9/11-revisited a decade later

We were newly stationed at Beale AFB in California, and it wasn't quite six in the morning when the first plane hit. I was still laying in bed, awake, but hadn't yet found the motivation to leave my warmth from under the covers. I remember Isaak being up, getting ready for work, busying himself in the living room in the back of our house on base.

I could hear him moving around, and he had the news on. I was still groggy with sleep but at some point in the next passing moments I noticed that the ants that liked to grace their presence in our house so much were having a party in my room, on the wall behind our bed. Not wanting to share my space with unwanted guests I scrambled out of bed to kill the trail of ants. And in kind of an instant Isaak rushed in, told me he had to leave for work NOW. I don't remember if I drove him to work that morning. I remember driving away from his work, but not getting there, or if Isaak was in the car with me. I remember looking at the windshield and seeing water droplets coming down and thinking that this was the first day since we moved here that it's rained.

And then I was home again. Glued to the tv. I had school that evening at the education center on base, which I quickly found out was canceled because the professors couldn't get on base.

No one could.

If you had the misfortune of being off base the morning of the attacks...that's where you stayed. If you needed to leave base the morning of the attacks, you were out of luck.

No one came in. No one went out.

I talked to Isaak on and off throughout the day. Lots of uncertainty. It was just all so surreal.

And then everything was different. We were new to the military life at this point, but the eight months prior to 9/11 looked very different after that morning. Our quiet base was completely transformed to a bustling parade of Humvees and tanks stocked with soldiers and rifles. They were on constant patrol. Every vehicle coming on base was searched. Blockades were set up. ID's were checked at every entrance point to any facility on base.

But in the midst of it all, on that tragic day, and all the crazy days to follow...I was never scared. Despite all the uncertainty, being new on a base, three thousand miles from home, secluded, alone, not seeing Isaak hardly at all....I remember feeling quite secure, actually. Maybe that was my naive 19 year old self. Maybe it was the Lord's all sustaining peace at work. I think it was both. I was definitely naive. But I most definitely had peace. Security. Looking back, that's something only the Lord could have provided in such a time. That is something only the Lord can provide, period....

"There were fifteen or twenty people in the area directly around me. 

Some people, seeing the dust coming toward them and thinking, as I had, that it was coming from in front of them, had run back into the building. 

Tragically, they were crushed by the building as it collapsed on top of them. 

I, however, didn't run back, but stood still, arms by my side, 

clutching my cell phone as a symbol of a connection to my wife. 

Those of us who were outside came together and began to form a huddle-

each of us, men and women, piled one on top of the other. 

Each of us wanted the other to provide cover and protection; 

we wanted the sense of connection to other human beings, 

because we couldn't run ahead and we couldn't run back into the building. 

None of us wanted to be alone or lonely. 

At that moment, something in my heart told me that, 

while I had asked where I was going and had been assured by my faith, 

those around me might not have asked the same question of themselves. 

I was filled with anxiety for them. 

I started crying out, 'Call upon the name of the LORD and you will be saved.' 

What I meant was not that we would all get out of the situation alive, 

or that only those who called upon God's name would be allowed to live. 

I thought we were all going to die. 

What I wanted was,

for everyone around me to have the confidence of knowing where they would end up, 

once we all were killed. 

Based on our faith and our walk with the Lord, I thought, we could either end up in heaven or hell.

Even though I was speaking in my own voice, I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to everyone around me.

I forgot my surroundings and started calling out Jesus' name as loudly as I could. 

I called upon the entire group to do the same, 

and we all did. 

We were sobbing and yelling, 

as the ash began to descend on our bodies. 

For what seemed like five minutes, 

although it was probably only a few seconds, 

we called out Jesus' name.

At the crucial point in their lives, when death was facing them, 

this diverse group of men and women, 

of many different faiths 

and perhaps with no faith at all, 

whom I did not know 

and would never meet again,

did not undertake any other practice, spiritual or otherwise, 

than calling upon Jesus. 

I truly believe that, in such a situation, 

the name of Jesus is so powerful that it overwhelms the most desperate of circumstances 

and calms the most terrifying of fears. 

Irrespective of your faith or cultural background, 

it is the one name under heaven and earth that can save you."
-Excerpt from Sujo John's book "Do You Know Where You Are Going?" 
about his miraculous escape from the 81st floor of Tower One on 9/11 and the saving grace of Jesus Christ

Today, ten years later, as I reflect on that tragic day, I am challenged once again to live in the reality that I have limited time.....

“Show me, LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is."-Psalm 39:4

To make my life count. Right now. To not wait. To live boldly. To live my life full tilt for the Lord. To be willing to put my life on the line because I know that God is with me. To rest in the assurance that He will never leave me nor forsake me. To really live. To move and take risks despite the fear and uncertainty that seeks to pull me back. Because while I can't control when I die, or how I die, I can control how I live....and Jesus is worth living for. He is greater than any fear. He is stronger than all uncertainty. He is mightier than death itself. And I want my life to honor Him. Plain and simple. 

"May I never forget this day Lord. And since my days are numbered would you teach me what it means to really live?"