A battle I was willing to have.

I try to pick my battles with my kids. Some fights aren't worth having. Some are. Some lapses in judgement I extend with grace. Others times a punishment is necessary. It's a difficult balance to read each situation and decide how best to handle it. But this is one battle I decided was worth having.

This part of being a parent really stinks. It's completely necessary though. But stinks nonetheless....

Monday night after dinner Sydaleigh was given two girl scout cookies for a treat. After eating her cookies she comes into the kitchen and tells me that she didn't like the cookies and wants a different treat instead.

"Did you already eat the cookies?" I ask.

"Yes," she replies.

"Well, then you don't get another treat."

"But I want a piece of my Easter candy," she says.
 

"You should have told me before you ate them that you wanted something else. You know you only get one treat after dinner, and you ate yours. Sorry. You can have a piece of Easter candy tomorrow." 

Sydaleigh walks away and I go back to what I was doing, thinking that was the end of that.

However......however, however.....I mosy into the living room a few minutes later and discover Sydaleigh with a pile of Easter candy next to her, and a pillow propped up in front that she is using to conceal her face while she eats a piece.


"Whatcha doing Sydaleigh?"

"Oh, oh, LOOK MOM! This candy has letters written on it, see!!" she says trying to distract me.

"Uh huh. That's nice. Were you eating candy without permission?" I ask, knowin' darn well that she was. But still giving her an opportunity to disclose her behavior.

"Noooo." she says SUPER unconvincingly. (*shoulders slump* shoot. Here we go....)

Kids have such an incredible way of blindsiding a parent with frustrating behavior. Life will be going along smoothly. Everyone will be happy and going about their business, "Oh, I love you." "Please" and "thank you's" abound. Sounds of voices helping each other and compliments go wafting through the air. And then all of a sudden.....

WHAM!!!

Your kids split personalities rear their monstrous heads. Their eyes are buggin' out of their sockets. They're totally freakin' out. And you're standing there scooping your jaw up off the floor wondering what the crap just happened to your Kumbayain' kids just a second ago.

But you can't show fear, or bewilderment. Or they'll chew you up and turn you into sawdust like termites on wood.

After her little lie, I made sure to maintain composure and not "react" so I sent her to her room. Which was followed by lots of shrieking. Which was then followed by a partial truth of her eating the candy by accident. (Uh huh. Yeah, right. Like I'm gonna believe that one. The candy just jumped into your mouth!) Anyways, a partial truth is still a lie. Which was followed by a full disclosure of her eating the candy on purpose. Which was proceed by lots more crying and general hysterics.

Oye. I could tell this one was gonna take a while.

I thought/prayed for a minute about a suitable punishment for her disobedience and her lying. I don't like being put into a position where I have to usher out punishments, and my girls have to endure them. It's no bueno for everyone. And if I have to punish my kids for wrong doing, I want it to be intentional discipline and not simply a frustrated reactive response.

So, I heard the Lord whisper a suitable consequence for her behavior...and oh lordy...I knew when I uttered those words....she was gonna fa-reak! But, seen as how she was already hysterical from anger, resentfulness, and shame...well, now was as good of a time as any.

I told her that as a consequence for her lying and disobedience she had to take her Easter candy and dump it all in the garbage. 

Of course, she was furious. She just got all that candy just the day before during an Easter egg hunt with her friends. And throwing it all away seemed like the greatest travesty she would ever have to endure. She told me and Isaak how mean we were. Fumed how unfair this was. But after a considerable amount of talking about sins and the consequences of our behavior, she took her Easter basket, walked up to the trash, and dumped it in all by herself. Which for some reason was harder for her than her candy just being thrown away. She kept asking me and Isaak to do it. She wanted us to throw it away. But we needed for Sydaleigh to do it. To hold her own candy in her hands, and see how her actions resulted in it being thrown out. As a reminder, to make better choices the next time she's tempted to be disobedient.

Apologies and forgiveness were exchanged. Freedom reigned. Burdens were unloaded. And prayers drifted up to Heaven that He would take this situation and outcome and implant it on her heart. That, in the future, when she's tempted to do wrong, she would remember this day and choose the right way, instead of her way.

And I just pray that these little opportunities to teach and disciple will shape my girls to be obedient not just because they're trying to be agreeable...but because obedience leads to freedom. Freedom from sin. And regret. And shame. And hurt. And that through this all they are drawn closer to Christ.

 I don't want my children stumbling through life. I want them to walk with assurance and confidence in what they know is right. And that is learned one lesson at a time. 

Whoa. This parenting thing is hard stuff.

But, it's worth it. As hard as it is at times, it's worth it.