Portrait Project at the new Lydia House

Last Saturday I did my first Portrait Project in the newly finished Lydia House, and it was amazing. The facility was spectacular, down to every last thought out detail. It was a little bit different than working in the old Open Door Mission building, this time we actually had to carry everything in ourselves! Don't get me wrong, I do not mind carrying my own equipment, that's not it! I just remember pulling up to the mission and watching the men rush out to the cars, eagerly awaiting to help unload and be of any service that they could. They never waited to be asked if they would help...they just helped, and they did it joyfully. It was very cool.

So this time, like I said...it was a little bit different. New building, new director, (I'm no longer working with Ronda since another gal took over the graduation program,) a new face in the hair department. The lovely Maggie, a professional hair dresser came with us this time and lent her hand to style up the graduates. Holly is no longer here so I was a gal down in the make-up department. But, turns out Liz just so happens to know a MaryKay consultant from Mops who donated a massive box of products for us to use. She was actually getting ready to drop off the box to the Lydia House when Liz called her, and was more than happy to donate to our cause. So in addition to providing make-up again we were able to put together little goody bags of product for the women to take home. I love seeing God provide!

But, despite all that newness....something else was different this time.
Something bigger.
Something I didn't anticipate happening.
Among the chaos and excitement of the day, working in a new location, working with new people....I did not photograph all new faces.
There were a couple among us that weren't new...and I almost missed it.

Every night before a portrait project I pray that the Lord would provide opportunities for me to connect with the men and women, to use me to uplift them, bless them, love on them, and share His love. I pray that I wouldn't get caught up in the chaos of the day, but that the Lord would give me His eyes, to see these men and women the way He sees them. So.....

The day started off hectic, as it typically does-trying to hurry and set up my equipment before everyone starts arriving. This time around I bought a new paper roll rather than use a muslin backdrop. I didn't want the hassle and time restraint of having to steam all the wrinkles out during setup, which takes forever, plus I just wanted to change up the look a little, so I went with a paper roll. But nothing is without complications and the backdrop, while seemingly more convenient without the ironing, the darn thing kept unraveling before I could clamp it. So, set up took a little bit longer than I anticipated and the graduates started filing in...early. Which meant I was already behind, and the day hadn't even started....

A number of the graduates had already come prepared and didn't take major use of the hair and make-up department this time around, so the lounge where I was set up was getting crowded with people waiting their turn. However, everyone was very gracious and laid back, not upset about starting late and waiting past their time. So I was able to crank out the first four graduates quickly and get back on schedule.

But, I was now in a zone. I allowed myself to get sucked into the chaos, and I was losing focus.

That's when the fifth graduate of the day stepped up. He was an African American man, tall, glasses, and wearing an outfit that complimented the background nicely. That's what I saw.

I started photographing him and was about ten frames into his session when I heard,

"Look at him."

At that moment I was looking at him through the viewfinder on my camera getting ready to take the next shot...I paused...."What?" I am looking at him" I thought back.

"No, look at him...not through him."

*exhale*......"Oh"

In the second that followed with the camera still up to my eyes, I finally looked at him. Stunned by what I saw I brought the camera down, looked at him face to face and said,

"hey, I know you."

"I've photographed you before."

When I finally looked at him I realized I recognized him from the very first session I held at the Open Door Mission a year ago. He was back. And I almost missed him.

He could see the perplexed look on my face, wondering why he was here again, and told me that he went back to jail and had to start all over.

*Gulp*

I was not expecting that. I've always gone into this thinking that this was it for them. This was their 'turning of the page', their new start, a chance at a new life leaving behind what brought them here. I don't know where this notion came from but in my ignorance I never once thought that I'd be photographing them again.

Charles wasn't the only "returning" graduate I photographed that day. I didn't realize until I got home and started sorting through the pictures that there was something familiar about another. She looked completely different. She had two kids with her this time. I never would have recognized her if it hadn't been for these little tattoos she has on her fingers. As I looked at her pictures and noticed those tattoos I thought,

"I've seen those before."

I looked back through the pictures from previous sessions and there they were, the same tattoos on the fingers of a girl I also photographed that first time with Charles a year ago. I was stunned. I couldn't believe it was the same girl. A year ago she was lively, energetic, warm, and more than anything else, confident...and proud. This time...she was reserved, quiet, and a lot more self conscious. Not having recognized her at the time I didn't have the opportunity to talk to her and find out why she was back. All I know is that she was back. Repeating the recovery program. And that made my heart hurt.

The rest of the day was amazing. God pulled the shades up off my eyes that I didn't know I had down. He provided opportunities to uplift, connect, bless...we laughed, and talked and joked. And He provided some serious insight into their lives that I was missing before. Realizing that, for some, it is not so easy to cut ties with their past. It still haunts them. It still taunts them. For some, their past doesn't care about the program they went through. Their past wants to destroy their recovery. It doesn't care that they've been clean and sober. The past fights with them to resurface. Their past wants to drag them back under.

For some, this isn't always a new beginning.

For many, this is a lifelong battle.

Their stories that led them here are heartbreaking. But the stories that are helping lead them OUT are hopeful. God fused. Determined. Many may waver...but at least they come back. They keep trying. They refuse to let their past circumstances win. They fight. And with God's help they.can.do it. We all can.

Meet two of the graduates I photographed....

This is Donald-I met him last September at the mission and I told him when he came back as a graduate not to shave his beard, I think it suits him nicely. He told me he didn't have anything else to wear to his session...and I told him that what he had on was great. Because it's him. And I thought it suited him nicely. We got to talk to him for a long time. He has been sober for one year...his longest time since the 1980's. In spite of everything he's endured, this man was so joyful, I mean, oozing joy, and I count it as a blessing to have been able to spend time in his company.

This is Clarence. Can you guess how old he is? Just take a gander before you scroll down and see.

Clarence is 54 years old. I know, I was stunned, I couldn't believe it either! Anyways, Clarence was awesome. I don't have tons to tell about him, I didn't get his life story or even what brought him to the ODM. We just shot the breeze. We mainly just talked about family, his family. He has a daughter named Paris who is studying to be a surgeon right now and that man is one proud papa, I pray she's proud of him too.

you can visit my photo blog at www.mjsphotoshoppe.com to see more pictures from this event.

A big THANK YOU to Kara, Liz, Amy and Maggie for volunteering your time and talents and working along side me!