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Friday, May 29, 2015

Reflecting on our first month back in the U.S. with words....

I started writing this while in the hospital with Steven last week. When I started writing this we were at 21 days back in the U.S., but I didn't have time to finish this post then....so now it's eight days later, and here I am, still trying to update on our life's events here this past month.

And what a month it's been so far. Life has been moving fast since we returned. We have found ourselves in many stressful situations but also benefited from some moments of rest in the midst of it.

For that we are thankful.

While I was at the hospital I wrote this one morning....

"We are still at the hospital, which is pas bon. But we should be leaving soon...which is bon. Also on the upside, Steven has gotten two nights of really good sleep so he is well rested and in good spirits. I, on the other hand am feeling quite tired, which is also pas bon. I tried sleeping on the pleather rocking chair last night in hopes of it offering a better nights sleep than the pull out chair...but I was mistaken. It did not. The vent pushing out icy cold air on top of me all night long didn't help either. Nor did the distressed little girl scream crying for hours in the middle of the night right next door to us. Poor thing. I felt so bad for that family last night...while also very selfishly feeling bad for me because I was tired and again couldn't sleep because of her screaming. The tug of heart that happens when you are feeling both compassion and irritation simultaneously...Romans 7:21-23 comes to mind right about now...I think Paul can relate to my struggle.....

But I was reminded last night when I was tempted to complain and get frustrated and throw a rockin' pity party due to my less than ideal sleeping accommodations...is that this cold room and this reclinable rocking chair is more comfortable than sleeping on a nat on the ground of a dusty mud brick home. It is more comfortable than sleeping on an airplane seat. It is more comfortable than sleeping in a hard back chair in a clinic in Ouaga filled with mosquitos. I may have been shivering cold but it's more comfortable than the 14 hour power cuts and water cuts affecting almost the whole city of Ouagadougou currently due to lack of fuel and power. All situations that many many people I know are at this very moment having to endure."

Perspective is a great antidote for self pity.  (I'm just gonna give myself an "Amen!" on that one.)

I am not perfect. I don't act perfect or think perfect, but I've learned some things along the way in this life of mine...and this one has been key. Like I said, perceptive is a great antidote for self pity, which I am very prone to indulging in at times. =) So having some good proper shifting of perspective has served me well these last few years and definitely since returning back stateside. Keeps me focused on the right things and helps keep me from becoming overwhelmed by life's challenges and stresses.

Speaking of life, here is a rundown on our first month back....

-our first night back the hotel informed us they messed up our reservation and could not give us a pet friendly room that we requested and said we'd have to kennel our cat the duration of our time on base. Umm, nooo. I will not kennel my cat because of your mistake. So, we've had to be super careful about keeping our cat's presence here a secret (making me a bit worrisome because if they find out they'll kick us out.) Which means not allowing housekeeping into our room the entire time we've been here! I think they are growing suspicious, as I've had the "do not disturb" sign in place since we've got here. I heard (and saw through my peep hole-I may be slightly paranoid when they're outside my room that they are going to try to come in anyways or look through my garbage and discover the kitty litter in there....what can I say, a part of me still thinks I'm in Burkina and people are going to go through my garbage). Anyways, two workers were outside my room saying, "think we'll get in there on Monday?" "I don't know, she won't take the card outta the slot." They know somethin's up. Thankfully only three more days to go until this stress is gone and they can come in here and clean to their hearts content! (for the record, they will be very surprised to see that I have maintained a very tidy and clean space without their help. Thankfully we have a washer and dryer to clean all our stuff, and also a vacuum (that we ordered and shipped to my brother while in Burkina, that we expected to use for our new house...but is now serving us well in the hotel!)

-speaking of our home....upon returning to the states we realized the home we were under contract to purchase, the one we were buying site unseen from Burkina (*note to self-don't e.ver try to buy a home site unseen again...too risky)......was in fact not going to work for our family. Major major major disappointment.

-after a lot of thought and prayer we decided to terminated our contract on that home (five days before closing, yup, we did that) and start the house hunting process over. We lost money (no one likes to forfeit money) which was a downer but it was ultimately the right decision and we had complete peace.

-due to the fact that we were initially so sure about this home and since it was so close to our closing date we started using this address for mailing purposes (*note to self....don't be this dumb again!)...and had Steven's citizenship certificate mailed there (major DOH! moment right there). We may have to go stalk their mailbox now to retrieve that incredibly important piece of paper...in the event they don't rip it to shreds out of spite...which is a real possibility....

-since we wouldn't be living in that home we had to inform the school district the girls were zoned to attend that they would no longer be attending that school

-without a home in the works we could no longer register the girls to go to any school, which was a problem as there was still six weeks left in the school year and they needed to enroll in a school in order to finish the year and move onto the next grade

-started looking into alternative means of schooling for the girls but neither private schools, homeschool, or virtual schools were not an option at this point

-we've had many appointments at Walter Reed for Steve already (driving in D.C. is for sure gonna make my hair turn gray)

-we started house hunting again....this time in person. We toured many homes and found one that we really liked in a great neighborhood and a great school district and put an offer in on it

-a week after we terminated our contract on home #1 we received a call from our realtor saying the owners of home #1 refused to sign our termination contract and were threatening us with a lawsuit if we didn't move forward with the purchase. That was stressful. Less than two weeks of being in the U.S. and someone was already threatening to sue us. Freakin' sue happy Americans.

