this gut busting laughing so hard I was hyperventilating night......

King Henry VIII

cotton balls and tweezers *still cringing*

Fifty dolla bills *eww*

sweat shop

fascinators

"bicycle is just askin' for a yeast infection"

butt butter

socks and Ambien

Brooke's hilarious plethora of accents

Poncho

"Keep your Pecker Up!"

toilet paper balls

Brad Paisley's wife....what's her name again??

chaffing

nipples and band-aids

sharts on rugs

ahhhh....there is never any tellin' what the conversations with us will hold with us.....so so hilarious...

Living water

It's rough. When Isaak is gone. It's tiring. And lonely. And...tiring.

Every night I lay down to bed feeling like I could sleep for a thousand hours. And then I wake up and realize it's only been six. I'm still tired. But I drag myself outta bed anyways and pull myself together before little ones come calling again.

I stood in front of the counter tonight, gathering my comfort bowl of cereal, and thought....how grateful I am that my single status is only temporary. And not only is it temporary, but it'll be over soon.

And then a flood of faces flashed through my mind of all the women I know who have to endure single status for so much longer. Month after month after month....or years.

Makes my stomach drop into an endless nothing, knowing how painstakingly hard it is to have to be everything. And not have an end in site. Or at least a sight that is within grasp. My prayers go out to them....

It's so hard.

It is utterly exhausting.

But somehow, by the power of God alone, I find myself receiving fulfillment in six hours instead of a thousand. I find myself actually being able to make the muscles in my face form a smile when my eyelids would rather give way. I find myself with the strength to give the girls a piggy back ride up the stairs when my body is fighting an impending coma. The ability to calmly reply, "go to sleep" an hour after bedtime when I still hear playing and giggles, the willingness to walk upstairs and rock Marvelly in my arms when she's gotten out of bed and or rub Sydaleigh's back...when I'm trying to squeeze in an ounce of alone time. I find myself getting an adrenaline rush, a boost of patience, a surge of compassion...when I would otherwise be bone dry. When the me in me is done. When the me in me is depleted. When the me in me feels like I have absolutely nothing left to give...

that's when my Jesus in me starts filling me back up. There He is....offering encouragement to persevere. Providing strength to carry. Supplying energy to stand.

When I feel like I'm being buried alive under heaping piles school schedules, chores, discipline, work, errands, cooking and stress...there He is throwing me down a rope, all I have to do is grasp onto it, and in His strength will pull me up and out.

Only His living water I tell ya.....

"On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” 
 ^{John 7:37-39} 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 
^{Matthew 11:28-30}

There is nothing else that truly satisfies. 
There is no one else that can give me sustainable rest, peace, endurance, patience, love, and gratitude.
There is no one else I want to follow.

Only Jesus.

In Christ who gives me strength....I can do all things. Not in me...but in Christ. Only Him....

Can you take the heat???

"Oooopsie."

And...

"Oooohh crap" are the only two things that I could say for what I did, unknowingly, today.

Apparently....I forgot to unplug the iron.

Somehow....the iron fell from its upright position and my old as dirt laptop broke its fall.

Thankfully.....that beast of a machine still actually works!

Normally, I would say that searing hot irons and plastic do not mix well. But, apparently Apples have some freaky ability to withstand getting burned, warped, and melted shut.

That poor old laptop of mine....she's still truckin', after all these years. I don't use her much anymore, not after her battery stopped holdin' a charge, then a piece of the plug charger somehow broke off inside, so it only stays on if you wiggle the plug juuuuust right...not to mention the darn thing had a nervous breakdown and completely crashed out of no where, a replaced harddrive later, I don't expect too much from her. I don't want to send her to the grave working her too hard.

And now, I can add a massive burn to her list.

But she's a strong one....Apple makes 'em good, that's for sure.

I feel like this should be a part of their new marketing.....

"Why buy Mac? 'Cause our product can take the heat. Literally, actual heat people. In addition to withstanding toddlers, dogs, and coffee spills...we can now add iron burns by house wives to the list. Macs...our products can endure just about anything. Get yours today."

So, luckily, I still have a working laptop, even if I don't really use her. Unfortunately, the iron saw its last day. Searing heat and plastic computers may be one thing. But searing heat, caked on plastic, and clothes are somethin' else....

Sydaleigh's FIRST day of Kindergarten

We did it. I did it. Sydaleigh did it. I feel a huge sense of accomplishment for making it through this day.....

