A precious gift on a frustrating day

I have been going through spurts where I'll be wide awake in the morning, eager to jump out of bed and spend some quiet moments with the Lord while the rest of the house lay sleeping. And other mornings...I am just dead to the world. Exhausted beyond belief. And getting up early and spending some devotional time with Jesus seems physically impossible.

But I have noticed, on the mornings when I am wide awake at an unreasonably early hour, it wasn't me that woke myself up. And it's those mornings that I know..."okay Lord, you got me up, you must have something to share with me. I'm gonna go downstairs and spend my morning talking it out with You."

And sure enough. Every morning that that happens, the Lord has something important to share with me. And this morning....He did as well. I woke up too early. Earlier than I would have thought for going to bed so late. But I knew that the Lord was calling me. So I crept downstairs and spent some time with him. The minutes ticked by and just as I was wrapping up my quite time I heard Isaak call to me from upstairs....

"Melissa! Look in your email! Jeff sent the pictures!"

I smiled. Jubilant. Racing to the screen. I have been waiting for this day. It might seem silly, but I had really been praying that the Lord would send us pictures of our house in Africa. I am a very visual person. And I had lots of reasons that I wanted to see it, but mostly, I just wanted to see the place that the Lord picked out for us. The home He has lovingly selected and set aside for us to live in these next two years. I just wanted to see it. But after many many delays in that department as well, we came to peace that we may not see it until we got in country. And that was fine. It really was. I certainly wasn't going to make a stink if we didn't get to see it before hand. I knew it was there. I knew that we had a home. And I was content to pray for it and over it sight unseen.

But what an unexpectedly sweet gift to get today. He just so delights in blessing our socks off. He so delights in blessing us with extra little gifts, simply because He loves us and delights in us. He knows every little nook and cranny of my heart. He knows all the little things that make my heart do back flips. And this morning, waiting in my inbox, was such a gift.

Oh, I can't describe how happy I was to see our house. And I love the Lord's perfect timing. He knew more than I just how much I would need to see these pictures after this morning.....

Because this morning we all had back to back to back doctor's appointments. Appointments to get prescribed anti-malaria medication. This was what I thought would be the last in a long line of appointments already had.

But no.

-After nearly three hours at the clinic we were told that we all need to come back yet again for additional appointments to get on malaria meds.

-We were told that the two times we have been cleared medically, was not enough, and now our paperwork is being submitted yet again for clearance.

-All those vaccinations we've had. Not enough. We have to come back for even more sticks.

I think we're done, and then discover that there are ten more hoops to jump through. And this is just medically.

When I look back on all we've gone through, and then forward at all that still needs to be done to get to Africa....it seems like too much.

I wanted to hang my head in defeat.

And then, He was there. Reminding me....

"Therefore, since through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart." -2 Cor. 4:1

This was the theme verse for the women's retreat I went on back in March. And I can't even describe how much God has used these words to encourage me. To refocus me. To bring my eyes back on Him. It's been way to easy to fix my eyes on my circumstances of late. To dwell in frustration and discouragement. And then today, when frustration surfaced again and threatened to strangle my hope away, He was there, bringing His words back to me. Cheering me on, "do not lose heart, I have a place prepared for you, I have called you to this ministry."

And then there I was. Standing in my home....in Africa. Everything else faded away. I was reminded that this, all this is temporary. God has a place prepared for us. He has a ministry in store for us. All these seemingly never ending hoops, will eventually get jumped through. But until they do....He has blessed us with a visual reminder of what's to come. A visual reminder of where we're going. A visual reminder to help take our eyes off of our frustrating present circumstances and fix them back on the Lord. To give Him thanks for what He's already done, and what is to come.

He has prepared a place for us. He has hand selected it. And it is here that we will live and serve Him. It is here that I pray others will find comfort and fellowship. It is here that I pray others will know His love. It is here that I pray we can bring Him glory and "declare the praises of Him who called us out of darkness into His wonderful Light." -1 Pt. 2:9

It is in this home, and in this country, that we have this ministry. And I will not lose heart.