O dishwasher, my dishwasher
how I hate you.
If I could take a sledge hammer and pound you into pieces I would
oh yes, I would.
I have had it up to here (five feet one inches in the air)
with your lackluster dish washing performances each day.
You repeatedly leave a mysterious white substance on all of my dishes that was not there upon arrival to your abode.
What is that white substance? I do not know.
Why can't you clean my silverware?
Every knife and spoon also has mysterious traces of noodles stuck to them after running your cycle.
We didn't eat noodles for dinner tonight
where did the noodles come from
where, oh where I ask?
Stop flipping over the plastic cups when I work very hard to anchor them in place
I don't like having dirty water dump out onto the dishes below all because you have some sick humor that likes to flip them over for kicks during your cycle.
Are you a woman dishwasher? Are you like tired or something, of people dumping their messes on you, and expecting you to clean it up for them?
Well sounds to me like you need an attitude adjustment.
or a sledgehammer.
I don't have a sledge hammer, but I can go buy one.
Oh yes, I can buy one.
So stop caking crap onto my dishes dishwasher, oh my dishwasher,
or me and you are gonna have to throw it down.
5 comments:
i think a throw down is in order. love ya
I CAN NOT tell you how AMAZING I thought your poem was. I think your evil lady dishwasher brought out a new talent for yours. You must write more, oh you must. Such talent should not be wasted on wishwashers alone.
I vote for the sledgehammer.
When you get the sledgehammer....bring it over here and you can use it on my dishwasher too!
Please know this. I share in your sentiments. However, when we called the dishwasher repairman out to address the issues of our dishwasher we discovered (after paying a large sum of money) that to repair the top rack that keeps falling down would require another (very expensive) service call and (very expensive) parts so that it would be cheaper to replace the said dishwasher. AND the reason the dishwasher never cleans dishes and leaves white residue is because the Obama administration passed a law not allowing nitrates (the salts that break down the hard water and make the cleaning agents in the dish detergent effective) illegal, and so you need to have pre-softened water for your dishwasher to work. We have tried some products at the store that are supposed to remove the deposits and had NO LUCK. So that is not your poor dishwashers fault. However, I would join you in sledgehammering, if I could. But I cannot afford a sledgehammer because I spent it all on the repair guy who didn't do anything. He was very nice, though.
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