-the day after we received that unfortunate news we were informed that the bank accepted our offer on the new home (it was a foreclosure...diamond in the rough style foreclosure....but it can definitely be a sparkly diamond again. Renovation here we come!....*cue nervous laugh....*)

-I was informed the following day that we would be allowed to enroll the girls in school if we could provide documentation with our future home address to establish temporary residency...hallelujah!

-that weekend we traveled to Delaware to visit Jordan and Becca! It was also Isaak's birthday!

-when we returned from Delaware on Sunday Steve got very very sick

-the following day me and the girls spent a few hours getting them enrolled at their new school (holy mother of paperwork!)

-when I returned that afternoon Steve's health was getting more concerning and his doctors advised us to take him to the emergency room, so off Steve and Isaak went to the ER

-Steve was transferred that night via ambulance to Walter Reed with Isaak in tow.

-the next morning I took the girls to their first day of school, met our house inspector at our hopeful new home for the four hour house inspection ( I said it was a diamond in the rough...there's just a bit more rough than diamond at this point)....and then on the way home from picking up the girls we drove straight to Walter Reed so I could stay with Steve and Isaak could return to work

-Isaak took care of the girls for the next few days and went to work while I stayed at the hospital with Steven

-while in the hospital I found out that the owners of house #1 signed our termination contract and re-listed their home, so we should not be hearing from them again about a lawsuit....that was a welcome relief

-the day after Steve was discharged from the hospital we drove to Richmond to spend two days with family for Memorial weekend

-since we're staying on base but the girls are going to school in the town we're set to move to, I have been driving 2hour20minutes every single day to transport the girls to and from school....that is a lot of driving....and gas money

-this week we were told that our hotel on base did not approve our extension request to stay here longer so we have to leave on Monday, as our standard 31 days is up (and since the home we're buying is a foreclosure the bank is making us wait 45 days instead of the standard 30 until settlement) so on Monday we have to move somewhere else.

-trying to find a short term one month rental in this particular area near the girls school this time of year has proven impossible. They are all booked clear until September or cost $3000 a week as this is a recreational/resort area

-on Wednesday Isaak found one place available to rent until the girls finish school mid June. That's a huge praise. Downside is there is no internet there (I will survive. I hit up the library this morning to stock up on some books.) Another downside is it's waaaay further south and my driving time will increase to 4 hours (deep breaths) every day to bring the girls to and from school... (there may not be any money left to bring the sparkle back to our house because we're going to deplete our bank account on GAS! Holy moly.)

-at least it's only for 19 days though. Because once the girls finish school we're going to have to find someplace else to stay until we close on our home. I don't know where that will be yet. I am not thinking about that yet. One day/week at a time right now.

-That will put us in three temporary homes in two months. Wowzers.

-also somewhere in all of this we bought another vehicle, minivan #2

-rewind to minivan #1 that we bought over the phone while still in Burkina (*note to self-stop buying stuff like cars and houses while living in another country!) Turns out when we went to register it a couple weeks ago, we couldn't, due to problems with the paperwork and then the tags ended up expiring, so we couldn't drive it, so when we drove to Richmond this past weekend we tried to schedule an appointment with the dealership to rectify the situation, but they were closed for the holidays, so they sent us the paperwork this week to our PO Box on base (thank goodness we have some kind of address) and thanks to some handy forgery on my part of my mom's signature on the title (permission received) we were able to register minivan #1 today! and get non expired non temporary plates for it.

This is the latest in the whirlwind of crazy we've found ourselves in since returning. All of this while dealing with a heavy dose of reverse culture shock (which is very real and I have no shame and no pride in admitting that I have struggled with this since returning).

Not all of it has been stressful. Lots of it has...just trying to juggle all the details of life and living and housing and paperwork and school and sickness and dr.'s appointments and how to function here again in the midst of it all.

But we're doing okay. We're making it. Trying to keep a good perspective on our circumstances. We're hanging in there and making the best out of life and finding moments to laugh and smile and rejoice. But we are more than ready to settle and find a new normal and not be living out of suitcases anymore. We are ready to figure out what life is really going to look like for us here when the crazy starts to mellow out and life becomes a little more predictable and we have a routine that doesn't involve spending heinous amounts of hours in the car driving every day. =)

But in the meantime we're just kinda riding the waves...waiting to reach the shore.....

3 comments:

Georgia said...

isaac's storm seems like such an appropriate book right now!!! love you guys and glad you have vehicle #1 back on the road. see you in a few weeks! we're ready to move you in here if you need/ want it!

Liza said...

Wow. What a busy month!! And I can't believe it's been a month either. Praying for some stability to come your way soon. You are obviously providing great stability and peace for your kiddos in the midst of all this - and I know Where you get that from, too :) Love to you all.

D'Ache' said...

Praying for you guys. You're hanging in there and doing great at it. :-)