That's.no.leaf.

Driving down the road. Windows rolled down. Girls in the back seats enjoying the crazy wind. Listening to music, day dreaming and driving on our way to the store.

Ahhhhh....life is good.


When all of a sudden out of nowhere I get pelted in the side of the head!

"BAAAH! Something flew in through my window!! It's.in.my.hair!! 

AHHHH! What is it, what is it?!?!?"

Sydaleigh- "Mom! Something came in the car!"

"I KNOW!! It's in MY.HAIR!!"

Freak out. Attempt to stick entire head out window....while driving. Hold wheel with right hand. Use left hand to frantically shake out whatever creature is trying to nest there. 

"Ewwww, I feel it!"

shake some more, and some more and some more.....

*swerve. 
try not to crash the car
freak out a wee bit more*

" I think I got it,"  

I say, not daring to look around or feel again in case I didn't. Better to be in denial about these things than to know I still had some mysterious creature on me and not be able to get it off cause I'm driving.

Sydaleigh-"Mom it's right there. Down by you!"

Freakin' aye!!

"Just calm down Melissa. It's probably only a leaf....it's only a leaf. It's windy, I'm sure a leaf just blew into the car and got caught up in your hair and that's all it was. The strange crunchy thing you felt in your hair....only a leaf...." I say to myself again and again trying to calm down my freak out mode. 

In the two years it took to get the the light two minutes away I finally stop, put the car in park real quick like, frantically pull off my buckle and lean away from my seat, not wanting to look but needing to know but the heck that was.....do I dare look???

Sydaleigh-"It's right down there!" 

"O.KAY!!"

I'm looking. 
I muster up my courage.
I inch my way to the edge of my seat, turn around slowly to frightfully inspect....

"WAHHHHH!!! 

It's.on.my seeeeeeaaat!! 

And that ain't no leaf!!

*shiver runs up my spine,

cringe all over*

"What.is.that.thing?!!?"

"What is it Mommy?" Sydaleigh asks just as concerned as I was. Well, maybe not as concerned....it didn't fly into her hair and land on her chair after all.

"Ick. I don't know" I say as I quickly inspect it and try to fling it out the window only to miss and have it land next to my door now.

The light turned green again so I have to sit back only to see that this creatures blood is now splotched all over the back of my seat, which I have to sit in. Swell. It gets caught up in my hair and now I have to rub all up in it's blood too? Come on!!

This is too much.

I 'm finally able to pull the car over and stop, and proceed to carefully exit the car just in case the creature is only stunned and spontaneously comes back to life and attacks me a second time.

And then I see his guts splattered all over the edge of my window....and thinks he's probably not coming back to life after all.

After inspecting it further all I could tell is that is was some mutant mix of a butterfly and grasshopper.

Which is apparently a locust, I later discovered. A giant locust. 

A GIANT locust flew into my car. And got caught inside my hair. Out of the grandness of the sky. Out of all the other cars on the road. Out of all the places to hit when the grandness of the sky isn't big enough for ya....I was the recipient of his poor sense of direction?!? Seriously...what are the odds?!

We were all a bit traumatized after that. If it hadn't been 90 degrees outside I would have rolled the windows up on our way home, not daring to push my luck again. Next time it'd probably be a bird knowing me. 

Take away.....

60mph+
no A.C.+
rolled down windows+
big hair+
flying critters=

inescapable death to any unfortunate critter, bird or any other flying species that gets caught up in my way....you will not be shown mercy. I will expel you from my hair in any way possible.

I'm gonna be so paranoid driving with the windows down for a good while I think.....