I slept horribly last night. First I couldn't get myself to go to bed. So I stayed up baking homemade M&M cookies until I didn't have a scrape of dough left. Then I just kinda wandered around. Rechecking her lunch bag. Her book bag. My purse. I finally forced myself upstairs knowing logically that everything was ready....but feeling so unready.

I woke up about a bajillion times last night. Cold. Shakey. On edge. I'm not normally like that. I tried to reason with my head to calm down, but my body wasn't havin' it. I finally fell asleep good only to have Sydaleigh bust in the room scared from a dream, and then Chief started getting obnoxious meowing to go outside.

Really cat?
When have I ever in the past ten years gotten outta bed to let you outside at 4am?
When? WHEN?
Never. That's when. But he kept on meowing anyways. And when he finally resigned, he went into my bathroom, knocked down the trash can and pulled out a "pull-ups" bag to chew on. That I will get up for or else I'll be cleaning up puke in the morning. I kicked him out. Closed the door. Crawled back to my bed in hopes of falling back to sleep only for Anna to start pawing at the bathroom door, wanting to get in to get a drink.
Really Anna?
When have I ever got outta bed at 5am in the past twelve years to give you a drink of water?
When? WHEN?
Never. That's when. But she kept pawing at the door anyways.

*sigh*

It was not a good sleeping night, last night.

But today came regardless, like "todays" always do. I was dressed and ready to go before any little toes crept into my room. And when Sydaleigh did come looking for me, she was already excited. She picked out her clothes the night before so she quickly dressed and we headed downstairs just the two of us to eat breakfast together.

She told me she wanted her hair down, in her favorite headband. So that's how I let her wear it. It's her first day of school after all...she should get to pick how she wears her hair. (tomorrow I will probably choose for her, but today, it was all her. :~) )

We had about thirty minutes to spare so she did what she always does after breakfast and settled down on the couch to watch a little show. I made her lunch the same as I do at home. So at least there will be one consistency and familiarity from her time at home to take with her to school everyday.

I woke up Marvelly, who was still fast asleep, (poor darlin's gonna be woken up a lot I suspect) got her ready, and we hurried out the door to snap off a couple pictures before we left.

Her first day of Kindergarten.

I still can't believe it....it's gonna take a while, I think, for the reality of this life change to sink in....

...not having her around me all day anymore. Not all being together everyday like we used to.

 I figured out real quick you have to get to school early...like early early if you want to get a decent parking spot. I scored pretty well in the morning, but even arriving ten minutes early to pick her up this afternoon I had to park way down the block. Like, waaaaay down the block.

There she is...walking to her new adventure. 

 I was told that all the kindergarten classes line up outside in the morning, in front of their teacher, and then walk in after the first bell. I though, initially, "oh great, that sounds very organized, I like that."

"Uuuuummm, no. Okay? No. Just no. This is not organized. It is impossible to be organized when there is four rows of kids all squished together, plus parents. We are in the back of the line, because we only got to school ten minutes early, and everybody else apparently got here at the butt crack of dawn to line up. Sydaleigh's met her teacher one time. She can't see her from the back. What's to keep her from wandering off when it's time to go in, and follow some other student, into his classroom, and then be totally lost, and scared, and no one knows she gone. Where are the security guards? Where are the metal detectors? And what the heck is gonna stop some Freaky Freddy from wandering into the school right now? Huh? What?!"

"I ain't leaving my kid here.

You're gonna have to pry her outta my steal trap mommy arms first."

Oooohhh there they are. "They" being all those panicky thoughts that decided to gang up on me mere seconds before the bell rang and they were ushered in the doors.

Wait! I'm not ready!

But ready or not...it's time to go. Life is waiting.....

So I let her go. 

Reluctantly. Fearfully. Scared to death. Sad as all get out....

....I still watched her walk away to live this new adventure.  

I crammed my face to the glass and watched her walk down the hall till I couldn't see her anymore.

 But I couldn't get myself to leave. Not yet. I just had to be sure that she made it okay. So in a very ninja like fashion, I covertly crept to her classroom and stood outside the window, and there she was...safe and sound, in the room where she belonged, in her seat at her table.

And then I left. I left her in the care of a teacher I don't know...but in the hands of a God that I do.

