Sick sick and more sick

These past two weeks have not been kind to my body.

Two weekends ago Freddy Kruger invaded my stomach and he liked it so much he decided to hang out for next nine days. It was...unpleasant. To have to endure Freddy for a few days is one thing. I've done it. On more than one occasion since moving here. But after nine days I was pretty over having him around. My body was weary. Having to spend everyday with stabbing crampy birth like pains rattling your body has a way of draining you. 

By Tuesday of this week it seemed that Freddy was finally gone. But not before I was encouraged to bring a "sample" in a brown baggie to the clinic for testing. This is Africa...brown bags mean only one thing around here. And it ain't your lunch. Oh my...living here has a way of keepin' ya more humble than you ever wanted to be.....

With that most unpleasant experience seemingly behind me...I was finally feeling pretty good...for the next two days.

Until Thursday rolled around, and I woke up with a gnawing drip in my throat. By midday I had a full blown head cold and by night fall I had sneezed upwards of 100 times, my head was pounding, and everything in the general head and face area felt like it was splitting open.

I do not sleep well when I am sick. I am also not a medicine person...which is ironic because I have a nice cocktale of meds I have to take each morning. But, still, I'm the kind of person that usually just lives with the pain, for forever, until it passes, and never takes anything for it. I don't do it for any other reason than...I don't know why, it's just how I am. But Thursday night was so bad I was scurrying the cabinets for anything that would bring relief. And all I eneded up finding was a three year old expired bottle of children's benadryl. I'll pass thanks.

So, after waking up at 7:30am that morning I finally fell asleep at 3:30am to wake up three hours later at 6:30 and not go back to sleep until 11pm the next night.

Sleeping for a total of 3 hours in a 36 hour period is less than adequate in my opinion. My body was of the same opinion because by Friday afternoon I came down with a fever. And, whatever doctor said that Tylenol is the best at reducing fevers...is a liar. After taking 1000mg of Tylenol my fever not only didn't reduce...it kept climbing higher. The dang thing went from a meager 99.5 to 102.1 three hours later. So Isaak had we down another 800mg of IBP and finally, that did the trick and knocked my fever down.

I was finally able to sleep that night and woke up semi recovered...enough to function. My throat still aches and I sound like a monster when I talk...but overall I'd say that's an improvement from yesterday.

It is just a cold. People get sick in Africa from "cold" viruses like they do everywhere else. But it has come to my realization that while this is a "cold" virus, not unlike what I'd get in the states.... everything here is a new and different strain from what we're used to. So instead of having symptoms no worse than a runny nose like I'm used to...my body freaks out and gets a 102 degree fever.

Hopefully in time our bodies will continue adjusting to the new germs and viruses being introduced to our systems without making us so miserably sick.

However, realistically, I know that that takes time, much longer than 10 months. So I'm sure, however much to my dismay, that there will be more Freddy's and fevers in my future until my body gets the hang of living here more fully. Just prayerfully not any time again soon...my body needs a break!

The girl's first horse riding lessons

We discovered a treasure of a horse stable just on the outskirts of town last weekend. The stable had sent out a flyer for summer classes so we went to check it out and see if the girls would be interested in taking lessons. (of course they were! )

Tucked back off the main road heading to Fada, is this fantastic property filled with stall after stall of horses, and riding grounds for both beginners and those more experienced.

I was a little hesitant to sign the girls up for lessons, because all the horses in the stalls we saw were these huge males, and many of them were fighting with each other, like, literally trying to climb over those dividing fences to bite each other necks. But, that's probably what you get when all the horses are males and none of them are neutered.

So naturally I was wanting something more along the size and temperament of a donkey for the girls to learn on. =) They didn't have donkeys, but when we came back today with a friend who rides here, she did show us the slightly smaller horses kept separate for the beginner riders.

So, the girls tried their hand at really legitimately riding a horse today. None of that stuff you do at fairs where they are tethered to some spinny thing! Real lessons. And they both loved it! They picked out riding helmets, all of which were too big for Marvelly so I will just bring her bike helmet next time. =)

They will learn to saddle their horse and hoist themselves up. They will learn basic commands for the horse, how to make them go, and stop. How to hold the reigns properly. How to sit. How to bounce with the horse. Today they worked with them on arm exercises to keep their muscles loose while gripping the reigns. I have zero experience with horses, so this is all new to me too.

Sydaleigh could not have been more thrilled. She was so confident. And even though this was brand new to her, you'd never know it looking at her...she was so poised and at perfect ease. 

Marvelly really liked it, but I'm unsure due to her age and other interests how long those sentiments will last, so I only purchased lesson "tickets" today instead of investing in a whole annual program. I hope she likes it enough to stick with it. But she definitely had fun up there.

