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Thursday, July 30, 2015

Solidarity.

Dinner got burned tonight. Came downstairs and it was smokin' on the stove. I was distracted, from dealing with a very non-compliant, tired, emotionally distraught and all consuming little toddler, who was also put to bed at 7:25pm with no treat and having only ate half his burnt food.

Isaak left for Oregon this morning. We brought him to the airport at 5am. He's gone for 7 days. This would have something to do with my little toddler boy acting like a crazy person today. Praying the rest of the week isn't as rough as today was. I don't know if I can handle seven days like this. Seriously...I might go mad. Or develop an unstoppable eye twitch. Or an ulcer. None of which sound appealing.

Parenting is rough. Especially still navigating how to parent a little guy who's still learning what a family is, the significance and roles of a parent, and has a medley of emotions that get stirred up within him over a variety of things and doesn't yet know how to express those feelings in any other way besides extreme emotional outbursts.

So I'm sending this to myself.

Solidarity Melissa. Stay strong. Don't let them see you sweat. You can do this. You're gonna make it. I'm pretty sure the kids will too, God willing.
*or library, parking lot, super market, sidewalk, house, doctor's office, playground....basically anywhere and everywhere*


(And since I don't have a pint of ice cream to eat to give myself a sugar coma to fall into to forget the angst of this very challenging parenting day, or even a sugar cereal, I will de-stress and put this day behind me eating a slightly less satisfying bowl of Cheerios.

Boooooo.

I mean that's just sad. )

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

The no shade rant

We were driving back from Delaware this weekend and stopped at a Roadhouse on the way home for dinner. It was a Saturday night, at dinner time, so naturally they were a bit busy and there was a small wait until we could be seated.

The inside of the restaurant was a little congested so we opted to wait outside until our number was called.

We found a nice bench across from one other couple and proceeded to wait patiently for the ten minutes we were told it would take to get a table.

We sat and waited, and the kids played and talked and climbed a rock pillar supporting an overhang outside the building, and played in the stones. We passed the time, in what I found to be a very eye opening ten minutes of cultural observation.

In and out the doors people would go to put their names on the list and then come outside to wait. Except, as soon as they stepped outside, each and every person proceeded to complain loudly about how hot and sunny it was, and "why isn't there any shade?!" "The restaurant needs to provide shade!" "Where are we suppose to sit?!" "It's too sunny out here, I can't believe there is no shade!"

They would all grumble, loudly, in our direction and the couple across from us (who was actually sitting in the only sliver of shade) would offer their obligatory complaints in support of the other person's comments and then the disgruntled patrons would stomp back inside and find a spot, somewhere, squeezed in between all the other disgruntled patrons who also refused to wait in the sun.

I found these interactions both amusing, and deeply concerning.

How is it that, people living in the United States have become so entitled as so demand shade?

Shade?

I was truly flabbergasted. I mean, speechless, as I watched person after person come outside, make the same remarks, and then storm back inside, irritated and "put off" because there was no shade for them to wait under for a lousy ten minutes.

That is truly sad. The heart condition of this country. That people think they can #1-demand shade from a restaurant, and #2, let a lack of shade be a source of complaints, and #3, allow it to determine their attitude.

Not to toot our own horn (but hey-TOOT. freakin'. TOOT), the only people who weren't complaining and scoffing at the injustice of this no shade outrage while outside sitting in the sun...my family.

Why? Living outside the United States for a few years and getting a healthy dose of perspective on what actually constitutes a "problem" as opposed to the inconveniences we mistake for problems will do that to a person I guess.

Also, because having to sit outside in the sun for ten minutes should not cause anyone to become disgruntled. Because having shade to sit in is not some guarantee that you can expect to have just because you are you and you think that in your youness you are entitled to demand that a restaurant provide you with shade so as to not restrict you from reaching your highest measure of comfort. 

Newsflash my fellow Americans....the world does not revolve around your comfort nor is the world your oyster.

Get over yourselves.

What in the world is this attitude so many have adopted here?

This attitude is despicable. Utterly shameful. And embarrassing. To see just how deep this attitude of entitlement runs here. To complain about shade. To be unhappy about a lack of shade for ten minutes.....

