The weirdest things happen to me.

Weird thing #1.

Yesterday I was at Fontennelle Forest with the girls and needed to take a quick pee pee break. I ushered both girls into the stall with me, quickly did my business, when all of a sudden

...blackness!

Total.blackness!

"HEY!?" I shouted hoping that someone turned the lights off from outside. (??) While hoping that no one was secretly hiding unannounced in the bathroom.

No one answered.

So it's pitch black in there, not even a back up light, or rays of light from the outside room coming in....just black, and I couldn't see jack!!

I'm sitting there, with my draws down around my ankles, the girls are in the handicap stall with me, somewhere, so I start searching for the toilet paper, which is suppose to be right next to me, but can't find it!

Where the heck did the toilet paper go?!

Shoot! Not cool! Not cool!

It's amazing how in such a small space, like a bathroom stall for instance, when the lights are off you suddenly can't find toilet paper that is suppose to be conveniently situated right next to you.

Finally, I find the huge toilet paper dispenser that is mounted to the wall but now I can't get any paper out because it's a fresh roll and all stuck together!

Oh man. It's pitch black in here! Can I get some help please?!! Not that I would really want anyone to help me because I looked totally ridiculous.

I just want the lights to turn back on!

I wiggle my britches back up, blindly search for the hook on the stall door to get us out of there, find it after a few moments, open the door and...

VIOLA!!

Lights on!

What the heck man?!? Now they come on??

Apparently the bathroom has motion sensored lights and after a few moments of inactivity they turn off to conserve power. But dude, in a bathroom?! For real!

That is the wrong place to be havin' the lights spontaneously, without warning, just turn off! Okay?!

Someone could get hurt...or fall in the toilet!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Weird thing #2

We were all playing in the backyard, enjoying family time before dinner when Sydaleigh asked me to swing with her.

She loves to sit on my lap, facing me, as I swing us high into the sky.

So, we're swinging. Enjoying the breeze on our faces. "Weeeeeeing" ourselves up into the air...when all of a sudden, again....

WABAMMM!

Followed by "OUCH!"

Followed by tears.

A massive (at least 15 pounds, no joke) branch had snapped off the top of the tree and planted itself right on my forehead, then skid down my face! It would have knocked me off the swing if I hadn't had my arms wrapped around the ropes.

It took a second to realize what happened, and that I was in pain, until Isaak asked me if the branch landed on me to which I replied...

"YES IT LANDED ON ME!!!! IT LANDED ON MY FACE!!"

He came over and hugged me, as I started to cry, because that hurt really freakin' bad!

I now have a serious case of ugly goin' on. With a growing lump on my forehead, complete with scratches over the bump, scratches down my nose, and scratches on my cheek, filled in with some tree bark for an added bonus. :)

I look like I was mauled by an animal!

Eyeyeyey. Can a girl catch a break please?

(I am thankful that it didn't land on Sydaleigh. She was sitting in my lap and I have no clue how it missed her. Just glad I could take one for the team! I'd rather it be me than her...although I'd rather it not be any of us!)

And I'm leaving now.

Like I needed yet another reason to be on unfriendly terms with Walmart!
Yesterday I was in the checkout line-checking out, obviously.
I had the cart nestled right up next to the conveyor belt thingy while he bagged my groceries.
Sydaleigh stood up, and momentarily sat on the edge of the cart to make room while I put the bags inside.
As I'm grabbing the rest of my bags from around that turn table I look up to hear our super friendly cashier saying to Sydaleigh,
"excuse me, Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask you to sit down because you could fall backwards,
break your head open, and that.would.be.the.end.of.you."

PSSSHHH!!!!

EX.CUSE ME?!?

NUMBER 1- DON'T call my daughter Ma'am...she's FOUR!

NUMBER 2-DON'T talk to my daughter!

NUMBER 3-WHO THE HECK SAYS THAT?!?

In the mail.

Finally mailed in our last two background checks needed to finish our home study!
Ahhh, sweet relief!
Now I just need to write our profile.
I was really excited about getting to this part, but now I'm not so sure!
How do you adequately describe your family's personality, strengths, aspirations, our desire for adopting, why we would make suitable parents, and everything else....in two pages!?!
Two pages is all I get!
This is going to be tricky!

Sunday's journal entry

(okay, I decided yesterday that I'm going to pick one journal entry a week, the one that taught me, moved me, and inspired me the most... and post it on my blog. Why? Well, I guess I just feel compelled to keep keepin' it real.)

*As I first started writing I thought I was going to be writing about death. Not in a morbid kind of way, but it's something that I think about and for some reason couldn't shake just needing to get my thoughts down concerning it.

I think about death way more often now that I'm a Mom, than I ever did before I had kids. Isaak is very comfortable talking about it, always talking about 'what-if' scenarios involving who will take the kids, what to do with money, yada yada ya. It's never my favorite topic. Makes me rather uncomfortable actually. But why? It's not like I don't know where I'm going! I'm very confident that Heaven is real and I will be flying (ya never know, I might fly) through those golden gates (if there's gates) when I get there.

