Sharing God's story in front of 1000+ people

I was asked a couple weeks ago if I would speak to our church this Sunday about what God has done in my life and that of our "Got Questions" small group over the past three years.

I have to admit....there have been moments where I daydreamed about doing this very thing. Standing up in front of so many, and sharing God's story in my life these past couple years.

But then, I was actually asked to do it. And, I quickly realized that the Melissa in my daydreams, and real life Melissa, are like two totally different people. Because the Melissa I dream myself to be is fearless, up for anything, always says the right thing, never awkward or embarressed.

But real life Melissa....yeah.....ummm....she's got a looong way to go to live up to that!

I.have.never.been.so.nervous.in.my.life.

I'm talking....the kind of nervous where you actually think that you will throw up. Like, you can feel your stomach churning.

I have never felt that kind of nervousness before....well, until Sunday. And I had to live through it twice! Because I had to speak at both services.

Now, I am so grateful and so humbled that I had this opportunity. I can't even fathom why out of the whole church they would ask me. But clearly God had a plan for my words and I'm just praying that there was someone's ears He was specifically wanting them to fall on. But still blows my mind...that God would use me in such a public forum.

And Brookside is a big church, so this was a big forum.

And I have never done anything close to speaking in front of so many people before....so standing up there was no easy task for me. But, I couldn't turn it down. When God gives you a platform to bring Him glory, you don't say no. So I was gonna walk those stairs, up that stage, and give Him praise, even if I had to hold a throw up pail next to me while I did it. :~) Luckily it didn't come to that.

I had three minutes each service to share. Which only added to my nervousness.

Because for a girl who grew up in a strait up Pentecostal church....three minutes.....oh Lordy....our church services would last for three hours! Pentecostal churches don't really run their church on a schedule. No. No. They would tell you the Holy Spirit led the service, so if they felt the Spirit leading them to keep on singing one song for thirty minutes....Lord knows you were gonna be singing one song for thirty long minutes. But then worship would last another hour. And it would be another thirty minutes before the pastor could get up there because everybody had to get out their prophecies and speak in tongues before you could even hope for a sermon. :~)

I miss those days. :~)

So three minutes had me hyperventilating a little bit. I can be kinda long winded.

But with the help of Rob our worship leader we came up with a pretty good summary. If only I had actually listened to him when he told me I'd be up there all alone...instead of hearing that I'd be up there alone, with him. No. No. He did in fact mean, alone. As in just me. By myself. No.bo.dy. else. Yeah, if I was nervous before about thinking I was sharing the stage with a staff member....it only worsened when I actually walked onto that massive stage and realized no one was following me! I had to quickly compose my look of sheer panic! Three minutes wasn't lookin' so bad after all!

Oh goodness.

What an experience. What.an.experience. Because I was caught off guard with my solo speaking act, I didn't think to really plan a way to close my speech, thinking there'd be someone else up their to take over that part for me. So when I get done sayin' my thing, I just kinda stand there, awkwardly, and say, "well, that's all I got." And then I throw a fist pump into the air. And then (which I forgot at the time but was brought to my attention today)....I let out a "Whoo Hoo! Praise Jesus for lives changed!" emphatically...and then quickly turned around and walked off the stage!

Bah ha! A little of my charismatic roots escaped after all!

Oh geez.

Second service went much better. Except the whole thinking I was going to throw up part. But the speaking was better.

Except, after hearing from so many people afterwards, they amazingly said I didn't look nervous, sound nervous, or act nervous at all. They said it all flowed really well, and I sounded like me.


Well....that can only be attributed to the Lord! Only. Only only only. How in the world God could manage to take my nerves, my awkwardness, my inadequacies and panic....and turn it into something presentable! I will never know. That is a darn miracle right there. A miracle! Thank goodness my God is in the miracle business. :~) Because He busted one out right there! Only God I tell ya.

Oh gosh I love Him. So so much. To use someone like me. For His glory. Just leaves me so humbled. To go back and reflect on these past three years....all the lives He touched and changed and molded...leaves me so humbled of His power and love. To be able to take this story and use it to maybe encourage someone else...leaves me so humbled of His grace and divine purpose for all things.

Love seeing how He orchestrates all these things for our benefit and His glory.

And glad to have had the opportunity to share a piece of His story. It was worth telling, that's for sure. :~)