And the day rolled on. And I was deeply loved. I spent a couple hours in the morning at Brandi's visiting and catching up, then me and Marvi made a trip to the store. Came home and enjoyed lunch, and coloring, and tickling and playing Dalmations. I talked to Kristine, Liz (the night before actually, but still fresh on my mind!), Isaak, Brindee, Holly, my mom, a "thinking of you" text from Jenny. It was good. Good to play with my absolute favorite three year old and talk with some absolute favorite people.

And then it was time to pick up Sydaleigh. And she had a most fantastic day....to which I did a complete debriefing on.  :~)

I heard all about her lunch, and potty breaks, and quiet time, and craft and coloring, and playing outside. She knows Mommy likes details, and she didn't spare a single one that she could remember. Bless her heart. It was a good day.

Prayerfully there will be a whole lotta those in store for her this year...and the next 18 after that. :~)

To new adventures. And moving forward despite the fear that wants to pull me back. To trusting and relying on the Lord in a completely new way. And learning to let go....albeit a teensy tiny bit at a time....

Happy first fantastic day of Kindergarten Sydaleigh! 

Kindergarten Open House

Sydaleigh had her kindergarten open house this afternoon. And I'm really happy that she is so happy and excited. So so so grateful for her enthusiasm. *deep breaths* I just wish I could stop crying!

This is nuts!

It ( "it" being this erratic catch me off guard emotional breakdowns at the mere potential thought of Sydaleigh leaving).....started a couple days ago. I was showering the other morning and just started sobbing. Every morning when I start to pray for her, it hits me again.

And today. Oye. I tried to convince myself before going to her open house that I would be fine. I gave myself a little pep talk and tried to reason with my emotions that she wasn't going to school yet. We were just scopin' things out. No reason to cry.

Apparently my emotions have a mind of their own....because my tear ducts didn't listen.

Just walking to the school...I could feel it start building up in my chest. I quickly try to stuff them back down only for that feeling to start to rise up again when we get to her class door.

Oh crap. I'm gonna have to try harder.

Her teacher is standing at the door greeting everyone as we approach. She bends over and shakes Sydaleigh's hand, gives her a high five, introduces herself, and hands me some papers.

There it comes again....this involuntary force of emotions. My cheeks start to get hot, tight, my eyes start to fill and I can hardly keep my tears from spilling over.

Her teacher is asking me, or telling me something, something about a paper, and all I can muster out is an, "okay." That's all I could say without my tears betraying what I was so desperately trying to hide.

I take a deep breath. Push whatever was trying to bubble up and out of me way back down and go tour her room. Sydaleigh was thrilled. We looked over every center thoroughly and talked about what she'd be doing and found her chair and cubby and this and that. I didn't have to fake my enthusiasm. I was/am truly thrilled for her and this new adventure. I am.

I just don't know how to let go. I don't know how to not see her and be a part of her life. I don't know how to be away from her for over 7 hours a day, five days a week. To not know what she's doing every minute of the day. To not be a part of every area of her life.

I don't know how to do that.

And this unknown leaves me scared.

Have I taught her enough these last five years? Will my influence and teachings and guidance be enough to sustain her without my presence there to encourage it?

And every time I think about it...all I can do is cry and cover her in mommy prayers. Prayers full of desperate pleas that the Lord's influence would reach her heart and sustain her and encourage her...that He would comfort her in times of loneliness, deliver her from temptation, counsel her to bring peace instead of quarrels amongst her classmates, that Him who knows her better than I...would guide her while I'm gone. And prayers for my heart's peace in leaving her in the Lord's loving care...

We'll see come Monday how I handle all of this. And if today's test run was any indication...that's not lookin' so good for me right now! Praying for peace in the midst all of my whacked out emotions!

Only four more days till my Sydaleigh's a kindergartner!!

That's.no.leaf.

Driving down the road. Windows rolled down. Girls in the back seats enjoying the crazy wind. Listening to music, day dreaming and driving on our way to the store.

Ahhhhh....life is good.


When all of a sudden out of nowhere I get pelted in the side of the head!

"BAAAH! Something flew in through my window!! It's.in.my.hair!! 

AHHHH! What is it, what is it?!?!?"

Sydaleigh- "Mom! Something came in the car!"

"I KNOW!! It's in MY.HAIR!!"

Freak out. Attempt to stick entire head out window....while driving. Hold wheel with right hand. Use left hand to frantically shake out whatever creature is trying to nest there. 

"Ewwww, I feel it!"

shake some more, and some more and some more.....

