Lent

I am 28 years old. In my 28 years I'm sure that I have participated in the season of Lent before, but thinking back, I can't remember when...only knowing that I'm sure I must have. This struck me as really sad. Knowing that I must have but not remembering when...hmm...well, it must not have been that life altering.

I felt a real stirring in my heart to take part in it this year. No, I'm not Catholic, but Lent is not strictly observed by Catholics, nor should it be. Lent is meant as a time of reflection and sacrifice leading up to Easter. And I felt compelled to participate this year. Since it's always better to suffer with friends :) all the women in my bible study are going along for the ride too. :) What a ride it is.

Many of the gals in my group are doing Lent for the first time, and all of us have committed to giving up something that is truly a test to go without. It's Day 3, it's hard, it's testing, but I can't wait to see the journey the Lord brings us all on these next 37 days.

At first I decided that I would give up sweets because Lord knows I love me some treats. Leading up to my decision I thought about what I should sacrifice and I just couldn't think of anything that would be a struggle for me to go without, except for sugar. So, as I stood in the kitchen preparing dinner, listening to music, thinking about not ingesting sugar for over a month, my eyes fell upon a bag of Honey Nut Cheerios, and I remembered that I couldn't stick my hand in the bag and casually munch on them anymore...so, in my weakness, I grabbed a handful of saltine crackers instead. As I was shamelessly stuffing my mouth full of salt instead, a new song came on the radio I hadn't heard before. It got my attention, but the kitchen was full of chatter so I ran out of the room to go find the name of the song and artist from the station it was on. It was then that the Lord showed me something that would be a greater struggle to go without than sugar. After all, what good was my sacrifice if I was just going to replace it with salt?

So, He very point blank asked me, "would you give up music for me?" (I love those moments when God speaks so clear you just can't deny hearing Him). I really wanted to at that moment.

Music is everything to me. More specifically, worship music is everything to me. I have my music playing in the morning during breakfast, while I'm in the kitchen making lunch, while we're eating lunch, while I'm making dinner, while I'm in the car, while I'm cleaning or doing anything that would be a little easier with some music in the background. Music transports me somewhere else. It helps lift my spirit when I'm down. It excites me further when I'm happy. Music is my ultimate form of worship. I love it. I love listening to the artists sing the most beautiful words that I feel so eloquently describe what I couldn't put into words myself.

So, back to His question..."would you give up music for Me?"

"Ughhhhh" was my first response.

As I stood there, momentarily contemplating whether I could do this or not, He told me why, "I want to hear your words, I want to hear your heart's song...not someone else's."

Well, shoot, this is gonna be harder than I thought. But, I knew, that I wouldn't want it to be easy. I didn't want to sacrifice something that I wasn't going to have to depend on Him to go without. Yeah, it may sound silly to be that attached to music, but I am. Like I said, it's been my ultimate form of worship for close to 10 years. So by taking away my music, God is teaching me to worship Him in a new way. A way less familiar. He is taking me out of my comfort zone and challenging me to connect with Him in a new way.

I can't wait to see where He leads me come Easter. I'm betting I won't be the same....