 It's just a fun hobby to gain experience in. Learning to ride and care for a horse.

Just fun. I love it. I love that they are so enthusiastic and this gives them something fun to do during the summer.

 A great first lesson! My little equestrians!

The sky is falling

Really.

This is not an attempt to be dramatic, of which I know I am habitually prone.

The sky is literally falling down. And by sky I mean the sky in my bedroom...which would be my ceiling.

My celing is falling down, over my bed, while I am in it.

Case in point.....

This would be a large chunk of paint that decided to come crashing down for no apparent reason while I was laying in bed last night reading with Anna cozied up beside me. It narrowly just missed her head. (thankfully my camera was handy on my side table right next to me to document this newsworthy event) After I felt the inexplicable thump onto the bed, and saw Anna smelling something at her paws, I looked up and saw this...

a gaping bare spot on my ceiling where the paint used to live.

I'm not really sure what to make of this. I've never lived in a house where the paint just randomly fell in chunks off the ceiling. But then again I've never lived in a house where I've experienced half the things I do here....so I'm just gonna chalk up this random paint falling episode to more weird African House Syndrome.

Burkina style iceberg swimming

We staged our own little form of iceberg swimming a few weeks back.

Just for fun the weekend before Matt and Megan left, we filled 14 coolers with ice and placed them around the pool. Each person had to man a cooler, including the kiddos, and on the count of three everyone had to dump their cooler of ice in the water, and then jump in. You had to be fast, otherwise it would melt before you got in.

It was the most random, silly and cold thing to do.
But it was so much fun.

It was well over 100 degrees that afternoon so the ice only lasted a matter of minutes, but it was worth it.

Here are the lone remnants after like three minutes. 

I think I'll take this version over the crazies who go running into a freezing ocean or lake in the middle of winter. This way you get the rush of cold, and then it all melts and is nice and warm again. =) And for someone who doesn't like to be cold...this is the way to iceberg swim right here.

So. much. fun.

Things I want most.....

The Lord whispered something to me this morning. Something my heart was needing to hear and be reminded of. Something I had momentarily forgotten when I got all self-focused these past few weeks.

That's the problem when we're always looking at ourselves. In doing so we take our eyes off of God and instead of seeing ourselves through His eyes...we're only looking at ourselves through our own.

And that creates for some cloudy vision.

And my vision's been cloudy these past two weeks.
I've been focusing on the wrong things.
The kind of things that lead to negativity, unhappiness, and lack of fulfillment.
Things like...comparing, judging, assuming, being resentful, selfish, and just plain mad.

I don't wanna be those things. I don't want to focus on those things. Not for two weeks, two days or two hours. Galatians 5 tells us that, "Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."

Keep in step means continued walking. It's an action. He steps I step. Always together. It doesn't say that He gets to go on ahead of me while I hang back here and pout for a while and then decide to catch back up when I'm good and ready. It means where He goes I go. It is something that I must always continue doing.

I want to walk in step with Jesus. I want my vision to be focused on the Him. I want to see myself the way He sees me. I want my attitude to be in line with what is pleasing to Him. I want my thoughts and actions to glorify Him because He deserves no less from me.

And this morning as I prayed He reminded me of something wonderful. Something that I knew about myself...but I let get pushed down my list of priorities when I decided to take a little attitude detour.

The things that I want most in life.

Most meaning...there I things that I want in life, things that are good and acceptable and fun and and superficial...but ultimately...ultimately, there are things that I want more than that.....

things like.....

being obedient to the Lord's prompting...like when I pull up to a stop light and place a bundle of bread in the outstretched hands of a begging mother who has her two children wrapped to her back and chest. And just as importantly getting to explain to Marvelly who is crying in the back seat because I just gave away our banana bread....why I did that.

I want to see God use Marvelly to bring simple delight in the way of tickles and belly kisses to our beloved friends. I want to see her smile so much from all the love God's pouring out of her that her face is sore and her fingers ache. I want to see her love and give until she is sweaty and tired and dirty and ask to come back tomorrow to do it all again.

I want to get my hands dirty with red soil.

I want to hear more prayers from Sydaleigh asking Jesus to, "fill my heart with joy" when she's having a rough morning attitude wise...and then seeing God show up big in her heart and take her sour attitude and transform it into something beautiful. I want to give my daughters more opportunities to be used by God, to rely on His strength and open up their hearts to receive more joy...so that they can sit contentedly and blow bubbles to parentless children....

Or on first sight be so completely drawn to a child Sydaleigh calls Elliel, "her baby" and refuses to let him go.

