Wellspring-a year in the making

I had the most distinct pleasure today of bringing the Portrait Project to the Salvation Army's Wellspring program. And oh how my heart has been waiting for this day.....

I first came to hear about Wellspring well over a year ago as I was driving in the car and a Salvation Army ad came on the radio. I don't remember the specifics of the radio promo but I do remember it mentioning Wellspring and how this program seeks to support, educate and rehabilitate women in the prostitution industry.

I didn't need to hear anything else. I was done. I was all in. I wanted to get involved.

But, these things don't always move quickly.

And in this case...it took over a year. Over a year of really encouraging emails and enthusiasm, but then working out the logistics just never got off the ground. Discouraged, I put this on the back burner. Until a few months ago, I felt the Lord encouraging me to try again. To seek them out again. He had been gently nudging me back in their direction for a while and I kept putting it off and putting it off. Simply because, quite frankly, I didn't want to see it go no where....again. That's discouraging. But, after the Lord's gentle nudges turned into aggravating persistence I prayed....


"okay God. I hear ya. I'm trying again. But this is as far as I can go. I can only make myself available to serve them....I can't make them take me up on it....so you've got to work out the rest. Lead me to someone who can be proactive in helping me get involved. Grant me favor in their eyes."

So that day I sat down at the computer, determined to put myself out their again, so that at least I could say...."I tried!"

And then low and behold, within a matter of minutes, I came across a new name of a gal in the Salvation Army that looked promising. This is an incredibly large scale organization and just simply getting in touch with the right contact can be extremely challenging. And while she didn't appear to work directly with Wellspring, I was hopeful she could put me in touch with someone who did. So, I sent her an email, telling her about the Portrait Project and all that jazz. And then I put it in the Lord's hands. Trusting that He would see to it that email got to the right set of eyes.

And five days later, she got back to me...with another name to contact. So, I contacted her....and then sixteen days later I heard back from her...with another name to contact. And then six days after that, the first gal I contacted sent me the direct line for the program director of Wellspring. BINGO!

It took A LOT of doors...but the Lord kept opening them up until I made it through the one that would bring me to where I went today. Only the Lord I tell ya. After over a year of closed doors, wrong people, information falling through the cracks and going no where, He brought me to just the right people, at just the right time, to finally make this happen. Oh, sweet Jesus. He is so good.

Things kept moving fast from there. After two weeks and a couple of phone calls later, we had it all set up for me to come this afternoon. I recommended waiting until the end of October but she said the gals were so excited they didn't want to wait. So, with a weeks notice....I frantically put it together. Enlisted some help, as always. :~)

Beccy, Brandi, and Susan came out to serve with me and there are no words for my thankfulness for them. I was worried I wouldn't be able to find any one who could come on such short notice, but again, the Lord provided. I've never done a mid week Portrait Project before, and I knew that getting help would be more difficult, but Mary (the program director) told me that Tuesday's were the best day for them because the women were already slated to be at the center in the afternoon, and this way more women would be able to participate because they wouldn't have to rearrange schedules to come on the weekend. And...I've been waiting for this chance...I wasn't going to make them bend to me, and my schedule and the way I always do things. I was going to bend. I was going to accommodate them. No matter how much more challenging it was to work out....I was going to come at a time that was convenient for them. And trust God to work out what needed to be worked out.

And He did. Because He's cool like that. :~)

And He's faithful. And ultimately....this thing isn't mine anyways. It's the Lords. It was His idea. It's for His glory. It's for His purpose. And He's going to work out the details to make sure nothing stands in the way of the lives He's waiting to be loved on.

So, onto today.

I photographed nine gals and five kids. And the first time there hasn't been any men! Which of course meant that things didn't exactly run on schedule! It's funny because men want to get in and out. Five minutes. Bust out some poses. Be done. But with all chics...even the ones who are self conscious (which is usually all of them) they were perfectly content sitting and posing for as long as I asked them to!

It was a glorious time filled with lots of laughing.

I made a new playlist, which is key to a good Portrait Project. :~) We danced to Michael Jackson and the Beatles and lots of other fun tunes to get the ladies relaxed and having fun. And it was fun. Mary had some snacks brought in for everyone to munch on while we waited. The back of the room was set up with all the hair and make-up. I brought oodles of product that a Mary Kay consultant generously donated to me for Portrait Project a while back and let the ladies leave with some extra goodies. That in itself...just seeing their response in realizing they can take free product home. Made my heart sigh big sighs. And smile. Small things go a long way.....

I was talking to Mary (program director) in between sessions and as we stood off to the side she said to me,


" ya know, these women are so excited to be here. They couldn't wait for today. None of them have ever had their photos taken like this (mug shots don't count). None of them have family pictures. A lot of these women have lost kids and they don't have any physical memories to look back on to remember their children. No family portraits on the walls. This means a lot to them."

Again....small things go a long way. I don't think I can be reminded of that enough. How easily do we take that for granted. Take for granted the fact that not only do we have walls decorated with family pictures, but we have heaps of albums stuffed with pictures, computers storing hundreds of photos just from our last weekend together. Most of us don't exactly have a picture shortage of ourselves or our families.

But, can you imagine not having a single picture, not.one.physical.memory to look back on to remember your family??

I can't.