*swerve. 
try not to crash the car
freak out a wee bit more*

" I think I got it,"  

I say, not daring to look around or feel again in case I didn't. Better to be in denial about these things than to know I still had some mysterious creature on me and not be able to get it off cause I'm driving.

Sydaleigh-"Mom it's right there. Down by you!"

Freakin' aye!!

"Just calm down Melissa. It's probably only a leaf....it's only a leaf. It's windy, I'm sure a leaf just blew into the car and got caught up in your hair and that's all it was. The strange crunchy thing you felt in your hair....only a leaf...." I say to myself again and again trying to calm down my freak out mode. 

In the two years it took to get the the light two minutes away I finally stop, put the car in park real quick like, frantically pull off my buckle and lean away from my seat, not wanting to look but needing to know but the heck that was.....do I dare look???

Sydaleigh-"It's right down there!" 

"O.KAY!!"

I'm looking. 
I muster up my courage.
I inch my way to the edge of my seat, turn around slowly to frightfully inspect....

"WAHHHHH!!! 

It's.on.my seeeeeeaaat!! 

And that ain't no leaf!!

*shiver runs up my spine,

cringe all over*

"What.is.that.thing?!!?"

"What is it Mommy?" Sydaleigh asks just as concerned as I was. Well, maybe not as concerned....it didn't fly into her hair and land on her chair after all.

"Ick. I don't know" I say as I quickly inspect it and try to fling it out the window only to miss and have it land next to my door now.

The light turned green again so I have to sit back only to see that this creatures blood is now splotched all over the back of my seat, which I have to sit in. Swell. It gets caught up in my hair and now I have to rub all up in it's blood too? Come on!!

This is too much.

I 'm finally able to pull the car over and stop, and proceed to carefully exit the car just in case the creature is only stunned and spontaneously comes back to life and attacks me a second time.

And then I see his guts splattered all over the edge of my window....and thinks he's probably not coming back to life after all.

After inspecting it further all I could tell is that is was some mutant mix of a butterfly and grasshopper.

Which is apparently a locust, I later discovered. A giant locust. 

A GIANT locust flew into my car. And got caught inside my hair. Out of the grandness of the sky. Out of all the other cars on the road. Out of all the places to hit when the grandness of the sky isn't big enough for ya....I was the recipient of his poor sense of direction?!? Seriously...what are the odds?!

We were all a bit traumatized after that. If it hadn't been 90 degrees outside I would have rolled the windows up on our way home, not daring to push my luck again. Next time it'd probably be a bird knowing me. 

Take away.....

60mph+
no A.C.+
rolled down windows+
big hair+
flying critters=

inescapable death to any unfortunate critter, bird or any other flying species that gets caught up in my way....you will not be shown mercy. I will expel you from my hair in any way possible.

I'm gonna be so paranoid driving with the windows down for a good while I think.....

Only day five and already....

......the car is broke. The AC went caput tonight.

One of the last things Isaak said to me before he left was....

"and don't worry about the car. It's in great shape, shouldn't have any problems."

Mmmmm hmmmmm.

Right.

That's like sayin' in a room full of kids, "hey look, nobody's fighting or crying!"

And then before you can finish pronouncing the 'ing...one kids got another in a headlock and the rest of 'em are just crying for no reason.

"shouldn't have any problems...." 

Right. Sayin' something like that is just begging for the car to break.

Which....it did. Because Isaak is gone. And that's the only reason the car needs to spontaneously act up. Like it was just waiting to fizzle out until he left. Just like I'm sure at any moment I turn on the kitchen faucet water is going to squirt out at me like Old Faithful. Just.because.

Oye.

Dang car.

Isaak, bless his heart, actually tried to tell me how to fix it.

I know how to do all of one thing in a car to keep it functioning. Fill it with gas. So when Isaak actually tried to tell me how to fix it, "just buy this, open the hood, plug it in in this spot under the hood, and then do this and this......"

all I heard was...."wha wha whaaaaa, wha wha whaaaaaa."

I'm sorry babe, you lost me at "open the hood."

I know gas. And that is all.

And since it's still summer, and hot, and humid, and I don't particularly feel like drying the kids up like prunes in the back seat....I better get at getting this fixed. If only I were a dude. Or...a girl dude who knew more about cars than just where to put the gas. That would be so much more convenient right about now.

What would be even more convenient is if my car would quit with the identity crisis thing it's got goin' on and stop trying to turn itself into a sauna.

I see a long wait at the mechanic in my near future....