I want my arms to ache from serving.

I want to laugh and see my family bubble over with joy. 

I want to spend my mornings watching this sweet girl not only smile, but giggle with delight, when she so rarely ever does.

I want to bear witness to the incredible works of God.

I want more opportunities to be used by God to meet adoptive parents who have just been matched to their kids but still have months and months of a wait in front of them before it is finalized...and let them know I am loving their children as if they were my own until they can come back and bring them home.

 

I want more time getting to hang out and become familiar with this cool guy, who is getting quite tech savvy.

I want God to continue to use our home as a respite for missionaries to come and relax and be refreshed before they head back to the field.

I want to give until it hurts.

I want to not be afraid to look at hard things. 

I don't just want my kids to inherit my beliefs, but see them follow Jesus because their love for Him has nothing to do with me. 

I want to see Isaak come home excited and fired up from getting to be a part of a passion God placed in his heart.

I want to serve as a family.

I want to follow God wherever He leads and join him in His work that I have the privilege to be a part of.

I want my "yes" Gods to outnumber my "no's".

I want to love others how He loves me.

I want my life to ultimately bring Him glory and praise. 

At the end of the day...those are the things I want to fix my mind on. Those are the things that really matter to me and those are the things I want the most in life. And if some other stuff has to get sacrificed along the way in order for me to live for the the things that matter most...well, so be it.

"What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ..."-Philippians 3:8

...by the grace of God may that be my heart's song....

Thoughts on our first "summer" break in Burkina.

We are almost two weeks into summer break. It's not really summer here though, so technically it's just a break from the school year, but whatever. We'll take it. Happily.

I've been thinking about "Summer" break a lot these past weeks. What we should do. The fun I hope we have. It's different here. I know that's a big "duh" but during the school year we had a strict school schedule with activities and despite the differences, that part of our lives at least slightly mimicked "normalcy". School. Homework. Activities. It was semi-familiar.

With school on hiatus, I'm left with the predicament of finding things to entertain the girls in their off time. It's slightly easier for Marvelly, because joyfully she has her sister back daily, and is reveling in the companionship of 24/7 sisterhood.

Sydaleigh is actually loving her break so far. She enjoys not being on a schedule for a while and the freedom no school brings. But I wonder how the rest of the summer will progress....

there are no parks here.
no zoos.
no amusement parks.
no beaches.
no lakes (unless you count the barrage...which we don't)
no neighborhood friends
no cul-de-sacs to ride bikes around (where we live there aren't even any streets to ride their bikes on, unless you want to be swallowed alive by a pot hole.)
no ice cream trucks
no sidewalks to draw chalk on
no curbs to sit on and pass the time
no fairs
no movie theaters
no redboxes
no fishing
 
I could write on that list forever. The "withouts" are endless. But I will stop. We live in a different country now, a country without all the familiars we are used to, and adaptation and flexibility are key to content survival.

As I've thought about our summer break these past two weeks I've bounced back and forth between  frustration, self-pity, hopeful contentment and worry.

We were hoping to return home to the States for a while this summer. But unfortunately that is not going to happen. Hence the whole, "how the heck are we gonna pass all this down time here?!"

I want to be content.

But my attitude these past two weeks has been anything but. I've wasted a lot of time being frustrated in not being able to have some much needed time away and over the blaringly apparent differences that have always been here, but because my attitude hasn't exactly been sunshine and roses, it has been robbing me of my contentedness and peace in my circumstances. 

Until Jesus blasted me like a freakin' pressure washer with some much needed encouragement from friends..the greatest of friends. Gentle reminders. Pointing me back to Christ. Pouring scripture and truth and prayers over me.

How thankful I am for the most incredible women in my life. How thankful I am that He doesn't leave us in our depleted condition, but is always seeking to restore and give strength and hope and peace and more of Himself for our benefit.

So, instead of brewing in frustration and disappointment, instead of focusing on the things we don't have and won't get to do, instead of dwelling on the places we won't get to go....

I am allowing Him to teach me the secret to be content in any situation whatever the circumstances, I am choosing not to conform to the pattern of this world, but being transformed by the renewing of my mind, and I am fixing my mind on anything that is excellent or praiseworthy.

That starts by having a thankful heart for where we do get to spend our summer break, the unique opportunities we will get to enjoy, and not focusing on what we don't have...but what do.