I was talking to a Nigerian man from Home Depot a couple weeks ago. This particular man was in our home giving us a quote on new windows and after we were done with the window business, I couldn't help myself and started talking to him about Africa, Nigeria, his homeland, our lives on the continent, his life now. We stood in my living room for a while sharing stories and talking and laughing and comparing cultures. And he said something truly profound to me. Words from a man, like me, who has seen the absolute desperateness in life, and seen the bounty, and lives with both realities in his heart....

"it is easier to manage poverty, than it is to manage a persons happiness."

He hit the nail on the head with that one. Such wise words. Such deep truth right there.

Coming home after living in Burkina Faso has been hard. After experiencing all that we did, we have been left changed. Our perspective on life has shifted. And returning to the United States and seeing the level of ingratitude and entitlement that is brewing in the hearts of so many here is grievous. In order to tame the beast that is this country's never ending pursuit for personal happiness, complaining must be cast off and this attitude of entitlement and discontent in anything less that ideal must not be allowed to fester.

My heart is being stirred with new conviction over this country. With the quest for personal happiness at the forefront of our goals, we will surely experience more desperation than those who live with next to nothing and can still wake up and find reason to smile.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Rewind: The month of May in pictures...from Burkina to Maryland

This photo was taken of the girls on our last day in Burkina on their last morning of school at ISO.
Here they are with their embassy shuttle driver. The nicest man. So sweet, and the kids had such a wonderful rapport with him. When we brought Steven home last year he'd pick him up every morning and hug him tight and speak Mooré to him. The kids had such a great relationship with him. We'll miss his warm smile and sweet demeanor each day.
 Outside our gate headed to the airport later that afternoon. So bittersweet.
We had fourteen people come to our house in the last hour before we left. It was crazy, and hectic and so good to have those moments saying goodbye to people we care about. Here is Joanna, Matt, Megan and Mireya...the last to leave and wave us off as we drove away. Waving goodbye to these dear people, who have been such close friends of ours and have stood by our side and were a part of so many of our memories in country was so very hard for my heart. I will miss them greatly. My heart is heavy from grief in being separated from all the dear friends we made here. God was so good to bring us together.
After 26 hours of traveling we finally landed in America! International travel is rough. So long. So exhausting. Especially with small children, a cat, and three carts piled high with over 15 bags to keep track of.
But what a blessing that my mom was able to travel back with us. Her presence was such a relief to my spirit, a joy to us all, having someone to laugh with and make fun of ridiculous situations with and be silly with, even in the midst of sadness. There is no one like my mom.
Took a trip to Richmond the day after we landed to drop my mom off, and made a pit stop at Jaclyn's to meet the newest family member and visit with our Elsie. Such fun!

For Isaak's 33rd birthday we took a trip up to Delaware to spend the weekend with Jordan and Becca.
We celebrated Isaak's milestone by getting the "kitchen sink". A milestone in itself! Holy moly that's a lot of ice cream! If that giant salad bowl of ice cream doesn't scream Happy Birthday, I don't know what does! Sadly, the seven of us could not even finish it. We made a valiant effort though. =)
The girls collecting some lettuce from their garden for dinner.
We visited Becca's art museum.
My awesome brother teaching us how to make pottery. I was lousy at it, but Isaak had a knack for it! It was loads of fun!
We all had a great time.
We made a return trip to Richmond and made sure to hit up the flea market and walked away with some loot!

Some pics from life at the hotel we called home for a month.
Cleaning up shop! Taking care of our little space.
I am so very proud that we have learned to make a home anywhere we go. Even a hotel. Even for just a month.
Amira: Sydaleigh has trained her to sleep under the covers like a human. =)
Playing and using their imagination with what they've got. My kids make me proud. They are resilient.

Speaking of resilient.....
Second first day of school for these girls!
last quarter of 1st and 3rd grade for my girlies!
The last day of May brought us to D.C. to spend time with Bekah, her family, and we even had the bonus of meeting Bekah's dear friend An Drea.
We flew kites on the lawn in front of the Washington Monument.
Joe put us all to shame with his amazing kite flying skills. We had a fun time hanging out, snacking, laughing, and lunching afterwards. It was a wonderfully fun day spent in our nation's capital with favorite people.
And here we are enjoying the Friday night Farmer's Market on the beach at what would become our new community.
Eating a massive baguette and pain du chocolat. Not quite as good as we are used to, but a suitable alternative. =)
The beach. Our beach. What would become our favorite spot when we finally settle and start putting down roots in our new home next month.

A snippet of life.