So what's the deal?!? If I'm being real, I'd have to honestly say that death scares me. Not because I don't know where I'm going, but because death in itself is such an unknown. There are so many variables...how? when? Will my children be okay when I'm gone? Will Isaak be okay when I'm gone? I don't know those things....and I am a person who likes to know things!

I like order, and routine, and schedules. I plan in advance. We just purchased our train tickets, and reserved our hotel for our trip to NYC 7 months from now, why? because I'm a planner. (and a bit of a freak too I guess). I keep our home run on a schedule, somedays it's a loose schedule, but hey, a schedule nonetheless. I like knowing what my day holds and what's coming next.

And yet with death....ya just don't know!

But despite the fact that I don't know when or where or how ....I'm more concerned with what will happen to my family, my children, when I'm not here anymore. I mean, I'm there Mom! I'm completely invested in their lives. And the thought of not being here, ever again, to talk them through their sadness, to console them, to guide them to acceptance-that is the hardest thought of all for me.

So, I guess it comes down to this...do I trust God to take care of my family, for me?

I'm still in the very young years of my childrens lives. I haven't had to say goodbye to them to school, or work, or parties, or dates, or marriage, or moving. Maybe this will get easier the older they get? Somehow I thinking no.

Because as Moms, we feel like it's OUR job to take care of everyone and everything. I mean, come on, we do! I know I do. Sometimes I have to pull in the reigns a little bit when I get out of hand, and I do get out of hand. :)

But, I'm there for every success, pain, tear, laughter. And when I'm not here, who's going to take care of them like I do? I know that I trust God with my life, but am I willing to surrender my "God-complex" with my kids lives and let God take care of them?

I know I'm not God. (doesn't mean I don't get a 'complex' now and again :~) ) Being a parent has made me ever so aware of my short comings and imperfections. But deep down...well, maybe not all that deep down, a part of me has never really fully surrendered my children to Him. Because like I said...I'm the Mom! I'm their whole world right now. They look up to me. Idolize me almost. How could God fill that role? How can God be their Mom?

As I sit here, crying, asking these heinous questions...if feel so.....(all other words fail me except) stupid. Or how about hypocritical. Or embarrassed. I've known first hand that God is big enough to be EVERYTHING to me! He has been my husband, father, mother, brother, sister I never had, friend, cheerleader, coach, mentor, teacher, you name it! I'm talkin' EV.ERY.THING!

Why do I have such a hard time believing that He can be all that to my children?!!

Even if I do live a long life-they will still need Him to be all those things while I'm alive. Dying makes no difference. I need to stop worrying about what's going to happen to them when I die, because they need Him just as much while I'm here, alive and kickin'!

I also need to stop thinking of myself as 'first' in their lives. I need to move over. And not just once. Because Lord knows I have a bad memory and come tomorrow I'll be trying to weasel my way back up to the top of the totem pole. If I move over it will give God more of a chance to manifest His prescence in them.

I can't be their everything, even though they expect me to be. I need to help guide my children closer to God so they can see that HE is their everything. Not Mommy.

Mommy can't be everything to you.
God can be everything to you, and He's the one you should expect it from.

It's my job to help them see this.

It's my job to help undo the expectations they have naturally placed on me, and put them back on God.

I can't always take care of them...God can.

I won't always be there for them...God will.

Mommy's not perfect....God is.

Mommy makes mistakes...God doesn't.

Mommy does and will always love you...but God will love you more.

My voice and instruction are important and certainly have there place in my kids lives, but it's not to come before God's. They are not going to be here forever. A day is going to come when they will be out of the safety, protection, and supervision of our home. And in the times that they are facing the world, and I can't be there....will they know to turn to God? Have I equipped my children to cry out to Him for help? Have I equipped my children to sing His praises, in victory and in pain?

I want to raise children who rely on God more than they rely on me. Because He trumps Mommy. He's that good. All the time.

Does anybody hear me?

Some things I say EVERY day....

You're not the most important person in this house.
There are other people in this family besides you.
Stop interrupting me.
Stop yelling.
Use your talking voice even when you're mad.
Follow directions.
Stop throwing a temper-tantrum.
This is not appropriate behavior.
Use good manners.
Try again.
Say it without whining.
Try again.
Use your big girl voice.
Try again.
Say 'no thank you' if you don't like something.
Say please.
Be careful.
Girls, be nice.
Knock it off.
Use kind words.
Say your sorry.
Say I forgive you.

And, repeat over and over and over and over and over...and so on. I say this stuff so much I get sick of hearing myself saying it. I'm praying that one day this endless redundancy will have a positive effect, because I really don't want to be telling them this as adults.