So, while we may not have a beach or lake, we do have a swimming pool. Of which we take full advantage of almost everyday.
We may not have parks or zoos for entertainment, but we do have one playground at Syd's school that we can use during the break.
The girls don't have any neighborhood friends, but they do have friends, and we haven't let a little bit of driving ever stop us from having play dates before.
We don't have cul-de-sacs, sidewalks, or curbs...but we do have a long driveway in our courtyard for riding bikes, and a big black gate that's perfect for chalk drawings.
There are no ice cream trucks in our neck of the woods, but we do have a delicious ice cream shop not far from the house that has the best chocolate crunch ice cream.
There are no fairs but we do have great exotic markets, though that's more up my alley than the girls.
There are no movie theaters or red boxes but we do have the option of downloading movies. Sometimes the download time is 61 hours so you have to plan far in advance...but we still have the option.
I don't have anything at this point that can substitute for fishing. That one will just have to wait.
And we may not get to leave Ouaga and visit the US this summer....but we do get to leave Ouaga for a few hours on Saturdays and visit Yako and see someone we love there. We also get to continue to visit our favorite little people here in town. And Sydaleigh gets to accompany us since she's out of school.

Thank you Jesus for a fresh perspective. Thank you Jesus for your blessings. 

So...our summer may not look the same. But it's still good. It's so so good. And it is praiseworthy. And I'm choosing to fix my mind on that.

Sydaleigh finished first grade!

Sydaleigh had an amazing school year, and I can scarcely believe it's over! We completed our first full school year! Hooray!!

It wasn't easy for her waking up at 6am every morning to be on the bus for 6:30am. It definitely wasn't easy for her to do her homework every day after school when she had already been in learning mode since the wee hours of the morning. But she did it. She powered through and she did it. And I'm SO proud of her!

She rocked the first grade and ended up receiving two certificates at the end of the year, one for the "Class Bookworm" for always having her nose in a book, and the other for "The Best Smile" because she always had a smile on her face! Those are some great awards to get if you ask me!

She is ready for a break but really excited to be moving into second grade, where she will now have her own table.

Here is Sydaleigh on her last day of school with her teacher Miss Babette.

On a field trip with her sis and all her girl friends from class.

All four girls from her class. Being totally outnumbered by boys, these kids stuck together and formed some great relationships with each other throughout the year.

To a great first year during school in Burkina! Ready for summer!!! 

Memories from the year....
Sydaleigh took djembé lessons, loved her swim lessons during p.e. the most, learned fractions and telling time, read well over 100 books, helped illustrate her classes big book, went on two field trips-one to the forest and the other to the artisnal village, received french lessons every day and now has a wonderful accent when speaking french, she has come so far in her spelling and math comprehension, her favorite times in class were when she got to do "choosing" and writing. She'd come home weekly with piles of paper stapled together for books she wanted to compile. And her favorite snack at the snack shack to get was FanMilk and FanChoco. 

Child labor in Burkina gold mines

Here is an article from Pulitzer Prize-winning photographer Larry C. Price highlighting a photo project he has done to expose child labor in Burkina. 

These are real people. This is happening where I now live. Please take the time to read and become more aware of the conditions children are forced to endure here. 

Please pray that photo documentaries like this will help bring enough attention to this issue in order to sway the Burkinabé government to begin enforcing the laws already established to prevent child labor from continuing. Please pray for a mentality shift in the people of authority here who are condoning this activity.

These children deserve better.....

An admission over dinner.....

I can't believe I'm about to admit this. Truly. This surpasses the post I did two posts ago. However, I believe that there will come a time when I will need to remember this and if I don't write it down for safe keeping it may get lost in the jumbled up mess of my brain and ten years down the road when I may need to blackmail someone or ward off evil boyfriends....this will come in handy. Plus it is just the absolute funniest thing ever....

It all started over dinner.....

We were sitting down to dinner this evening. We were all talking about this and that. Time was passing. "How's the chicken?" "Oh, it's yummy." "Everyone liking the couscous?" "Mmm hmm. Good."

Regular dinner talk stuff.

And then out of the blue, Marvelly looks slyly at Sydaleigh and asks, "did you tell mom what I did when we were outside playing?"

Sydaleigh's eyes get all big and she giggles, "no!"

Then Marvelly starts giggling. But no one says anything more.

So I ask, "Marvelly, what did you do outside?"

She replies...." I went poop."

Oh. my. gosh. I almost choke on my couscous. My head jerks back and now my eyes are buggin' outta my head. I glance over to Isaak and his eyes are stuck in the same shocked and locked position as mine. "I'm sorry, what did you say?! Did you say you went p-p-poop?!"

Both girls are giggling.

"Yeah. I went poop. Outside. In the bushes."

I'm sorry. I know I can't be hearing this right. I think, I may have just hallucinated those words coming out of your mouth. Rewind.....

"Wait a minute wait a minute. You went poop outside? Where?" 