Back in Florida when the Lord first gave me this idea that was exactly what He showed me. Doing Portrait Project as a way to give people living in homelessness and poverty physical, tangible memories. Something that they could at the very least carry with them in their pocket, to look at, and smile on. To hold.

And yesterday, I was able to hear and see first hand that reality for these women. To hear from Mary their deep burning desire for something as simple as a picture. To see their faces light up with joy when I told them I would give them a whole packet of pictures...for free!

After the sessions were over, as we packed everything up Mary said, "I saw these women filled with joy today! I work with these women, I see them in the building, and they don't have joy. They don't smile. They don't really want to be here. They don't interact with each other. But today, I saw them smiling. I saw them laughing. I saw them having fun. I saw them start out stiff and rigid and quiet, and then loosen up and relax. I saw them interacting with each other and encouraging each other while they waited their turn. They had joy!"

Wanted to cry when she told me that. Again, because getting to be a part of God's plan never fails to leave me awed. To see Him not only use Portrait Project as an opportunity to provide physical memories, joy, self worth, value, Jesus....but to see Him use this as an opportunity to bridge connectedness between the women! To see them interacting and encouraging each other! To see God break down walls and barriers and social awkwardness to connect and pour into each others lives!
Wow! That is God right there! How cool. Such a "whoa" moment for me. I don't even have words beyond that. Just tears.

I asked a lot more questions, wanting to gain a deeper understanding of these women and their circumstances and background. The bitterness of reality for these people I serve never fails to break my heart....

"Human trafficking is not very prevalent in Nebraska so these women actually come to be involved with prostitution for a different reason. There's two reasons in particular. One...they have been subjected to sexual abuse since childhood and they figure they've been forced to do it for free for family their whole lives, might as well do it as an adult and get paid for it. And second...most of the women have chemical addictions and prostitution in the quickest easiest way to get money to support their habit. And most of the women who have chemical addictions started using in childhood...childhood. Example, one gal who came through the program was first exposed to drugs when her parents made her do meth when she was just 11 yrs. old. Another gal's mom drank herself unconscious every night and the child would finish off the alcohol that was left out. We used to do street outreach but found it to be unproductive. We'd go into the streets but the women would be so high they wouldn't even remember talking to us. So now we go straight to the jails. And the women that we serve are mainly older women in their late 30's, 40's and 50's. Why? Because they've been living on the streets engaged in prostitution some for over 25 years and they want something else. The younger gals, who haven't been rotted away from the lifestyle yet are harder to rescue. Most times it's easier to get them to walk away from prostitution than it is to walk away from drugs." (-conversation today with Mary, program director)

Hearing that made me heart break open and spill out everywhere. An incredibly hard life to leave behind. So much pain and brokenness. So much need....

"Two women, who have been working the streets of Omaha as prostitutes for more than 10 years, said they found a way out through a program sponsored by the Salvation Army. The women said they realized their lives were going nowhere and were just getting worse. They said they got help from the Wellspring program. With October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month, they wanted to get their stories out.

 Delores (not her real name) is about 45 years old. The high school graduate and one-time college student worked the streets for more than a decade. "While enrolled in college, I just got mixed up with the wrong people and from there it went downhill," she said. Delores said she turned to drugs and then to prostitution. She said she couldn't stop. "It was a very dangerous life I was living," she said.

 Cece (also a pseudonym) has a similar story. "It was like an adventure. It was fun. I was like getting this money. It was fast and I really didn't have to do nothing to get it," she said. Cece was a prostitute for nearly 20 years. She said what started out as being fun, eventually proved otherwise."Throughout those 20 years, I've been stabbed, I've been raped, I've been shot at," she said. "By the grace of God, I'm sitting here telling my story today."

If it weren't for the Salvation Army's Wellspring program, both women said there is no telling where they'd be. "Prostitution isn't a choice," said Mary Raynovich, the director of Wellspring. "We find that it's really about a lack of choices." Raynovich said she works with as many as 100 women every month. About 73 percent of them have been sexually abused and roughly 90 percent of them are chemically addicted, she said. But, no matter how troubled some of the women are, Raynovich said they are not a lost cause. "No matter how long you've been on the street, there's hope. You can get off the street," said Raynovich."-from "Stories" in Salvation Army's Western Division

And it is here God led me. To serve these women, along side this amazing program that is literally helping to rebuild lives. To restore, mend, heal, share, and love. And ultimately, to point them to the One who can bring true redemption. God's grace is strong enough to make clean anything, anyone, no exceptions. It doesn't matter what you've done, how long you've done it, what the world has told you....Jesus heals. His grace is free for the taking. And strong enough to restore the most broken of lives.

What a joy to have been given the opportunity to serve them. What an honor...to know that He has entrusted me, me, regular ole' me, to help pour love into these people. That He whispered me this idea. Never...I never woulda guessed ten years ago in college when I was pouring over prints in the darkroom until the wee hours of the night with other students, eager to learn, dreaming of our futures in photography, all the things we wanted to do....

...never once could I have imagined God would use me like this. All the different lives and pains and realities He's exposed me to....through photography, blessing the broken. What a ride it's been. One thing is for certain...following the Lord is never dull. :~) He is not a boring God! And my heart is overflowing with gratefulness.

It was a great day sharing God's love.