I'm too young for this, or so I thought

Me and Sydaleigh were sitting together on the couch yesterday when she looked at my hands and said very enthusiastically....

"HEY! Momma, your fingers look like mine do when I'm in the bath!"

Oh...

Hmmm...

Thank you, that was nice to hear.

I take my hand back, examine my 'pruney wrinkled' fingers, and think,

"Four year olds sure are honest! Geesh!"

I can always count on my kids to keep me humble. :~)

Making progress

Typically, whenever Marvelly doesn't like something she's eating she will simply spit it out.
Whether that be on the table,
the floor,
the couch,
a friends table, floor or couch,
doesn't matter to her.
And it's hard telling when she's gonna do it too, because she really likes food.
So, before I know it, she'll be eatin' a spoon of something and then I'll look up and she's be going,
"puah, puah, puah"
and the food will be everywhere.
But! tonight she was eating a mini snickers and came in the office and said,
"yucky candy, yucky candy",
as she was simultaneously talking with little bits of chewed up peanuts in her mouth.
She randomly decided after eating a good many snickers that she didn't like the peanuts anymore, like I said, ya just never know with this kid.
But, rather than spit them out all over the floor, which I would have been picking out of the carpet, she spit them out in the sink.
She saved her chewed up peanuts to spit them out in the sink!
Bless her little heart!
Ahh, it's the small things in parenting I tell ya.
My little girl is growing up!

Easter weekend

(whoopsie, I meant to post this 14 days ago! Well, Happy Easter again!)

Easter.
It's truly my favorite day of the year.
I love the reason we celebrate.
I love going to church and looking around at the congregation.
I love watching everyone worship and give praise to our risen King.
I love celebrating with everyone the magnitude of His sacrifice.
It's overwhelming.
It always leaves me in tears.

This year was the first year since we've been in Omaha that we haven't gathered together among familiar friends and potlucked it up. This year we decided to stay home and invite a bunch of single people over from Isaak's work. We were busting at the seams in our little home but somehow there was room for everyone. The kids had a ball 'finding' Easter eggs in the back yard.

Isaak had a great time connecting on a more personal level with some guys from work.


And even among the busyness I was able to steal some quiet moments to reflect and take in the grandeur of the day.

We also made Easter egg rice krispie treats, that turned out, well, loaded with sprinkles and covered in chocolate that Marvelly pre-tasted.


took Marvelly to the Easter egg hunt at the base lake (while Sydaleigh went to figure skating lessons)


delivered cupcake plates for our neighbors with a cute little Easter card


dyed eggs, which was a first for the girls.


and then hunted for their hidden baskets Easter morning





These are the girls new dresses. And all I have to say is thank goodness they have a Daddy because if it was up to me they would have worn their Christmas dresses but Isaak was insistent of new, puffy, beautiful ones. I remember being in the store (yes Target) and hearing Isaak down the aisle going, "Sydaleigh, which one do you like, this one, or this one. Marvelly, which one do you like, this one, or this one." (He held up every.single.dress in the store asking them this).
Gotta love a daddy who loves to buy pretty things. :)

The Case of the Mysteriously Washed Toilet Paper

How did we not notice washing a whole roll of toilet paper?
How did it get in the washer?
How did it get transferred unnoticed to the dryer?
Who put it in there????
It's a mystery....that I'm thinking leads to Marvelly........



Washed and dried toilet paper really has a way of sticking to freshly cleaned laundry. We were pulling this stuff out of our clothes for a while, among other places. Isaak came home from work yesterday and discovered a wad of toilet paper stuck inside his belly button because it had been stuck inside his shirt. But all I could think was, "never mind not noticing the toilet paper stuck to the inside of your clothes....how do you NOT notice toilet paper stuck to the inside of your belly button?!?!"

Birthday Ball '10

This years 55th Wing Birthday Ball went off with out a glitch. :)

The girls helped me get ready. They waited ever so patiently in the bathroom watching me do my hair and put on make-up, until the time finally came for them to help me with my dress and shoes. ( Sydaleigh was very worried that I was taking too long in the bathroom and I wouldn't have time to get dressed. She didn't even want to go outside to kill time while I finished up, thinking I was going to get dressed without her. ) Her mind was swirling with delight thinking about her mommy and daddy going to a real ball, just like her princesses. And so I made sure to let her be a part of it in any way that I could. And she was thrilled thinking that I needed her help to get dressed and put my shoes on. :) Ahh, the simple delights of a child.

We sat at a great table, had fun mingling and shmoozing, laughing, eating, everything but dancing. (The event lagged on longer than expected and we had to head home to re-leave the sitter, so no dancing.) But everything else. Isaak had fun this year because so many from his clinic attended. It was a fun night. Nothing major to report, no catastrophes or malfunctions of any kind. Completely uneventful, which I appreciated. :)



Uh-oh! Where'd I go?! Why did I stand in front of the black curtain to take pictures?! My dress blends in completely!





To a great year!