This can not be true. She has got to be makin' this up. Marvelly would not just up and decide to poop outside when there are three perfectly good toilets in the house.


"Yeah. In the bushes, I told you."

Oh. my. gosh, she's dead serious! I'm bewildered. I glance over at Isaak and he can't hardly look at me, he's on the verge of erupting in laughter.

"What did you wipe with?"

"A leaf."

A leaf?!? You wiped your butt with a leaf?! My daughter just admitted to pooping in her own backyard in a bush and wiping her bum with a leaf! What the freakin' crap! (no pun intended)

"Well what did you do with it?" I ask.

"I covered it up with leaves and grass." Marvelly responds very proudly, like, of course she covered it up. Duh. Like she's gonna let her stankin' poo just sit out there exposed and uncovered.

I look at Isaak. We are both on the verge of losing it. I'm still in somewhat disbelief. So I tell Isaak, "quick, go outside and see if you can find it." As if it's like, treasure or something, when in fact it's poo. Clearly we have mental problems!

So off he goes, in the middle of dinner, to look for his daughter's poo in the back yard. The girls plaster their faces to the window and watch him walk out and there is Sydaleigh saying, "There he is! Look! He found it!" followed by more laughter.

Oh. my. gosh!!

Isaak comes in a few minutes later, with his mouth pulled tight to suppress his smile, and he just nods his head...yip....there was poop out there. She was tellin' the truth.

"Marvelly, why didn't you go in the house!? Or the bathroom that's already outside?!"

"There's a bathroom outside?!"

YES!

"I didn't want to."

Oh . my. gosh!!!!

What do you even say to that?! Who's kid does that?!

Eyeyeye. Marvelly, apparently. My hilariously silly overly animated little dainty shy button sized second born. That's who. What a funny kid. What a totally weird thing to do! Seriously, the things that go through kid's heads sometimes is so weird!

The rest of our conversation over dinner involved discussing the proper places to go poop when there is a toilet available. Our back yard is not one of them. I am aware that we live in Burkina and toilets may not always be available, and in the event that there is no toilet, then it is totally fine to go to the bathroom elsewhere. But at home...well, I'd prefer for them to not poop in the yard.

I can not even believe I just wrote that!

Marvelly nodded her head in agreement and then proceeded to eat her dinner with her hands.

Oh, Burkina. What the heck are you doin' to my kids?!?!

Some days...

Some days I am overwhelmed with the thoughts that I am not doing enough.

There's so much need.
There's so much suffering.

There's so many areas and ways to serve.
There's so many people to partner with.

Some days it is all a bit overwhelming.

Some days I feel like I will buck under the pressure.
The pressure of the needs around me.
The imaginary pressure of the world to change it all.
The self imposed pressure to do as much as I can to help while I'm here.

It is easy to feel discouraged. It is easy to feel inadequate. It is easy to feel overwhelmed.

Some days the weight of it all leaves me crippled.
And mad.
And sad.
And frustrated.

Some days, it is very hard to see the change.
To see the difference.
To see Jesus in it all.
To see myself in it all.

Some days all I can see is the brokenness. 
I have to strain to see the beauty.
Because beauty is not easily detected in these conditions.

Some days, I am really hard on myself.
My car stops next to the beggar in the street who has been standing in the median all day long with no shoes and I see his feet grotesquely blistered and burned from the scalding asphalt from the 110 degree days. Tears rise to the surface and I fight to push them down. My tears will not help him I think to myself. My tears and pity and compassion over his circumstances due him no good. They change nothing.

But I cry anyways.

The grim reality is that there are some things I can not change.
The grim reality here is that most things I can not change.
There is too much.

I talk about effective ways to serve the broken impoverish world and usher in change to bring about a self sustaining and thriving people.
But in reality, the reality in which I now live, I wonder if it's possible.

Some days, I want to look away but I'm unable to.
I want to forget but I'm incapable.
I want to run from the suffering but there's no where to flee.
I want to be broken but not feel the pain.

Some days, I wonder if it's possible to change a person's circumstances.
I wonder if it's possible to make a lasting difference.
I wonder when it all will end.
I wonder what I'm doing here.

Some days I wonder if I'm doing enough.
I question my time and commitments.
I question my motives for serving.
I search my heart.
I wonder what else I can be doing to help bring change to a country that seems impossible to change given the level of need.
I wonder if my little offerings of service are worth anything.
If it will have a lasting value.
If I should be partnering with such an such, or starting this or doing that.

I wonder what my purpose is here.

Some days, the weight of it all just brings me to my knees.
The constant constantness of it all.

Some days, simply put...are just harder than others trying to navigate life here.