Today Sydaleigh is seven.

My oldest turned seven. She woke up and stood tall by her bed so I could examine her closely to see if she had grown during the night into a seven year old. Sure enough...she did. She grew into a seven year old over night.

She's grown a lot this year. We came to Burkina with new school clothes and long skirts that brushed the tops of her feet. And now those skirts sit brushing the tops of her ankles. Her head is slowly and all too quickly inching higher up to my shoulder. It won't be long until we stand eye to eye. Before I know it she'll be looking down at me from above. She's destined to be taller than me I'm sure.

So she is seven.

Doesn't seem like it's been seven years.

I hate that about time. How even when you are savoring the moments and living and breathing and taking advantage of the minutes and making great efforts not to waste your fleeting seconds worth of life here...it all still passes by in a blur. You look back and somehow it's been a year already. Or five years. Or seven years. I wonder where all the time went. Has it really been that long? I look back and remember where all those years took us, and yes, somehow, it has really been that long. It seems impossible. But yet she is seven. She is standing in front of me as proof that time has not deceived me. It has been moving forward all along.

She stands before me slightly taller. More full of knowledge. And wisdom. And wonderful seven year old insights. Time is subtle. It moves and creeps forward a little a time. I lay down to sleep at night and everything stops. Or so it seems. Time does not move forward when I lay to rest. We lay down and give into the slumber that our body demands and wake up knowing it's the dawn of a new day but not feeling that time has been robbed of us while our minds drifted to dreams. But it has. We go to sleep each night and each night time keeps moving. Minute by minute another hour is gone. Hour by hour another day is gone.

I wake up in the morning and look at my children and wonder how they could look bigger. I just saw you yesterday, when did you grow?

In the night. While they slept.

The clock keeps ticking and robs me of having more of her. We are subject to time here. God structured us to live within its confines. And it's on birthdays especially that I am confronted with just how much I miss. I am confronted with just how out of control I am. God set time in motion and it is one of those mysteriously abstract yet seemingly tangible things. We think we've got a grasp on it. I plan my days. I mark my calendar. I try to structure my time just as God has structured His time. Time that He created. I try to suck it for all it's worth. But even in the structure and the wringing it out like a sponge for more minutes....I will only have the same amount everyday. And of that time much of it will be lost. It will be lost to the living and in the living we forget about the time. It's a conflict. We want to slow down and savor it. We want to stop time to live in the moment. But the only way to stop time and savor it is to keep living in it. I seize hold and try to be a good steward of my days and live to make a difference...but it's in the living that makes time seem so fleeting.

So here I am. Looking at my seven year old. Remembering all the years that brought her to this point. Knowing that in but a blink she will be eight and I'll be replaying this song yet again. I will not waste my limited time daydreaming about a future that's not here. I lose enough of my time to dreams that come at night. I will live in this day. And I will live in tomorrow's. And I hope somewhere along the way to teach my kids to do the same. To impress upon their hearts the briefness of their lives. To encourage them to live. To take hold of the fleeting gift that God has given them. To not waste it. To remember the past but not live in it.

Today I have a seven year old. We celebrate her today. We remember all the joys and times we've had the honor of sharing with her so far. And we thank God for another year. Another year to see her live. And grow. And wake up taller. To see her smile. To hear her laugh when she's tickled. To watch her create. To learn. To fall. To stand again. To encourage her to keep pressing forward. To praise Jesus. To seek Him.

Today I have a seven year old. And we gave her breakfast cereal in bed. A poster with balloons to see as soon as she woke up. Some special gifts. A cake to decorate any way she wanted. And a day to simply celebrate her life and the joy that she is. Happy birthday moonchkie.